A relationship sometimes takes a lot more work than the movies prepare us for.
There’s so much more than just the honeymoon phase; the majority of a relationship is spent trying to live your life with another person, which isn’t always easy.
But we love the partner we choose, which is why we stick with them for the good times and the bad.
At Hack Spirit we believe the best way to stick with your partner is through love and understanding. (That was the main point in our ultimate guide on how to build a successful long-term relationship that we published recently).
When the love starts to get old and passionless, it’s time to reconnect, to bond with each other again at the most intimate levels.
There are many ways to do this: a romantic vacation, fun experiences, a shared success story.
But one simple way to reconnect with your partner is with a simple, deep, and honest conversation. To do this, ask them deep questions.
Here are 65 deep questions to ask a guy or girl that will immediately bring you closer together:
1) What were your first thoughts when we met?
2) How much do you value me?
3) What do you dream about when it comes to our future?
4) What is the one rule you have for yourself that you will never break?
5) What has stayed the same in this relationship since the beginning?
6) Who is more loving between us?
7) What do you contribute to the relationship the most?
8) What would you alter about our partnership?
9) What loving thing do I do that you like the most?
10) What is your best characteristic?
11) Am I your soulmate? Why?
12) What secret haven’t you told me yet?
13) What is our funniest memory together?
14) When were you most open with me during this partnership?
15) If we break up tomorrow, what would you miss the most?
16) What characteristic of mine is your favorite?
17) What have you always wanted to ask me?
18) If I had to move to another country, would you be willing to wait, or would we break up?
19) What shared memory do you love more than all others?
20) Does love frighten you?
21) What frightens you most when it comes to love?
22) Which similarity do we both share that you can’t get enough of?
23) Which difference do we both share that you can’t get enough of?
24) Do you think destiny is real?
25) What are you scared about with our relationship?
26) What single word would you choose to best describe our partnership?
27) What single word would you choose to best describe our love?
28) What part of this relationship makes you happiest?
29) How much do you value this relationship?
30) How much do you value love?
31) How are we compatible?
32) What do you want me to do more?
33) How much have we changed since our first date?
34) What could you best improve in this relationship?
35) If you could get a free roundtrip ticket with me to anywhere right now, where would it be?
36) How is our relationship special compared to others?
37) How do you like to show your love?
38) Would you want to have an open relationship?
39) Are soulmates real?
40) What thing do I hate about myself that you love?
41) Have I been sensitive and open in our relationship?
42) Have you been open with me as a partner?
43) What physical aspect of me do you love most?
44) What could our relationship be better at?
45) Where is your favorite spot with me?
46) What do you want to do with me that we have never tried together?
47) Why did you fall in love with me?
48) Are we “born” to meet our “other half”?
49) Did you think this relationship would be short or long when we started?
50) What is your most vivid memory of the first time we met?
51) What’s the best lesson you learned from your parents?
52) How have your priorities changed over time?
53) Would you rather be crazy rich, or deeply in love?
54) What obstacles are currently trying to overcome?
55) What memory instantly makes you smile?
56) Do you believe in true love?
57) What’s something you enjoy doing that you never get tired of?
58) What do you think about most often?
59) What happened in the last dream you remember?
60) When was the last time you really pushed yourself to your physical limits?
61) What’s the thing you most want to achieve when you die?
62) Who is your hero? What qualities make them your choice?
63) What’s the most important value you would teach a young person?
64) What’s the one thing that should be taught, but isn’t?
65) Is there anything you’re ashamed of in the past?
Try asking your partner at least some of these deep questions. You may be surprised to discover that the conversation you start will be meaningful and intimate.
Most importantly, it will also help elevate your relationship to another level.
Have you recently broken up with someone? Struggling to get over them and move on? If so, check out Hack Spirit’s latest eBook: The Art of Breaking Up: A Practical Guide to Letting Go of Someone You Loved. You’ll learn how to accept yourself, your feelings and the breakup, and ultimately move forward with a life full of joy and meaning. Check it out here.
