8 boundaries every man should set with female friends, according to psychology

Navigating friendships with the opposite sex can be a minefield. As a man, setting boundaries with your female friends is crucial to maintain a platonic relationship without any misinterpretations.

As an expert in relationships and the founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve seen time and again how blurred lines can lead to confusion and even heartbreak. But don’t worry, psychology has your back!

In my research, I’ve uncovered eight key boundaries that can guide you in these friendships. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Clear communication is key

In the world of relationships and friendships, clear communication is like the North Star, guiding you through potentially murky waters.

Psychologists have long emphasized the importance of clear, direct communication in any relationship, and friendships are no exception. When it comes to friendships with the opposite sex, where misunderstanding can easily arise, this becomes even more crucial.

Say for instance, you’re hanging out with a female friend one-on-one and you feel like she’s reading more into the situation. Instead of letting her assumptions linger and potentially cause strain, it’s better to address it head-on.

This doesn’t mean you need to be blunt or hurtful. Instead, use phrases like “I value our friendship a lot, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page”. It shows respect for her feelings while also setting a clear boundary.

2) Understand the importance of space

As an old saying goes, “Good fences make good neighbors”, and this definitely holds true in friendships as well. Considered by many as a wise piece of advice, Robert Frost’s words perfectly capture the essence of setting boundaries.

Giving each other enough space is essential for any friendship to thrive. This is particularly important in friendships between men and women, where feelings can easily get complicated.

I remember a time when a close male friend of mine started hanging out with me more often than usual. Although I cherished our time together, it started to feel overwhelming. That’s when I realized the importance of space in maintaining a healthy friendship.

Make sure you’re not always in each other’s pockets. As much as you enjoy spending time together, remember to respect her personal time and space. It will not only keep your friendship healthy but will also prevent any potential misunderstanding from creeping in.

3) Keep personal relationship details private

In my years of coaching and counselling, I’ve found that one of the most common pitfalls in friendships between men and women is the sharing of too many personal details, particularly about one’s romantic relationships.

While it’s perfectly fine to seek advice or a listening ear from a friend, it’s important to remember that your female friend is not your relationship counselor. Sharing too many intimate details can lead to awkward situations and misunderstandings.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I’ve dealt in-depth with the idea of maintaining healthy boundaries in all kinds of relationships. One key takeaway is that we must learn to manage our own emotions and relationships.

So gentlemen, next time you’re tempted to spill all the details about your latest argument with your partner, pause for a moment. Consider whether it’s appropriate and if it respects the boundary of your friendship. 

4) Encourage other friendships

Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, why would you want your friend to spend time with others when she could be spending it with you? Well, it’s all about balance.

Psychology has shown us that having a diverse range of friendships is crucial for our personal growth. It allows us to learn from different perspectives and experiences, broadening our worldview.

So instead of trying to monopolize your female friend’s time, encourage her to nurture other friendships as well. Not only does this show respect for her individuality and autonomy, but it also ensures that your friendship doesn’t become unhealthy or codependent.

Just as a garden needs variety to thrive, so do our social lives. Encouraging your female friends to have a rich social life outside of your friendship can actually strengthen your bond in the long run. Now, isn’t that an interesting thought?

5) Avoid romantic gestures

Picture this. You’re out shopping with a female friend and she can’t decide between two dresses. Wanting to make her feel special, you buy both for her. Sounds like a sweet gesture, right? Well, not quite.

While it might seem like a harmless act of kindness, such gestures can easily be misinterpreted as romantic interest. Trust me, I’ve seen it happen more times than I’d like to admit.

A few years back, a good friend of mine found himself in a sticky situation because of a similar act. What he thought was a friendly gesture was taken as a sign of romantic interest by his female friend. It took them weeks to navigate through the confusion and get their friendship back on track.

So gentlemen, although your intentions might be pure, it’s best to steer clear from gestures that could potentially be seen as romantic. Stick to actions that reflect the platonic nature of your friendship and you’ll avoid a whole lot of unnecessary drama.

6) Acknowledge the elephant in the room

Let’s get raw and honest here. There’s often an unspoken tension that can arise in friendships between men and women due to the possibility of romantic feelings. Ignoring it won’t make it go away, so it’s better to acknowledge it.

If you find yourself developing feelings for your female friend, it’s essential to be honest with yourself first. Denial can lead to a messy situation that could potentially ruin your friendship.

Once you’ve recognized your feelings, decide what you want to do about them. You might choose to distance yourself until your feelings subside, or you might decide to have an open conversation with your friend about it.

The key is not to let these feelings drive your actions without being acknowledged. Unexpressed romantic feelings can lead to misunderstandings, hurt, and regret.

7) Respect her relationship status

This is a big one, guys. As the great Maya Angelou once said, “Respect is love in plain clothes”. This means that love, in any form – even friendship, should always be respectful.

If your female friend is in a relationship, it’s crucial to respect that. This respect should be reflected in your actions and conversations with her. Avoid making inappropriate comments or spending too much alone time with her that could potentially discomfort her partner.

I recall a situation where a friend of mine was having trouble with his girlfriend because he was spending too much time with a female friend who was also in a relationship. It led to unnecessary tension and strain on both relationships.

Respecting her relationship status doesn’t mean distancing yourself completely. It simply means being mindful of your actions and ensuring they don’t overstep any boundaries. It’s all about balance, respect, and understanding.

8) Be prepared for change

Let’s get real here. Friendships, like any relationship, can and do change over time. Whether it’s due to changing circumstances, growing apart, or even the development of romantic feelings, it’s important to be prepared for these shifts.

This doesn’t mean you should always be on guard or expect the worst. Rather, it means understanding that friendships, even great ones, aren’t always static. Adaptability is key in maintaining any relationship over time.

Being honest with yourself and your friend about these changes can go a long way in preserving your friendship. It might be uncomfortable at first, but acknowledging when things are different can help you navigate through these changes together.

Conclusion

Navigating friendships with the opposite sex isn’t always easy, but with the right boundaries in place, it becomes a lot more manageable. Remember, these boundaries aren’t set in stone. They’re more like a compass, guiding you towards a more fulfilling and respectful friendship.

And if you’re looking for more insights into maintaining healthy relationships, don’t forget to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s packed with advice and strategies on how to foster healthy, strong connections with the people in your life.