Eliza Hartley
Have you ever wondered why some people seem genuinely happy no matter what life throws their way, while others struggle to find even a moment of joy?
It’s not just about luck or circumstances—science suggests it’s more about the choices we make and the habits we build.
In fact, psychology has uncovered fascinating insights into the specific things happy people do differently.
I’ll admit, there were times in my life when I thought happiness was something that just happened to you. But as I dug deeper into the research, I realized it’s more about what you do—and don’t do—that shapes your emotional well-being.
So, let’s explore seven game-changing habits that separate the happy from the unhappy, and who knows, you might just discover a new approach to living a more fulfilling life.
1) Happy people practice gratitude
The field of positive psychology has made it clear, practicing gratitude plays a key role in happiness.
Unlike their unhappy counterparts, happy people tend to actively appreciate what they have, rather than dwelling on what they lack.
This isn’t about being blindly optimistic, but about acknowledging the good in our lives. It’s about savoring the small joys and looking for the silver lining even in the toughest situations.
Research in psychology shows that individuals who take a moment each day to reflect on what they are thankful for report greater levels of happiness and well-being.
If you want to tip the scales toward happiness, start by counting your blessings instead of your worries. After all, as the saying goes, “Life isn’t about having what you want, but wanting what you have.”
2) They embrace failure
I can’t stress this enough. Happy people see failure differently. They view it not as a dead-end, but as an opportunity for growth and learning.
I remember when I was just starting out in my career, fresh out of college and eager to make my mark. I was assigned a crucial project, and despite all my efforts, it didn’t pan out as expected. I felt crushed.
However, I realized that brooding over the failure was getting me nowhere. Instead, I decided to analyze what went wrong and how I could improve. This change in perspective helped me to learn valuable lessons that have guided me ever since.
Happy people, in my experience, embrace such failures. They understand that to fail is human, and what matters more is how we react to these failures.
It’s all about finding the lesson amidst the disappointment and using it as a stepping stone to move forward.
This might seem tough at first, but once you start viewing failure as an opportunity instead of a setback, you’ll find your happiness levels rising.
3) They focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems
Following on from that, embracing failure can only be possible if you shift your mindset from seeing it as a dead end to viewing it as a stepping stone, as I mentioned earlier.
Happy people understand that problems are inevitable, but getting stuck in them is optional.
Instead of ruminating on what went wrong, they channel their energy into figuring out what can be done next.
This proactive approach not only helps them overcome obstacles but also builds resilience over time. When you focus on solutions, you take back control and create opportunities for growth, even in the face of setbacks.
It’s not about ignoring problems; it’s about refusing to let them define your narrative.
As researcher and author Thomas S. Bateman writes, “Proaction is a personal choice, not dictated by external factors.”
4) They practice mindfulness
Another thing I’ve noticed in happy people is that they are truly present in the moment. They don’t dwell on the past or fret about the future. Instead, they practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness is the art of focusing your attention on the present moment. It’s about fully engaging with what’s happening right now, and not getting lost in thoughts about what might have been or what could be.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Mindfulness sounds great, but how do I actually do it?
Well, I’m glad you asked. In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”, I break down the concept of mindfulness into practical steps that anyone can follow.
I delve into techniques to help you stay focused on the present, and share personal anecdotes about how mindfulness has helped me in my own journey towards happiness.
Happy people understand that happiness isn’t something that’s just going to happen in the future. It’s something to be found right here, right now, in this very moment. And mindfulness is an incredibly powerful tool to help you do just that.
5) They embrace solitude
This one might surprise you. In a world that’s more connected than ever, the idea of solitude might seem counter-intuitive.
But here’s what research has found — happy people truly value their alone time.
You see, solitude allows us to reconnect with ourselves, to reflect, and to recharge. It’s a time for introspection, for understanding our thoughts and feelings without the noise of the outside world.
Happy people understand that it’s okay to take a step back from social engagements and spend time alone. This is not about isolation or loneliness, but about embracing the quiet moments where we can simply be with ourselves.
So don’t shy away from solitude. Embrace it. You might just find that it’s one of your happiest places.
6) They practice kindness without expecting anything in return
Kindness is a trait that is often underestimated, but it’s a common characteristic among happy people. They understand that treating others with kindness and respect doesn’t just make others feel good, it makes them feel good too.
Psychology tells us that acts of kindness release a hormone called oxytocin, which has a number of benefits like lowering blood pressure and increasing our self-esteem and optimism.
In other words, being kind makes us happier.
And kindness doesn’t have to be grand gestures. It could be as simple as smiling at a stranger, helping a neighbour with their groceries or just listening to a friend who’s had a tough day.
Remember, every act of kindness creates a ripple with no logical end. So, start creating your ripples and watch your happiness levels soar.
This brings me to the next point…
7) They prioritize relationships above all
What, above all, makes a life happy and meaningful?
For happy people, the answer is clear: relationships.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study on happiness spanning over 80 years, found that the quality of our relationships is the single most significant predictor of happiness and overall health. Those with strong social bonds not only reported greater life satisfaction but also lived longer, healthier lives.
True enough, happy people prioritize relationships, making a conscious effort to cherish and strengthen them. They know that at the end of the day, it’s the people we share our lives with who bring the most meaning and joy.
So take time to nurture your relationships. Reach out to a friend, spend quality time with your family, or simply engage in a heartfelt conversation with a loved one. It’s these connections that truly lead to happiness.
Final thought: Happiness is a journey
When it comes to happiness, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It’s a personal journey, and what works for one person might not work for another.
But if we delve deeper into the psychology of happiness, we find that it often boils down to our habits and perspectives.
Happy people have a way of dealing with life that sets them apart. They practice gratitude, embrace failure, prioritize relationships, enjoy solitude, are kind, cultivate resilience, and most importantly, they are mindful of the present moment.
Speaking of mindfulness, I discuss this in greater detail in my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”. Here, I provide practical strategies and personal insights to help you harness the power of mindfulness.
So as you reflect on these seven habits of happy people, remember that change isn’t going to happen overnight.
Start small. Pick one habit and work on incorporating it into your life. Over time, these small changes can make a big difference in your overall sense of well-being.
Because at the end of the day, happiness is a choice we make for ourselves. So choose wisely.
