Dating is fun and exciting, but it can also be filled with a lot of pressure and anxiousness.
The reason that dating is often seen as stressful is that it is hard to get to know new people and we are never sure of how much information we should give out, especially on a first date.
But if you are in the market for a long-term relationship and you want to test the waters early on to save yourself weeks or even months of heartache, head out on your date with a set of questions designed to help you determine whether or not someone is a good fit for you.
These are five questions every woman should ask on a first date to weed out the insecure guys with bad intentions.
1) What is Your Favorite Memory?
You can tell a lot about a person by getting to know their past. Asking about a favorite memory can spark wonderful conversation, and it lends well to the awkwardness of a first date.
Because favorite memories are usually filled with fun stories and opportunities to ask follow up questions, this question leaves lots of room to get to know someone.
It also allows you the chance to see how he lights up when he talks about something he likes or loves.
You’ll get to see if he has a sense of humor or if he holds grudges. You’ll get to see how he tells a story and you’ll be able to gauge whether or not he’s interesting.
2) Do You Read?
Most people would agree that reading helps you to learn new things, see the world from a different perspective, and it provides a wide range of conversational topics – that come in handy on a date.
Whether or not you read on a regular basis doesn’t have any impact on whether or not you should ask this question.
Asking about his reading habits will let you peek into his world and find out about his interests.
Ask about his favorite books and the worst book he has ever read. You can learn a lot about people when you discover their dislikes, as well as their likes, especially in the reading department.
And don’t be too judgemental about his choice of reading material…reading is still reading. It’s what he does with that information that is important.
3) What is Something You Want to Accomplish?
A burning question many people have on their mind is about the future. It almost always comes up.
Women especially want to know what men have planned for the future, but they often worry about coming on too strong or appearing desperate.
So, rather than ask about future plans, ask about one thing they want to accomplish. Doing this takes the pressure off about the marriage and kids questions, and allows you an opportunity to explore something exciting that he wants to do.
Maybe he wants to climb Mount Everest, or maybe he wants to refurbish his father’s old car.
Either way, talking about something that is on his to-do list gives you follow-up material and allows you to see into his desires.
Guys who are on dates for flings and one-night-stands won’t be interested in talking about the future. So pay attention.
4) Who is Your Favorite Person?
When you talk about the people in your lives, it’s fun to ask about his favorite people. If he says his drinking buddy Joe, then maybe he’s not the kind of guy you are looking for.
But if he says his Uncle Joe because he was always around when he was growing up and taught him how to play baseball, then you’ve got a winner.
Watch out for the guys who say their mom is their favorite person – that sounds like a great answer, but unless they can back it up with some stories or a reason why they might be just feeding you a line.
5) What Makes You Happy?
While many people strive for happiness in their lives, very few actually know what makes them happy.
If you are on a date with a guy who knows what makes him happy, you can bet that he knows a lot of other things about himself too.
He’s not a fly-by-nighter who is just looking to hook up. Keep an eye out for lines about how “you” make him happy. He doesn’t even know you. He should try harder to answer your questions.
Guys who can answer these questions have probably done some soul searching and considered their lives from various perspectives before. Those are the guys who want to be dating.
A quick message from Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit
In 2018, the third year of Hack Spirit, I poured thousands of hours and considerable resources into creating these articles. It's a labor of love and remains free thanks to your patronage. If you found any value in these articles, please consider supporting what I do with a donation. Your support is what helps me to continue creating more Hack Spirits articles. To make a donation, click the "donate" button below and choose between a single donation or monthly.
Check out Hack Spirit's eBook: How to be Your Own Life Coach: 10 Essential Steps to Creating a Life You Love. Perfect for setting new year goals and actually achieving them!
- Learn the 10 crucial steps to creating a life you love
- Practical techniques and exercises throughout to work out who you are, where you are and what you want to achieve in life
- Affirmations, quotes and motivational techniques to keep you going...even through tough times
- Practical case studies showing what works and what doesn’t