10 damaging myths about being 40 and alone

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Are there times that you’re wondering if being single at 40 is normal or is there something wrong with you?

Truth is, many fabricated facts can let you down, but don’t let them get to you.

You need to hear this… being 40s can be the best era of your life! There’s a lot to learn and be excited about.

But it’s time that you reject those myths about life after 40 once and for all.

Single in your 40s? 10 myths to bust right now

Even if you think that being alone in your 40s is strange or you don’t understand how you feel about yourself, keep reading.

Let’s debunk the common myths about being single in your 40s – so you can see why it’s a great thing.

1) You’re destined to be single and alone

Society is putting on too much pressure that finding a life partner is the key to living happily ever after.

We’re forgetting that it’s perfectly okay if we’re by ourselves.

If you’re in your 40s and single, it doesn’t mean that you’ll be alone and remain single for the rest of your life. Maybe, you’ll meet this person next week or after a few years.

The thing is, no one is predestined not to find love or to be alone.

Besides, being on your own doesn’t even mean having disturbing feelings of loneliness. Being lonely and being alone are completely different things.

Even if you don’t have a lifetime partner, you feel at your best in the company of your loved ones, friends, or co-workers.

No matter when you’ll meet “The One,” try not to stress about it.

Instead, focus and enjoy your journey. After all, you’re the one who makes and decides your destiny and well-being.

2) You’re desperate to settle down

The desire to get married happens naturally whether you’re in your 20s or over 60s. Wanting to be with someone and start a family is normal.

But just because you’re single and alone means that you’ll accept a date or a marriage proposal from just anyone who asks.

It’s also true that some people who have reached the age of forty want to get married already. But, it doesn’t mean they are dying to do so because of this “age thing.”

They’re not desperate to get married either.

Still, an increasing number of people in their 40s choose to be single. Some prefer having someone to date instead of having someone to come home to.

So if you choose not to tie the knot, it’s okay. If you’ve decided to get married later in life, then don’t let anyone’s words get to you.

3) Being alone at 40 means you suck at love

This common myth is always making the rounds, and I found it unbelievable too.

The truth is most people regardless of their age.

It’s not that they’re bad at it. Probably, it’s the way you’ve been conditioned to believe what love should be.

You’ve been sold on what love should be based on what they see in the movies or read in knows – all of which are unrealistic.

Or maybe, it’s just that finding the one for you isn’t easy and being in a relationship is tough.

Those are the reasons why many relationships don’t last these days.

And the truth is,

People in their 40s refuse to settle for the wrong person – not because they suck at love or they have high standards.

They know their priorities and won’t change themselves just to make the other person happy.

4) They are lost in life

Whether you’ve been single for a long time or just got out of a relationship, people tend to assume that you haven’t gotten your life together.

You might even hear some of these judging words coming your way:

  • You’re miserable
  • You’re a jerk and don’t want commitment
  • You can’t handle a relationship
  • You’re too bogged down by work
  • You’re too picky

While it may be true for some, most 40-somethings are happy living life the way they want to. They are enjoying every moment they have as they know how to take each day as it comes.

But what if until now you’re struggling to know your purpose in life?

It’s hard to live alone happily in your 40s when you’re being hit with so many different claims.

Maybe you’ve tried all popular self-help methods like visualization, meditation, and positive thinking, but everything failed to release your frustrations. Or probably, you’re experiencing the same challenges that are holding you again and again.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Let me tell you that it’s not the reason you’re alone at 40, but a lack of clear direction.

Like you, I also have rounds with gurus and self-help coaches and followed every conventional method out there. But nothing worked.

It was only until I tried this incredible workshop created by Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown that I experienced a long-lasting, real impact on my life.

From watching Ideapod co-founder Justin Brown’s video on the hidden trap of improving yourself, I learned the importance of the power of finding your purpose.

Justin had also fallen into the trap of self-development and positive thinking techniques. That’s why he traveled to Brazil to meet the renowned shaman Rudá Iandê for a different perspective.

With Rudá, he learned a life-changing way to find one’s purpose and use it to transform one’s life.

Here’s the best part.

Justin discovered that all the answers you need and the keys to success can all be found within you.

