7 things a manipulator will do when they realize you’ve stopped caring, according to psychology

Manipulation is a tricky game. It’s all about control and getting others to bend to your will, often without them even realizing it. But what happens when you stop caring? When the manipulator’s puppet strings no longer hold any sway?

According to psychology, a manipulator will react in certain ways when they sense their influence waning. They have their own set of tactics and it’s crucial to stay aware of these.

In this article, we’re diving into 7 things a manipulator will do when they realize you’ve stopped caring. This isn’t about fear-mongering, it’s about understanding the signs and protecting yourself.

Let’s get started.

1) They’ll ramp up their efforts

When a manipulator senses that they’re losing their grip, their first instinct is often to double down.

Psychologists refer to this as “extinction burst”. It’s a term originating from the field of behavioral psychology and it refers to the phenomenon where someone intensifies their efforts when they realize their current actions are no longer producing the desired results.

In the context of manipulation, this could mean increasing the frequency and intensity of their controlling behaviors. They might become more demanding, throw tantrums, or increase their use of guilt and blame.

2) They’ll play the victim

Oh, how well I remember this one. When I started to pull away from a manipulative person in my life, suddenly, they were the ones being wronged.

According to psychology, when manipulators feel their control slipping away, they often resort to playing the victim. It’s a classic move in their playbook.

In my case, this person would weave elaborate tales of how they were suffering because of my actions. My attempts to establish boundaries were spun into stories of me being unkind and uncaring.

The goal here is to make you feel guilty and question your decision to distance yourself. It’s important to remember that everyone is responsible for their own feelings and reactions. And you’re not responsible for theirs.

3) They’ll resort to character assassination

When manipulators sense that their influence is dwindling, they might resort to attacking your character. This often involves spreading rumors or gossiping about you to mutual friends or colleagues.

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that gossiping is a common strategy used by individuals to manipulate their social environment and gain personal advantage.

Manipulators use this tactic to discredit you and make others less likely to believe your side of the story. It’s a way of isolating you and making it harder for you to find support. 

4) They’ll try to make you jealous

Another common tactic manipulators use when they realize you’ve stopped caring is trying to provoke feelings of jealousy. They may start flaunting new relationships or successes in an attempt to make you feel like you’re missing out.

This is a psychological ploy aimed at drawing you back in by creating a sense of competition or fear of loss. They want to trigger your insecurities and make you second-guess your decision to distance yourself.

Stay aware of this tactic, and remember – their actions are not a reflection of your worth. They’re just another manipulation strategy.

5) They’ll start love bombing

When the silent treatment didn’t work and the jealousy card failed, I was suddenly flooded with affection and attention. This is what psychologists often refer to as “love bombing”.

Love bombing is when a manipulator showers you with excessive affection, praise, and attention in order to win back your favor. It’s a manipulative tactic often found in abusive relationships, where it’s used to maintain control.

In my case, it was overwhelming and confusing. But understanding what was happening helped me stay strong in my decision to distance myself. Always remember, genuine affection doesn’t come with strings attached.

6) They’ll try to negotiate and make promises

Another trick up the manipulator’s sleeve when they notice you pulling away is to start making promises or trying to negotiate with you. They may promise to change their behavior, often making grandiose claims about how things will be different this time.

This is a tactic designed to make you second-guess your decision and give them another chance. But remember, actions speak louder than words. Be wary of empty promises and look for consistent, long-term changes in their behavior instead.

7) They’ll resort to threats and intimidation

When all else fails, a manipulator may resort to threats or intimidation. This can be as subtle as veiled threats or as overt as outright aggression. Their aim is to regain control through fear.

This is the most dangerous stage of manipulation and it’s crucial to prioritize your safety. Don’t hesitate to seek help if you feel threatened. It’s important to remember that no one has the right to intimidate or threaten you, and this behavior is unacceptable.

Final thoughts: It’s about reclaiming your power

The complex dance of manipulation and control is deeply rooted in our human psychology. It’s an unfortunate reality that some individuals use these tactics to maintain control and assert their dominance.

Understanding these seven behaviors is not just about recognizing the manipulator’s tactics. It’s about reclaiming your power, establishing firm boundaries, and advocating for your own emotional health.

Remember, it’s not about the manipulator, it’s about you. You have the strength to resist their tactics, the resilience to recover from their influence, and the wisdom to seek help when necessary.

Whether you’ve experienced manipulation in the past or are currently navigating a difficult situation, knowledge is power. Keep these points in mind, trust your instincts, and never underestimate your ability to regain control of your life.