Lachlan Brown
Ever wondered why you’re not hitting it off with others, despite your best efforts?
Often, it’s the small, unconscious behaviors that turn people away. These are the little things we do, unbeknownst to us, that can make us less likable in the eyes of others.
And believe me, as I learnt from psychology, it’s not always about what you say. It’s about what you do.
Psychology has some insights into these behaviors that you may not even realize you’re doing. And I’m here to share with you these 7 small behaviors that may be making others dislike you.
Let’s dive into it and identify these inadvertent habits so we can work on making those first impressions count!
1) Constantly interrupting others
We all know the importance of good communication. But did you know that how you communicate can make or break your likability?
One subtle behavior that can make others dislike you is constantly interrupting them while they’re speaking. It’s an unconscious habit many of us have, and it’s not often well-received.
According to psychology, when we interrupt others, we’re essentially indicating that our thoughts and ideas are more important than theirs. And let’s be honest, nobody likes feeling unheard or undervalued.
Often, we don’t even realize we’re doing it. We might just be excited about the conversation or eager to share our thoughts. But regardless of the intention, it can come off as disrespectful and self-centered.
2) Being glued to your phone
Technology is a big part of our lives, and I confess, I’ve had my fair share of being too attached to my phone.
There was a time when a friend pointed out that I tended to pull out my phone during our meet-ups. Even though I thought I was still engaged in the conversation, she felt that I wasn’t fully present. It was a wake-up call.
According to psychology, this behavior—called “phubbing” or phone snubbing—can be quite off-putting. It sends a message that we’re more interested in our virtual interactions than the real ones happening right in front of us.
Trust me, it’s an easy habit to fall into. But it’s also one you can break.
After my friend’s feedback, I started consciously leaving my phone in my bag during social interactions. It made a difference not just in how others perceived me, but also in the quality of my interactions.
3) Negative body language
Body language is a powerful tool. It communicates our thoughts and feelings even when we’re silent. One such behavior that may be turning people away is negative body language.
Crossed arms, lack of eye contact, and slouching can all indicate disinterest, discomfort, or even hostility. Psychologically, these non-verbal cues can make us seem less approachable and likable.
In contrast, open body language like maintaining eye contact, nodding in agreement, and leaning in during conversations can make us seem more friendly and engaging.
Interestingly, research has shown that people can accurately decode our emotions through our body language, even in the absence of verbal cues.
So the next time you’re talking to someone, pay attention to your body language. You might be sending messages you didn’t intend to!
4) Not acknowledging others
We all like to feel seen and acknowledged, don’t we? It’s a basic human need. But sometimes, without even realizing it, we fail to acknowledge others.
This could be as simple as not greeting someone when you enter a room, failing to return a smile or even forgetting to thank someone for their help.
According to psychology, these small oversights can make a huge impact on how people perceive us. By not acknowledging others, we risk coming across as rude or standoffish.
Even if you’re rushed or preoccupied, taking a moment to acknowledge someone can go a long way in establishing positive relationships. After all, everyone appreciates being noticed and valued.
Give it a try. A nod, a smile, a simple ‘hello’ – these small gestures can make you more likable and approachable in the eyes of others.
5) Constant complaining
In my life, I’ve been through ups and downs. There was a period when I found myself constantly complaining about everything, from traffic to work stress. I thought I was just venting, but what I didn’t realize was how this behavior was affecting my relationships.
Constant complaining can be a serious turn-off. It creates a negative atmosphere and can drain the energy out of any interaction.
Psychology explains that people are naturally drawn to those who emanate positivity. When we’re constantly surrounded by negativity, it can be emotionally exhausting.
I learned the hard way that constant complaining wasn’t doing me any favors. So I decided to shift my focus from what was wrong to what was right, making an effort to express gratitude more often.
The change was remarkable. Not only did my relationships improve, but I found that looking on the bright side made me a happier and more likable person overall.
6) Being overly competitive
Competition can be healthy. It can push us to improve and achieve our goals. But when it starts to permeate every interaction, it can become off-putting.
From always having to be right in a discussion to turning casual activities into competitions, being overly competitive is a behavior that can make you less likable.
Psychology tells us that this constant need to win can make others feel inferior or undervalued, leading them to avoid interactions with you altogether.
It’s important to understand that not every situation calls for competition. Sometimes, cooperation and camaraderie are more valued and appreciated.
When you find yourself turning everything into a competition, take a step back. There’s a time and place for everything, and not every situation is a race to the finish line.
7) Lack of empathy
At the heart of all human interactions lies empathy. The ability to understand and share the feelings of others is a crucial element in building likable and enduring relationships.
When we lack empathy, it can come across as if we’re disconnected or uninterested in the experiences of those around us. This can make us seem cold, self-centered, and ultimately unlikable.
People are drawn to those who show understanding and compassion. By practicing empathy, not only will you become more likable, but you’ll also foster deeper and more meaningful connections with those around you.
Final thoughts: It’s all about perception
The complexities of human interactions are deeply intertwined with our perceptions. How we perceive others and how they perceive us can shape our relationships in profound ways.
One of the key factors influencing these perceptions is our behavior. The small, unconscious habits we’ve discussed can greatly affect how likable we appear to others.
But it’s not about changing who you are. It’s about becoming more aware of your actions and understanding how they might be interpreted by others.
Whether it’s interrupting less, keeping your phone away during conversations, or showing more empathy, these small shifts can make a big difference in your social interactions.
So take a moment and reflect. You might find that by tweaking some of these behaviors, you can improve not only how others perceive you, but also the quality of your relationships overall.
Because at the end of the day, being likable isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being understanding, respectful and authentic in your interactions with others.
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