It’s tough to be around people who believe that everything happening around them is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them.
It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth.
What people say and do to you is more about them, than you. People’s reactions are usually about their perspectives, wounds and experiences.
Whether they believe you’re the best or the worst, again, is more about them and how they view the world.
Now I’m not suggesting we ignore all the opinions and comments from others. I’m simply saying that incredible amounts of hurt and disappointment come from our tendency to take things personally.
Most of the time, it’s better to let go of people’s opinions about you and not get attached to them.
The most important key to doing so is to:
Watch Your Response
When someone says something about you, what’s your response? You’ll likely feel a quick surge of emotion and jump right into action. You can get angry, sad, or excited and joyful.
However, these quick reactions mean that you’re taking things personally.
You’re not alone. When someone does something we disagree with, we tend to interpret this as a personal attack.
The key to remember is that almost nothing in is personal – things happen, or they don’t, and it’s rarely about anyone specifically.
Most people have emotional issues they are dealing with, which can make them thoughtless and rude.
The best thing to do is to take a mindful response. Take a step back from your quick emotional reaction and observe it.
Understand that you can learn not to interpret their behaviors as personal attacks and instead see them as non-personal encounters that you can either respond to with a peaceful mindset or not at all.
So in the spirit of developing this mindset, there are 7 mantras, courtesy of Marc and Angel, that will help you stop taking everything so personally.
7 Mantras so Stop Taking Things Personally
1) You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.
2)You may not be able to control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.
There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you detach from other people’s beliefs and behaviors.
3) The way people treat you is their problem, how you react is yours.
4) Take constructive criticism seriously, but not personally. Listen, and then operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.
5) You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough. You don’t need other people to validate you – you’re already valuable.
6) If you truly wish to improve your self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, stop allowing other people to be responsible for them. Stop allowing other people to dominate your emotions
7) All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as a baby. And that’s the tragedy of living. So when people are rude, be kind, be mindful, be your best. Give those around you the “break” that you hope the world will give you on your own “bad day” and you will never, ever regret it.
The No-Nonsense Guide to Using Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy for a Better Life
If you haven't already, check out Hack Spirit's most popular eBook: The No-Nonsense Guide to Using Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy for a Better Life.
Within my book you’ll discover the core components of achieving happiness, anywhere at any time through:
- Creating a state of mindfulness throughout the day
- Learning how to meditate
- Fostering healthier relationships
- Healing from pain and trauma
- Unburdening yourself from intrusive negative thoughts
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