8 brutal truths about life that 98% of people learn too late, according to psychology

Life can be a tough teacher, and sometimes, the lessons come a bit too late. As Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and an enthusiast of mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve been intrigued by these harsh realities that most of us learn when it’s too late.

Psychology reveals that there are some brutal truths about life that 98% of people discover far too late.

These truths can be tough to swallow, but understanding them earlier can make a significant difference in how we live our lives.

In this article, I’ll be exploring 8 of these brutal truths. They’re not sugar-coated, but knowledge of them can help you live a more mindful and fulfilling life.

Let’s get started. 

1) The pursuit of happiness often leads to unhappiness

Life can be a paradox, especially when it comes to happiness.

Psychology tells us that one of the harshest truths we learn too late is that the more we chase happiness, the more it eludes us. Sounds confusing, right?

Consider this. We’re often told that happiness lies in success, wealth, or achieving our goals. So, we work hard, pushing ourselves to the brink of exhaustion in pursuit of these so-called markers of happiness.

But here’s the twist. The goalposts keep shifting. New desires replace fulfilled ones. We’re caught up in a never-ending chase, leaving us stressed and discontented instead of happy.

Drawing from mindfulness and Buddhism, I can tell you, genuine happiness doesn’t come from external achievements but from inner peace and contentment.

Instead of relentlessly chasing happiness as a destination, try embracing it as a journey. Enjoy the small joys, live in the present moment and detach from the constant need for more. Happiness then becomes a byproduct of a well-lived life, not a goal to be chased.

It’s a tough lesson but one that can transform how you approach life.

2) You can’t control everything, and that’s okay

Many of us spend a significant part of our lives trying to control everything around us. We want to dictate outcomes, manage people’s perceptions of us, and even manipulate circumstances to our advantage.

Psychology reveals that this is one of those brutal truths most people grasp far too late: You can’t control everything, and that’s perfectly fine.

I’ve spent years studying mindfulness and Buddhism, and one thing I’ve learned is the power of acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation or complacency, but it means understanding that some things are beyond our control, and that’s okay.

Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Buddhist monk, once said, “Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”

Trying to control everything only leads to stress and disappointment when things don’t go as planned. Instead, focus on what you can control – your actions, attitudes, and responses. Let go of the rest. It’s a liberating truth that can lead to a more peaceful and satisfying life.

3) Everything is impermanent

Life is a constant flux, and everything we know and hold dear is impermanent. This reality can be a harsh truth to accept, especially when it involves change that disrupts our comfort zones or leads to loss.

Buddhist teachings emphasize the concept of impermanence or ‘anicca’. It tells us that everything is constantly changing – our feelings, thoughts, bodies, relationships, even the world around us. Nothing remains static.

There’s a raw honesty in acknowledging this truth. It means coming to terms with the fact that good times won’t last forever. But on the flip side, it also means that neither will the bad times.

Understanding impermanence can profoundly change your perspective on life. It encourages you to appreciate the present moment, knowing it’s fleeting. It helps you to let go of attachments and aversions, reducing suffering and promoting peace of mind.

It’s a brutal truth about life that most learn too late – but knowing it earlier can significantly change your journey through life.

4) Mindless busyness is not productivity

In our fast-paced world, there’s often a misguided belief that constant busyness equates to productivity. We wear our overfilled schedules like badges of honor, believing that the more we do, the more accomplished we are.

However, one brutal truth that many learn too late is that mindless busyness is not true productivity.

Mindfulness teaches us the importance of being fully engaged in what we’re doing right now, rather than juggling multiple tasks all at once. It’s about quality, not quantity.

When we’re always rushing from one task to another, our attention gets fragmented and our stress levels spike. We might seem busy, but are we truly effective?

Instead, mindfulness encourages us to slow down, focus on one task at a time, and do it well. It’s about being present in the moment and giving our full attention to what’s at hand.

This honest insight about life can be a game-changer when understood early. It relieves you from the constant pressure of being ‘busy’ and allows you to truly excel in your endeavors with mindful presence.

