7 signs you’re a surprisingly difficult person to get along with, according to psychology

There’s a thin line between being assertive and being difficult.

It’s one thing to stand your ground and voice your opinions, but it’s an entirely different ball game when people find you hard to be around.

Being difficult can often go unnoticed by the person showcasing such behavior. This is where psychology steps in, shedding light on signs that you might be more of a challenge to get along with than you think.

Let’s dive in and see if you recognize some of these traits in yourself.

1) Constantly seeking validation

Psychology points to an incessant need for validation as a sign of being difficult to get along with.

If you find yourself continually seeking approval or looking for praise from others, you might be more challenging than you realize. This constant need for recognition can be exhausting for those around you, making it difficult for them to maintain a relationship with you.

This behavior stems from insecurity and a lack of self-confidence. It’s not only draining for others but also harmful to your own self-esteem.

The need for validation often leads to excessive people-pleasing, which can further complicate relationships. It’s important to remember that your worth isn’t determined by others’ opinions.

If this sounds like you, it may be time for some self-reflection and possibly seeking help from a professional.

2) Difficulty in accepting criticism

One trait I’ve noticed in myself, and that psychology backs up as a sign of being difficult to get along with, is having a hard time accepting criticism.

There was a time when any form of criticism, even constructive, would hit me hard. I would take it personally and react defensively. This, I later realized, didn’t make me the easiest person to interact with.

Over time, I understood that feedback is essential for personal growth. I had to train myself to see criticism as an opportunity for improvement rather than as an attack.

If you find yourself unable to handle criticism or feedback without getting defensive or upset, it could be a sign that you’re more difficult to get along with than you think. It’s important to understand that criticism isn’t always negative. Often, it’s just an opportunity to grow and improve.

3) Dominating conversations

In conversations, it’s important to strike a balance between talking and listening. However, some people tend to dominate conversations, leaving little room for others to speak.

According to research, individuals who constantly talk about themselves and seldom give others a chance to express their views are perceived as difficult to get along with. They often lack empathy and make interactions one-sided.

Listening is as important as speaking in a conversation. It shows respect for other people’s opinions and encourages a more open and balanced exchange of ideas. If you find yourself guilty of dominating conversations, it might be time to step back and make space for others’ voices.

4) Unwillingness to compromise

Compromise is a fundamental part of any healthy relationship, whether it’s personal or professional. If you find it hard to meet in the middle and often insist on having your way, this could be a sign that you’re difficult to get along with.

Being inflexible and unwilling to compromise can make interactions with you challenging for others. It could also signal to them that their feelings or opinions are not valued, which can cause strain in relationships.

Compromise doesn’t mean giving up on your stand but rather working together towards a solution that respects everyone’s viewpoints. If you’re consistently uncompromising, it might be worth examining why and working on becoming more open to other perspectives.

5) Struggling with empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a crucial trait for harmonious relationships. I’ll admit, there was a time when I struggled with this.

I would often get so caught up in my own world and problems that I failed to consider the feelings and experiences of those around me. This lack of empathy made it hard for people to connect with me on a deeper level.

It took some conscious effort and understanding to realize that empathy isn’t just about sympathizing with someone’s situation, but truly trying to understand their perspective.

If you find yourself having a hard time empathizing with others, it might make you more difficult to get along with than you realize. Building your capacity for empathy can significantly improve your relationships and interactions with others.

6) Being overly critical

Being critical is a natural part of human nature. However, when it becomes excessive, it can be a sign that you’re difficult to get along with.

If you often find faults in others and are quick to point them out, it can make people feel judged and uncomfortable around you. This can strain relationships, leading to feelings of resentment and defensiveness.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Constructive criticism is helpful, but constantly focusing on someone’s flaws without acknowledging their strengths can be hurtful and damaging.

If you’re prone to being overly critical, it might be worth considering how your words impact others and practicing more kindness and understanding.

7) Inability to apologize

One of the strongest indicators that you may be difficult to get along with is an inability to apologize. Owning up to our mistakes and saying sorry is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of emotional maturity and strength.

When we refuse to apologize, it can make others feel dismissed and undervalued. It can also lead to unresolved conflicts and resentment.

Recognizing our faults and apologizing when we’re wrong is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. It shows respect for the other person’s feelings and a willingness to make things right.

If you find it hard to say sorry, it’s something you need to address. It’s not just about uttering the words, but genuinely understanding your mistakes and making a conscious effort not to repeat them.