38 deep questions to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend if you want them to bare their soul
66) What’s something you believe to be true that no one else around you believes is true?
67) What’s your greatest fear?
68) How do you calm yourself down? Any tools or techniques?
69) What’s your favorite music? How does it make you feel?
70) What do you read about on a daily basis?
71) What’s the most emotional scene you’ve ever seen in a movie?
72) Do you like to be alone? What do you like to do when you’re alone?
73) When do you feel most alive? Tell me everything about it.
74) What do you choose to ignore because it’s too difficult to bare?
75) Have you ever felt like a complete and utter failure?
76) What kinds of people do you enjoy most being around?
77) Do you feel like you’re living life to the fullest? If not, why?
78) Do you think religion has been bad or good for the world?
79) What’s the biggest secret you’ve ever kept from somebody?
80) Do you think you’re a spiritual person?
81) What issue in politics or society is most important to you?
82) What does love mean to you?
83) Have you had your heart broken? Tell me everything.
84) Have you ever cried tears of joy?
85) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
86) What has been the biggest change in your life that you’ve been most proud of?
87) What do you do for the people you love the most in life?
88) What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word “home”?
89) If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?
90) If you travel back in time for one day, what year would you go to and why?
91) What do you usually dream about?
92) Do you believe in fate?
93) Do you believe that there is more to reality than what we see with our eyes?
94) Do you think that the universe is ultimately meaningless? Or does it have a purpose?
95) If you could eradicate pain from your life, would you?
96) Do you believe in marriage?
97) Do you think anything happens after death?
98) If you could be given the date of your death, would you want to know?
99) Would you like to be immortal?
100) Would you rather be loved or love?
101) What does beauty mean to you?
102) Where do you think happiness comes from?
103) Is freedom important to you?
47 deep questions to ask someone to spark a deep conversation
104) If you could ask me one question, and I had to answer truthfully, what would you ask?
105) Would you rather live a short, exciting life, or a long, boring but comfortable life?
106) What’s the most memorable lesson you’ve ever learned?
107) Are you priorities different now than what they were in the past?
108) Would you rather be incredibly rich and single, or broke but deeply in love?
109) What has been your hardest thing to cope with in life?
110) What’s your favorite memories EVER in life?
111) If you had to get a tattoo right here right now, what would it be?
112) Which is more important: What you say or how you say it?
113) Do you think it’s important to be a nice person to everyone, or only to your close ones?
114) Who are the people you could trust your life with?
115) Do you prefer to hang out with introverts or extroverts?
116) Do you believe in fate? Or are we the controllers of our destiny?
117) What’s your FAVORITE thing about yourself?
118) What’s something you try to actively avoid in life?
119) What impression do you want to give when you first meet them? What type of personality?
120) What’s your biggest weakness?
121) What’s something you could do all day?
122) What’s something you’d be embrassed about if people found out you did it?
123) What do you think about most often?
124) How do you recharge your energy?
125) What do you usually dream about?
126) When was the last time you push yourself to your physical limits?
127) What MUST you achieve before you die?
128) Would you prefer to have high intelligence or high empathy?
129) What’s something that you hate seeing other people do?
130) When in your life have you felt awe?
131) What qualities do you wish you had that you don’t?
132) Would you sacrifice your life for someone else’s?
133) What do you love/hate about your culture?
134) What’s the most important thing that they don’t teach in school?
135) What’s the political issue that makes you MOST angry?
136) What’s the most unsettling thing about life?
137) Do you think porn is a good thing or a bad thing?
138) What bridges are you happy you burned?
139) Is there anything you’re deeply ashamed of?
140) What makes you motivated in life?
141) What’s the biggest difference between you and your family?
142) When do you feel the most confident?
143) Who in your life do you wish you met sooner?
144) Is there anyone you simply don’t respect?
145) Do you want to start a family one day?
146) Do you think you would be happy being single for the rest of your life?
147) Is it worse to fail or never try at all?
148) Do you think your dreams have meaning?
149) Do you think its mind over matter? Or matter over mind?
150) Where do you think we go when we die?
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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