There’s a world of difference between being liked and being tolerated.
Being liked is about being genuine, showing empathy, and having an approachable demeanor. It’s something that naturally comes to people who are inherently likable.
But don’t fret if you’re not amongst those naturally charming folks. The best part about likability is that it’s not a gift, but a set of behaviors that can be learned and adopted.
In this article, I’ll share with you 8 behaviors that genuinely likable people consistently exhibit. These are simple yet effective habits that you can start practicing today to increase your likability quotient. Don’t worry, there’s no pretense or manipulation involved – just pure authenticity.
1) Authenticity shines through
In a world full of pretenses and facades, genuine people are like a breath of fresh air.
Authenticity is a key trait of genuinely likable people. They are not afraid to be themselves, even if it means standing out from the crowd or going against the grain. They don’t put on a show for others or try to fit into a mold that society has created.
What you see is what you get with them, and this transparency makes them highly likable and trustworthy. People gravitate towards those who are real because it gives them the freedom to be real in return.
So if you’re looking to increase your likability, start by embracing your true self. This doesn’t mean disregarding room for growth or self-improvement. Rather, it’s about being honest with who you are, your values, your strengths, and yes, even your weaknesses.
Remember, authenticity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real. And that’s a behavior you can adopt today.
2) Listening is the real art of conversation
I’ve come to realize that one of the most likable traits a person can have is the ability to listen genuinely. Not just hear, but truly listen.
I remember attending a social gathering a while back where I barely knew anyone. Naturally, I felt quite out of place. Then, I met this woman named Sara.
She had an incredible knack for listening. When I was talking to her, she gave me her full attention, her eyes meeting mine, nodding at the right moments, and giving thoughtful responses. She didn’t interrupt or try to steer the conversation towards herself. In fact, she made me feel like I was the most important person in that room.
And you know what? I instantly liked Sara. Her ability to listen made me feel valued and understood. It wasn’t about what she said or did, it was about how she made me feel.
That’s when it hit me – the power of genuine listening. I’ve tried to adopt this behavior ever since and trust me, it works wonders for your likability! Listening shows respect and interest in others, and that’s something everyone appreciates.
3) They radiate positivity
Did you know that our brains are wired to respond positively to optimism? That’s right, a sunny outlook isn’t just good for your health, it’s also a powerful magnet for likability.
Genuinely likable people are often those who maintain a positive attitude, even when things aren’t going their way. They tend to focus on the bright side of things and are quick to find solutions rather than dwelling on problems.
This doesn’t mean they are unrealistic or deny the existence of problems. Instead, they choose to approach challenges with a can-do attitude and encourage others to do the same.
Their positivity is infectious, making people feel happier and more optimistic when they’re around. If you want to be more likable, adopting an optimistic outlook can be a great place to start.
4) They value the time of others
We all lead busy lives, and time is a resource that we can never get back once it’s spent. Genuinely likable people understand this well.
They respect other people’s time as much as their own. Whether it’s being punctual for appointments, not keeping people waiting, or focusing fully on the person or task at hand without distractions, they demonstrate that they value and respect others.
This kind of behavior sends a clear message: “I respect you, and I appreciate the time you’re spending with me or on this task.”
Adopting this behavior not only increases your likability but also builds mutual respect. It’s a clear sign of professionalism and consideration that goes a long way in any interaction.
5) They practice empathy
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. This is a mantra often lived by genuinely likable people. At the heart of their likability is a deep sense of empathy.
Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others. It’s about putting yourself in their shoes and viewing the world from their perspective.
When you interact with someone who is truly empathetic, you feel seen, heard, and understood. It makes you feel valued as an individual, creating a heartwarming connection that is hard to forget.
Understanding and acknowledging the emotions of others isn’t always easy. It requires patience, openness, and a willingness to listen without judgment. But by adopting this behavior, you’ll not only become more likable but also foster stronger, more meaningful relationships with the people around you.
6) They acknowledge their flaws
Nobody’s perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and that’s what makes us human.
I remember a time when I was struggling with a project. I was so focused on performing well that I overlooked my own limitations. Instead of seeking help, I pushed harder, thinking I could handle it all on my own. The result? I missed the deadline.
It was a humbling experience. I realized that acknowledging my weaknesses didn’t make me weak; it made me human. And guess what? People appreciated my honesty.
Genuinely likable people aren’t afraid to admit their flaws. They understand that everyone has areas they need to work on. Instead of hiding their imperfections, they embrace them, learn from them and use them as stepping stones towards self-improvement.
Admitting our flaws can be difficult and even scary. But it’s a behavior that can increase your likability while fostering trust and respect from others.
7) They show appreciation
Who doesn’t enjoy feeling appreciated? It’s a universal human desire, and genuinely likable people understand this.
They have a habit of expressing gratitude, not only for grand gestures but also for the small acts of kindness that often go unnoticed. A simple ‘thank you’ to the barista who made their coffee, a note of appreciation for a colleague who helped with a project or an acknowledgment of a friend’s thoughtful advice—these are common practices for them.
This habit does two things: it makes people feel valued and reinforces positive behavior.
Adopting this behavior isn’t hard. It’s about being mindful of the efforts of others and taking the time to express your gratitude. And the best part? It not only makes you more likable but also makes others feel great. It’s a win-win!
8) They’re consistent
In the end, what sets genuinely likable people apart is their consistency. They don’t switch up their behavior based on their mood, the day of the week, or the people they’re with.
Their authenticity, positivity, respect for others’ time, empathy, acceptance of their flaws, appreciation for others, and all the other behaviors we’ve discussed are not occasional acts.
Instead, these behaviors are integral parts of who they are. They’re habits that they’ve cultivated and consistently exhibit, no matter the situation.
And that’s the key to being genuinely likable – consistency in your positive behavior. It’s about showing up as your best self, day in and day out. It’s a commitment to personal growth and treating others well at all times.
So if there’s one behavior you should adopt today to increase your likability, let it be consistency. Because when it comes to likability, consistency isn’t just key—it’s everything.
In essence: It’s about being human
At the heart of these eight behaviors lies one common thread – humanity. Genuine likability isn’t about being perfect or ticking off a checklist of behaviors. It’s about embracing our human nature – our capacity for empathy, authenticity, respect, and kindness.
Renowned author and motivational speaker, Simon Sinek once said, “Authenticity is more than speaking; Authenticity is also about doing. Every decision we make says something about who we are.”
When we choose to listen, express gratitude, acknowledge our flaws, or show consistency in our behavior, we’re making a statement about who we are as individuals. Each of these actions is a reflection of our values and our commitment to being the best version of ourselves.
As we strive to adopt these behaviors and become more likable, let’s remember that these are not just actions but expressions of our true self. And perhaps, that’s the most likable trait of all – being genuinely human.
So as you go about your day today, take a moment to reflect on these behaviors. How can you incorporate them into your interactions? How can they guide your decisions? In the end, it’s not just about being liked… it’s about being uniquely you.