5) Ego is the enemy of growth

One of the most significant barriers to personal growth is something that resides within each of us: our ego. Our ego loves to be right, seeks approval, and often gets defensive when faced with criticism.

The brutal truth is that the more we feed our ego, the more it hinders our growth. This is a lesson many learn too late in life.

In my own journey and through my research for my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I’ve discovered the importance of keeping the ego in check.

Buddhism teaches us that ego is merely a construct of the mind and not our true self. It advises us to let go of our ego-driven desires and instead, seek wisdom, compassion, and connection.

By acknowledging this truth and learning to separate the ego from your true self, you can open up a new path to growth and self-improvement.

It’s not an easy lesson, but it’s one that can have profound impacts on your life.

6) Avoiding pain only intensifies it

It’s a natural instinct to avoid pain and discomfort. We do whatever we can to escape it, whether it’s physical, emotional, or psychological. But the brutal truth is, the more we try to avoid pain, the more we intensify it.

This might seem counterintuitive, but it’s a cornerstone of both mindfulness and Buddhism.

Buddhism teaches us about the nature of suffering and the importance of confronting our pain. It encourages us to face our suffering head-on and understand its origins instead of running from it.

Similarly, mindfulness asks us to tune into our pain and discomfort rather than distract ourselves from it. It’s about sitting with our feelings, observing them without judgment, and accepting them as they are.

Avoiding pain might offer temporary relief, but it doesn’t solve the underlying issue. It only pushes it deeper into our subconscious, causing it to resurface more intensely later on.

Accepting this raw truth can be difficult, but once we do, we can start dealing with our pain in a healthier and more constructive way. It’s a harsh lesson often learnt too late, but understanding it sooner can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

7) You are not your thoughts

One of the most transformative yet brutal truths about life is understanding that you are not your thoughts. More often than not, we identify with our thoughts so much that we believe they define us.

But as renowned mindfulness expert, Jon Kabat-Zinn, profoundly said, “You are not your thoughts; you are the observer of your thoughts.”

Our minds are continually churning out thoughts, some positive, some negative. But these thoughts are transient and temporary. They do not define our essence or our worth.

Buddhism teaches us the practice of detachment from our thoughts. It encourages us to observe our thoughts as they come and go, without judgment or attachment.

This realization can be a game-changer. It liberates you from being a prisoner of your own mind, allowing you to experience life more fully and authentically.

Acknowledging this truth can be tough. It’s a raw, honest insight about life that most people learn too late. But once you grasp it, it can transform your relationship with your mind and ultimately, with yourself.

8) Doing nothing can be productive

In a society that values constant action and achievement, it might seem counterintuitive to say that doing nothing can be productive. But mindfulness teaches us that this paradox is indeed true.

Often, we are caught up in a whirlwind of tasks and to-do lists, barely catching our breath. But it’s important to realize that constant action doesn’t equate to productivity. In fact, it can lead to burnout and decrease our efficiency over time.

Mindfulness encourages us to take pauses, to just be. It promotes the practice of stillness and silence. This isn’t wasted time – rather, it’s an opportunity to reset, recharge and gain a fresh perspective.

These moments of ‘doing nothing’ can fuel creativity, enhance problem-solving skills, and improve mental well-being. So contrary to popular belief, doing nothing can indeed be a productive use of time.

This counterintuitive truth might be hard to grasp in our action-driven culture. Still, understanding its value early on can significantly boost your productivity and overall quality of life. It’s a brutal truth about life most learn too late, but once realized, it can be a total game-changer.

Conclusion

As difficult as they may be to accept, acknowledging these truths can profoundly impact your life’s journey, fostering growth, contentment, and wisdom.

If you’re interested in diving deeper into these concepts and discovering more life-transforming truths rooted in Buddhism and mindfulness, I invite you to check out my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego.

In it, I explore insights like these in greater depth, offering practical advice on integrating these truths into your daily life. It’s a guide designed to help you navigate life with more awareness, authenticity, and minimal ego interference.

Recall these truths when life gets challenging. They serve as reminders that life is a journey of learning and growth.