7 things you should always keep to yourself, according to Stoic philosophy

Hey there! Lachlan Brown here. I’ve spent years exploring psychology, self-improvement, and mindfulness, and I’m always on the lookout for practical tips that can help us live better lives.

In all my research, I keep coming back to the wisdom of the Stoics. Why? Because their advice is refreshingly down-to-earth and surprisingly relatable—even centuries later.

Today, I want to talk about seven things Stoic philosophy suggests we should keep to ourselves. I’m not saying we should bottle up our feelings or hide who we are. Instead, the Stoics remind us to guard certain parts of ourselves so that we remain in control of our minds and our well-being.

Let’s dive in.

1. Your Unchecked Emotions

It’s tempting to vent every emotion the moment you feel it. Anger. Jealousy. Frustration. We’ve all been there. But let’s be real: venting can sometimes just spread negative energy around. Stoic philosophy teaches us to pause, reflect, and be mindful of what’s going on inside.

Marcus Aurelius said: “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

What that means is, when you feel a strong emotion, you have a choice. You can either let that emotion control you, or you can take a step back, understand it, and respond with clarity.

This doesn’t mean you ignore your emotions forever. Instead, you learn to share them with the right people at the right time—and with the right intention. You won’t regret it.

I used to be the kind of person who’d immediately text a friend when something upset me. But I found that taking a few hours to process my thoughts helped me share a calmer, clearer perspective later on. It also spared me the embarrassment of sending messages I couldn’t take back.

2. Your Deepest Fears

Everyone feels afraid sometimes. Fear is a part of life. Stoicism teaches us to carefully consider our fears, face them honestly, and understand that many are just false alarms set off by our imagination.

Seneca put it like this: “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”

Sometimes talking openly about your fears can be healthy. But constantly broadcasting them—especially before you’ve taken time to understand them—can actually deepen your anxiety.

People around us may feed into our worries, making them seem bigger and scarier. By keeping your deepest fears close to your chest, you give yourself a chance to work through them logically.

A few years back, I was terrified about a new business launch. Instead of telling everyone I knew about my fears, I confided in just one mentor. He helped me realize that half of what I feared was purely in my head. The other half could be handled with careful planning.

Problem solved—and panic avoided.

3. Your Grand Ambitions

Big dreams require care. If you broadcast them too soon, you risk facing unnecessary doubt and skepticism—sometimes from well-intentioned friends who think they’re being “realistic.” Stoics would recommend that you let your work speak for itself.

Epictetus once said: “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”

In other words, plan, prepare, and act without needing validation from everybody else. Let your achievements become the announcement.

Telling the world about your plans before you’ve laid the groundwork can drain your motivation. Why? Because once you get that initial rush of congratulations, it becomes easier to slack off.

Trust me, I’ve been there. When I first came up with the idea for Hack Spirit, I told everyone I knew. And it felt great—until I realized that the excitement of telling people overshadowed the real work I needed to do. Nowadays, I keep quiet until I have something concrete to share.

4. Your Good Deeds

I get it, doing good feels good. And it’s natural to want a pat on the back. But if you’re following the Stoic path, you’ll realize that true virtue doesn’t need applause. Doing the right thing is a reward in itself.

Marcus Aurelius wrote: “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”

The Stoics remind us that the best deeds are done quietly. When you do something kind for someone else, you grow stronger in character. You reinforce your own sense of integrity. No audience required.

When I was younger, I posted online about a charity event I helped organize. Sure, I had good intentions, but I ended up making it more about me than the cause.

Looking back, I wish I’d just contributed silently and let the impact speak for itself. There’s real power in keeping that sense of service personal.

5. Your Personal Judgments of Others

It’s tough not to judge others. We all do it from time to time, whether we realize it or not. But Stoicism tells us that everyone is fighting their own battle, shaped by their own experiences.

So constantly voicing judgments, criticisms, or negative opinions doesn’t help anyone—not them, and definitely not you.

Epictetus advised: “No man is free who is not master of himself.”

When you gossip or openly criticize people, you’re handing over your peace of mind to outside drama. Also, you lose an opportunity to practice self-control.

If something truly bothers you, think it through and approach the situation privately, if needed, in a respectful manner.

I remember once complaining about a colleague to another coworker. Later, I found out that colleague was going through a tough time at home.

My comments weren’t just insensitive—they were unnecessary. I realized I’d only stirred up negativity without helping the situation at all.

6. Your Material Possessions

The world loves to show off. Nice cars. Fancy clothes. Flashy gadgets. But the Stoics remind us that material items can become chains if we’re not careful.

The more we advertise our possessions, the more we tie our worth to them.

Marcus Aurelius wrote in his ‘Meditations’: “Look well into yourself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if you will always look.”

Your true value isn’t in your watch or your bank account. It’s in your character, your choices, and your ability to remain centered amidst life’s ups and downs.

When you keep your material successes private, you preserve your freedom to define yourself on your own terms.

I’ve found that some of the most content people I know almost never talk about the stuff they own. They have their nice things, sure, but they don’t let these items define them. And you know what? That’s real wealth—having enough without needing to flaunt it.

7. Your Inner Sense of Self-Worth

This is a tricky one. Your self-worth isn’t something you necessarily tell people about—but you can definitely show it by seeking constant praise.

We’ve all craved a little outside validation now and then. But Stoics believe that true self-esteem comes from within.

Seneca said: “It does not matter what you bear, but how you bear it.”

How you bear life’s challenges reveals your sense of self. If you’re always fishing for compliments or seeking others’ approval, you give away control of your worth. Instead, ground yourself in your principles. Live with integrity, and let that be the measure of your value.

When I first started blogging, I obsessed over the number of likes and shares. Did it feel good when a post went viral? Of course.

But over time, I realized I was losing touch with why I was writing in the first place: to explore ideas and help people.

Once I stopped caring so much about external feedback, my writing became more authentic—and ironically, more people connected with it.

Embracing Stoic Wisdom in Everyday Life

Stoicism isn’t about bottling everything up until you explode. It’s about being thoughtful about what you share and when you share it.

By keeping these seven things (your unchecked emotions, deepest fears, grand ambitions, good deeds, personal judgments, material possessions, and self-worth) within a respectful boundary, you protect your inner peace.

In my own journey, I’ve found that the less I rely on external validation, the more confident I become. The more I take time to process my emotions, the less drama I create for myself and others.

The Stoics understood that true freedom and strength come from self-mastery—knowing who you are and what you value, without needing the entire world’s input.

So here’s my challenge to you: take a moment to reflect on which of these seven areas feels most challenging. Is it your ambition? Maybe your emotions? Experiment with keeping these parts of you more private. Notice how it affects your mindset and relationships. Chances are, you’ll discover a new sense of control and calm.

Stoic philosophy is a guide, not a rulebook. Take the insights that resonate with you, and adapt them to your life. Keep in mind that the goal isn’t to become an emotionless robot. It’s to live in a way that’s true to yourself—without being pulled in a thousand directions by everyone else’s opinions.

And remember what Marcus Aurelius said: you have the power over your mind. That’s huge. It means you can choose to guard your inner world and share it wisely. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth the effort.

Thanks for reading, and here’s to a life lived with intention and inner peace. If you found this helpful, feel free to share it with someone who might benefit. But don’t forget—some things are best kept to yourself.

Stay mindful and stay true.