8 red flags to look for when choosing your life partner

Looking for your forever person? It’s a big deal!

Dating can be awesome, but it can also be confusing. You don’t want to end up with someone who seems great at first but turns out to be a dud.

Trust me, picking a life partner is not just about the here and now. It’s about your future happiness too.

So, before you get super serious with someone, you’ve got to know what red flags to watch for.

In this article, we’ll talk about the 8 biggest warning signs that the person you’re dating might not be the right one for you.

Keep reading, and let’s make sure you’re headed for happiness, not heartbreak.

1. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

You’ve got boundaries, right? Everyone does. Maybe you need your alone time, or you have certain limits on how quickly you want the relationship to move. These boundaries are a big deal!

If your partner ignores these boundaries or makes you feel bad for having them, that’s a red flag waving in your face.

Seriously, imagine spending your life with someone who constantly pushes you to do things you’re not comfortable with.

Respecting boundaries is a must in any relationship. If they can’t get that right, what else are they going to mess up?

2. They’re Too Perfect

Wait, what? Yep, you read that right.

If the person you’re dating seems too perfect, it might actually be a red flag.

Now, I’m not saying you should be hunting for flaws or deliberately try to find something wrong with them.

But a relationship is about accepting both the good and the bad, and let’s be honest—no one is perfect.

If they never seem to have a bad day, never admit to a mistake, and always agree with everything you say, something’s off.

It could mean they’re hiding their true self or they’re not invested enough in the relationship to show their authentic side.

Either way, you’ve got to ask yourself: Are you dating a real person or a persona?

Remember, in a lifelong partnership, you want someone you can be real with, flaws and all. So if they’re too perfect, think twice.

3. They Never Talk About The Future

This one hits close to home for me. A while back, I was dating someone who was super fun to hang out with.

We had a blast, but whenever I tried to bring up anything about the future, they dodged the topic like it was a dodgeball game.

Trust me, it’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.

Sure, not everyone is comfortable planning out the next five years down to the month.

But if you’re looking for a life partner, you both need to be on the same page about some basic future goals—like whether you want kids, where you’d like to live, and what you both want out of life.

If they avoid these conversations or give vague answers, it could mean they’re not that committed—or they just haven’t thought that far ahead.

Either way, it’s not a good sign for a lasting relationship.

4. They Make You Feel Like You’re Not Enough

If you’re with someone who makes you feel like you’re always falling short, that’s a massive red flag. I’m talking about those snide comments about your job, the passive-aggressive jabs at your lifestyle, or the subtle comparisons to their ex or even your friends.

No joke, life is tough enough without having someone by your side who makes you feel inadequate. A true life partner should lift you up, not drag you down.

They should inspire you to be better, sure, but not make you feel like you’re a lesser version of yourself.

If you’re always feeling on edge, always trying to prove yourself to them, ask yourself why you’re sticking around. You deserve someone who loves you for you, not for who they want you to be.

Trust me, if you stay in a relationship like this, you’re setting yourself up for a life of insecurity and unhappiness. And nobody’s got time for that.

5. Your Friends and Family Don’t Like Them

Sometimes love can be blinding, and we might not see the red flags that are obvious to others.

If the people who have known you the longest and love you the most have reservations about your partner, don’t brush it off.

Those closest to you have your best interests at heart and can often see things more clearly than you can when you’re head over heels in love.

Remember, your friends and family will still be there even if the relationship ends, and they can offer some valuable perspectives that you might be missing.

It’s like getting a second opinion when you’re unsure of a decision—except these opinions come from people who genuinely care about your well-being.

If the majority of your inner circle has expressed concerns, it might be worth taking a step back to assess the relationship from a more objective viewpoint.

Because when it comes to choosing a life partner, it takes a village to make sure you’re making the right choice.

6. They’re Always Available

Wait a minute, isn’t being available a good thing? Well, yes and no.

While it’s nice to have a partner who’s there for you, being too available can be a warning sign.

If they’re always free, never have plans of their own, and seem to have no life outside of the relationship, it might be time to pause and reflect.

In a healthy relationship, both people have their own interests, friendships, and commitments. It’s what makes you a well-rounded person and keeps the relationship fresh and exciting.

But if you find your partner has no hobbies, activities, or friends outside of you, it can lead to an unhealthy, codependent relationship down the line.

You want a partner, not a pet.

Someone who brings their own joy, interests, and challenges into your life will enrich it, not just fill up your free time.

7. They Never Apologize or Take Responsibility

Alright, last but definitely not least, pay attention to how your partner handles mistakes and disagreements.

Nobody’s perfect—we all mess up sometimes. But how we deal with those slip-ups says a lot about our character.

If your partner never apologizes or takes responsibility for their actions, that’s a glaring red flag. It shows a lack of maturity and emotional intelligence.

You might find yourself always being the one to say sorry, just to keep the peace.

But this kind of imbalance is a ticking time bomb in any relationship.

Imagine building a life with someone who can’t admit when they’re wrong. From minor arguments to major life decisions, you’ll be shouldering all the emotional labor.

And let’s be honest, that’s just exhausting.

So there you have it, the seven big red flags to keep an eye on when you’re searching for your life partner.

Knowledge is power, and now you’re equipped to make a smarter choice for your future happiness.

8. They’re Inconsistent With Their Words and Actions

If the person you’re dating says one thing but does another, that’s a massive red flag.

For instance, they might tell you they’re looking for a serious relationship but avoid committing to plans or dodging labels.

Or they’ll claim to value honesty but are cagey about their past or current life.

Inconsistency isn’t just confusing; it erodes trust. And trust is the bedrock of any lasting relationship.

You should be able to take your partner at their word and know they’ll follow through. Anything less creates a shaky foundation that you don’t want to build a lifetime on.

So there you go, now you’ve got eight red flags to keep an eye out for.

Remember, the goal isn’t to become paranoid but to enter into any relationship with both eyes wide open.

It’s your life, your future, and you deserve to be happy, respected, and loved for who you are.

If you’ve spotted one or more of these red flags, it’s a good time for some honest conversations and perhaps some soul-searching.

Either way, you’re better equipped to make choices that are right for you. 

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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