7 rare qualities of a truly good man, according to psychology

What truly makes a man “good”?

In our society, it’s easy to get caught up in surface-level attributes like looks, wealth, or power. But, according to psychology, there’s a lot more to it than that.

Here’s the truth: a truly good man possesses a set of rare qualities that go far beyond the superficial. And trust me, these traits are not what you might expect.

In this piece, we’ll explore these seven unique characteristics that set a genuinely good man apart. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Emotional intelligence

What’s the one trait that truly separates a good man from the rest? Emotional intelligence.

Believe it or not, this isn’t just some fancy term psychologists came up with. It’s a genuine quality that has been backed by years of psychological research.

Emotional intelligence is about understanding your own emotions, as well as those of others. It’s about empathizing, managing emotions, and using them to guide your actions.

A truly good man knows that it’s not about being stoic or hiding feelings. Instead, it’s about acknowledging emotions and dealing with them in a healthy, productive way.

This isn’t easy. It takes a lot of self-awareness and maturity. But it’s a critical trait of a genuinely good man. And if you encounter someone who possesses it, well, you’ve found someone special.

2) Integrity

I’ll tell you a story about a man I know, let’s call him John.

John was the kind of person who always seemed to do the right thing, even when no one was watching. He was my boss at my first job out of college, and his integrity was something that truly impressed me.

One day, we were working on a project that had a tight deadline. We discovered an error that would require us to start over. It would mean missing the deadline and potentially losing the client.

John had a choice. He could have swept the error under the rug and delivered a flawed product, or he could be honest with the client, risk losing them, but maintain his integrity.

He chose the latter. He owned up to the mistake, apologized, and proposed a new timeline.

His actions made a huge impact on me. The client appreciated his honesty and decided to stick with us. And more than that, John taught me a valuable lesson about the importance of integrity.

3) Selflessness

In an age of instant gratification and self-centeredness, the trait of selflessness can seem like a rarity. But it’s a trait that holds immense value, and it’s a mark of a truly good man.

Selflessness is all about putting others’ needs before your own. A man who is selfless doesn’t just think about his own wants and needs, but also considers and respects the feelings and needs of those around him.

Now, here’s something you might not know. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that those who practice selflessness are often happier and more satisfied with their lives. So, not only does being selfless benefit others, but it also benefits the person practicing it.

A truly good man understands this. He knows that his happiness is intertwined with the happiness of others, and he is willing to make sacrifices for the greater good.

4) Respectful

Respect is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and a truly good man understands this. He knows that respect isn’t just about treating others the way he wants to be treated, but about acknowledging and appreciating the inherent worth and dignity of every individual.

A respectful man doesn’t belittle others or dismiss their feelings. He listens intently, values differing opinions, and never resorts to derogatory language or actions.

This quality extends beyond his personal relationships. A genuinely good man respects all people, regardless of their gender, race, religion, or societal status. He understands that everyone has a unique story and perspective, and he values those differences.

In a world that often feels divided and judgemental, a man who truly respects others stands out as a beacon of kindness and understanding.

5) Patience

I remember a time when I was struggling with a personal issue that was affecting my performance at work. I was worried, stressed, and my productivity was at an all-time low.

My team leader at the time, a man I greatly admired, didn’t react with frustration or anger. Instead, he showed a level of patience that still surprises me to this day.

He sat me down, listened to my problems without interrupting, and gave me the time and space I needed to find a solution. He understood that everyone goes through tough times and that patience, not pressure, was what I needed most at that moment.

His patience helped me navigate through my difficulties and taught me a valuable lesson. A truly good man knows that patience is more than just an ability to wait; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.

6) Honesty

Honesty is a quality that’s often taken for granted, but it’s a crucial element of a truly good man. An honest man doesn’t shy away from the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable or inconvenient.

Honesty goes beyond just telling the truth. It’s about being genuine and authentic, not pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about owning up to your mistakes and taking responsibility for your actions.

In a world where so many people put on a facade, a man who is honest and transparent is a breath of fresh air. He sets a powerful example for others to follow and earns trust through his actions, not just his words.

A truly good man understands that honesty isn’t always the easiest path, but it’s always the right one.

7) Humility

Humility, often misunderstood as a sign of weakness, is in fact a mark of great strength. A truly good man knows this. He doesn’t need to boast about his achievements or belittle others to feel worthy.

A humble man acknowledges his mistakes and understands that he’s always learning. He appreciates the contributions of others and doesn’t hesitate to give credit where it’s due.

But here’s the most important thing – a humble man knows his worth. He doesn’t derive his value from external validation, but from an inner belief in himself and his abilities.

Humility isn’t about thinking less of oneself, but thinking about oneself less. And that’s the mark of a truly good man.