Lachlan Brown
Science tells us that happiness isn’t a destination—it’s a daily practice. And some habits can seriously hamper our pursuit of joy.
These habits, often subtle and unnoticed, can keep you stuck in a cycle of unhappiness you can’t quite shake off.
The trick lies in identifying these habits. Once you know what they are, you can make a conscious effort to avoid them.
In this article, I’ll share 8 daily habits that will keep you from reaching true happiness, according to science. Stay tuned if you’re ready for some happiness-infused lifestyle changes.
1) Constant comparison
We live in a world that thrives on comparison. Social media platforms are rife with highlight reels of people’s lives, often leading us to compare our own lives with theirs.
According to science, this habit of constantly comparing ourselves to others is a surefire way to extinguish our happiness.
Why is this so? Because comparison often leads to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, eating away at our self-esteem and happiness.
When we base our self-worth on how we stack up against others, we place our happiness in a variable outside of our control.
And here’s the kicker: there will always be someone who appears to be doing better, looking better, or living better.
2) Neglecting self-care
I’ve learned this one the hard way. There was a time when my schedule was so packed with tasks, deadlines, and responsibilities that I didn’t have time for anything else. I was always on the go, ticking off one thing after another on my to-do list.
I was convinced that being busy meant I was being productive and successful. But in reality, I was neglecting the most important task of all – self-care.
Science backs this up. Studies show that neglecting self-care – things like proper nutrition, regular exercise, sufficient sleep, and taking time to relax and recharge – can lead to increased stress levels, decreased mental health, and ultimately unhappiness.
When we neglect our own needs, we’re essentially sending ourselves a message that we’re not important. And that can take a serious toll on our happiness.
It took me a while to realize this. But once I did, I made sure to incorporate self-care into my daily routine. And trust me, it has made a world of difference to my overall happiness.
3) Holding on to grudges
Here’s something you might not know: holding on to grudges isn’t just bad for your emotional health, it can also have physical consequences.
When we harbor resentment or anger towards someone, it triggers a stress response in our bodies. This can lead to an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and the production of stress hormones. Over time, this can result in serious health problems such as heart disease and stroke.
Moreover, holding on to past hurts prevents us from moving forward and finding happiness in the present moment. It keeps us stuck in a cycle of negativity and bitterness.
4) Living in the past or future
Buddhism emphasizes the importance of living in the present moment. It teaches that true happiness can only be found when we let go of our attachment to past regrets and future anxieties.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into this concept. I discuss how living in the present moment allows us to fully engage with our lives and derive genuine satisfaction from our experiences.
But if you’re constantly ruminating over past mistakes or worrying about future outcomes, you’re not truly living in the present. This can rob you of your happiness.
Our brains are wired to learn from the past and plan for the future. But when we let these thoughts consume us, we miss out on the joy and beauty that is right in front of us.
5) Ignoring negative emotions
There was a time when I believed that being happy meant being cheerful all the time. Any sign of negative emotions – be it sadness, anger, or fear – had to be pushed away or hidden from view. I thought that acknowledging these feelings would make me weak.
But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Ignoring negative emotions doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, they lurk beneath the surface, festering and growing until they become too big to handle.
Science supports this. Research shows that suppressing negative emotions can lead to increased stress, poor mental health, and decreased life satisfaction.
It’s essential to understand that feeling negative emotions is a part of being human. They’re not a sign of weakness, but rather an indication that something in your life needs attention.
6) Chasing after happiness
Now, here’s something a bit counter-intuitive: The more you chase after happiness, the more elusive it becomes.
Research has found that people who place a high value on happiness often end up feeling more unhappy. Why? Because constantly seeking happiness can make you feel like you’re not happy enough, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment.
Happiness isn’t something that can be pursued or achieved. It’s a by-product of living a life that’s true to who you are, engaging in meaningful activities, and building strong relationships with the people around you.
7) Overloading on material possessions
In our consumer-driven society, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that happiness can be bought. We often believe that the latest gadget, a bigger house, or a fancier car will make us happy.
But science tells us otherwise. Studies have shown that material possessions don’t bring long-term happiness. In fact, they often lead to more stress as we worry about paying for them, maintaining them, or even the fear of losing them.
True happiness comes from experiences, relationships, and personal growth—not from the things we own.
8) Avoiding change
Change is a part of life. It’s the only constant we can truly rely on. Yet, many of us resist change, clinging onto familiarity and comfort even when it no longer serves us.
Avoiding change can keep you stuck in harmful patterns and situations, inhibiting your growth and happiness.
Embracing change, however challenging it might be, is essential for true happiness. It opens up new possibilities, opportunities and experiences that can enrich your life in unexpected ways.
Don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back. Remember, every end is a new beginning. And with every change, comes the chance to create a happier life.
Final thought: It’s within your reach
Happiness isn’t a mysterious, elusive state that some are born with and some are not. It’s not dictated by fate or chance, nor is it a prize to be won.
Happiness, according to science and wisdom traditions alike, is within our control. It’s influenced by the daily habits we consciously or unconsciously engage in.
From the moment we wake up to the moment we close our eyes at night, our habits shape our reality. They can either lead us towards contentment and joy, or they can steer us into unending cycles of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into the profound wisdom of Buddhism that guides us towards a life of genuine happiness.
As you reflect on the habits we’ve explored in this article, remember that it’s never too late to change. It’s never too late to shed detrimental habits and replace them with ones that enrich your life.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination. It’s about embracing change, living in the present, nurturing your relationships, and above all else, being true to yourself. Remember, happiness isn’t something out there, it’s right here within your reach.
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