7 things a “nice” narcissist will do when they realize they can’t manipulate you

Being a “nice” narcissist might sound like an oxymoron, but trust me, they exist. And they can be just as challenging to deal with as any other kind.

The difference lies in their method. Rather than blatant manipulation, they use subtler tactics. But what happens when they can’t manipulate you anymore?

It’s a fascinating shift to observe. These narcissists will resort to different strategies when they realize their usual tricks aren’t working.

In this piece, we’ll delve into the seven things a “nice” narcissist will do when they realize they can’t manipulate you. 

Let’s get started. 

1) They play the victim

A “nice” narcissist thrives on being the center of attention, and when they can’t manipulate you, they may pull out all the stops to regain that focus.

One of these tactics is playing the victim.

Suddenly, they’re the ones who are misunderstood, or they’re dealing with a plethora of issues that they just have to share. It’s a twist designed to make you feel guilty or feel sorry for them.

Playing the victim allows them to shift the balance of power and regain control. They want empathy and attention, and this is their way of getting it.

It’s crucial to remember that it’s just a tactic. Don’t let them reel you back into their sphere of influence with their sob stories. You’re stronger than their manipulative tactics.

2) They become more charming

I’ve experienced this firsthand. When a “nice” narcissist I knew realized they couldn’t manipulate me, their charm went into overdrive.

It was almost as if they were trying to win me over again, showering me with compliments and acting exceedingly considerate. It was like they had flipped a switch, transforming from the person I had been butting heads with into someone completely different.

But underneath that charm, their intentions were still the same – to regain control and influence. The reality is, their charm offensive was just another well-crafted manipulation tactic.

When it comes to a narcissist’s charm, it’s essential to look beyond face value. Don’t let their flattery cloud your judgment or sway your decisions.

3) They resort to gaslighting

Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic where the narcissist makes you question your own reality and sanity. This term traces its origins back to a 1938 play, “Gas Light,” where a husband tricks his wife into believing she’s losing her mind.

When a “nice” narcissist can’t manipulate you directly, they may resort to gaslighting. They might start denying things they’ve said or done, make you doubt your memories, or even accuse you of lying.

This is a powerful and sinister strategy that can leave you feeling confused and disoriented. It’s important to stay grounded in your own reality and not let their distortions shake your trust in yourself.

4) They give you the silent treatment

When manipulation fails, a “nice” narcissist may resort to the silent treatment. Instead of engaging with you, they might ignore you altogether. This can be incredibly frustrating and confusing, especially if you don’t understand why it’s happening.

The silent treatment is a way for them to regain control. They’re essentially saying, “If I can’t manipulate you, then I won’t interact with you at all.” It’s a form of punishment designed to make you feel guilty and question your actions.

This is another manipulation tactic. Don’t let it make you second-guess yourself or feel like you’ve done something wrong. You have the right to stand up for yourself and set boundaries.

5) They suddenly become generous

I remember a time when a “nice” narcissist in my life couldn’t manipulate me the way they used to. The change was subtle at first, with them suddenly becoming incredibly generous.

Gifts started appearing out of nowhere, and they became more accommodating, always ready to lend a helping hand. It felt nice and even made me question if I had misjudged them.

But over time, I realized this generosity had strings attached. It was their way of subtly regaining control, creating a sense of obligation. They were not being kind; they were buying influence.

It’s essential to remember that genuine generosity doesn’t come with expectations. Don’t let the sudden acts of kindness cloud your judgment or make you feel indebted.

6) They try to make you jealous

When a “nice” narcissist can’t manipulate you, they might try to make you jealous. They could start spending more time with other people, flaunting their new relationships or successes, or talking about how others admire them.

This is another attempt to regain control. By making you feel jealous, they hope to make you feel insecure and in turn, more susceptible to their influence.

Don’t let their tactics shake your self-esteem. Recognize it for what it is – a manipulation tactic. Remember, your worth is not dependent on their opinion or attention.

7) They might resort to personal attacks

When all else fails, a “nice” narcissist may resort to personal attacks. They’ll criticize your appearance, your decisions, your character – anything to make you feel small and vulnerable.

This is their last-ditch effort to regain control. They aim to shatter your self-esteem, hoping it will make you more susceptible to their manipulation.

But remember this – their words are a reflection of their character, not yours. You are not the person they’re trying to paint you as. Stand firm in your truth and don’t let their harsh words break you.

Final thought: It’s about self-respect

Navigating the world of a “nice” narcissist can be challenging and emotionally draining. But it’s important to remember that their actions are a reflection of them, not you.

Their manipulative tactics are designed to regain control and feed their ego, and they will go to great lengths to achieve this. But at the end of the day, you have control over your own actions and reactions.

Remember, self-respect comes from recognizing your worth and setting firm boundaries. No matter the tactics employed by a narcissist, standing firm in your truth is vital.

You are not defined by their words or actions. You have the power to resist their manipulation and maintain your self-esteem.

So the next time you encounter a “nice” narcissist trying to manipulate you, remember these seven signs. Recognize them for what they are, stand firm in your truth, and protect your self-worth.