After watching the video, I got a different perspective and understood my purpose. It’s no exaggeration to say that it was a turning point in my life.

So if you’re ready to discover the potential within you,

Watch the free video here.

5) They are emotionally immature

This is one of those notions that most people think. They think that people in their 40s who are on their own can’t manage to build stable relationships because they’re emotionally immature.

Even worse is that some think that it’s a sign of failure.

Sometimes, those who fall into the pressures and opinions of other people get into relationships with the wrong ones but end up being miserable.

The reality is that you hold more power over your romantic destiny, and this means having control of what you can and what you cannot.

Emotional maturity doesn’t come with age or whether you have a partner or not.

Here’s what being emotionally mature looks like:

  • They understand themselves better
  • They can manage the storms of life
  • They keep their cool in tough situations
  • They take responsibility for their behavior and actions
  • They are empathic and supportive of others
  • They are honest about their feelings
  • They know how to set healthy boundaries

And the truth is, you can be single at 40 and emotionally mature at the same time.

That’s because maturity is a choice we can all make. You’re self-aware and you choose to be alone as you are emotionally mature.

6) You can’t find your life partner anymore

Most people would say that once you hit the age of forty, there’s no way you can find a life partner anymore. Some may even think that you’re not attractive enough.

And that’s one reason why some choose to give up on finding love.

It’s not too late to fall in love – for love comes when you least expect it.

Dating in your 40s can be a wonderful thing and it comes with a thrill too. You’re now smarter, wiser, braver, and more discerning than ever.

Still, even if you can still find love in your 40s it doesn’t mean that you must find a partner.

The choice remains yours to make.

Even if you’re alone or with someone, there are several opportunities for you to live your life to the fullest.

7) You’re the cast-aside

As you reach your 40s, people see you as someone waiting to settle down. It’s like if you haven’t been ‘chosen’ yet, some would mark you as an outcast, undesirable, or something.

But even if you’re way beyond your desirable-20s age, you have more to offer.

You know your focus, desires, and wants. You’re more patient, accepting, and forgiving than before. You can compromise and sacrifice.

Most of all, you know what you need from a partner.  But you don’t have to pressure yourself to be married or in a committed relationship,

It’s not necessarily lonely, even if people treat you like it is.

Keep this in mind: If you’re happy and content playing solo, that’s what matters.

8) It’s too late to explore the world

Whoever said that you can’t enjoy and explore the world once you reach your 40s alone?

Traveling isn’t restricted to the young.

When you’re in your 40s, it’s never too old to start or continue seeing the world. You can travel anywhere, try a new hobby, or learn new skills regardless of your age.

Being in your 40s is a wonderful age to go out there and make new experiences.

Here’s why:

  • You have all the time for yourself
  • You’re certain about your dreams and desires
  • You’re likely to be financially capable
  • You’ve much wiser than your younger self
  • You have all the opportunities in your hand
  • You can live where you want

Traveling is a great way to get more enjoyment out of life. And taking part in new experiences is one of the proven ways to avoid the dreaded midlife crises.

Keep this in mind: It’s never too late to explore the world – and now is the best time to go for it!

9) They are bitter and unhappy

One’s status in life isn’t the yardstick of happiness. Neither is your cat, your spouse, or your kids – if you’re not happy with yourself.

Why would people think that being single means being empty and bitter?

Those who say that being single and alone are less happy than married ones probably have not yet experienced how to be truly happy.

For instance, treating yourself to the spa or enjoying every moment doing what makes you happy is something else.

Those who don’t have this healthy relationship with themselves often find faults with the world and the people around them.

Being content with your life is having a healthy relationship with one’s self.

Being single and alone in your 40s is to be alive. It’s a journey towards self-realization, enlightenment, and self-actualization. I can say that nothing is more beautiful than that.

10) They can’t be romantic

People in a relationship are romantic as they have ways to express their romantic sides with their partners.

But then, being romantic doesn’t depend on one’s relationship status or age.

Even single people in their 40s can easily express their romantic sides.

You don’t necessarily need a partner for romance for there are romantic things you can do for yourself (and those around you).

Here are ways to master the fine art of self-romance:

  • Buy yourself chocolates or a bottle of wine
  • Put away your to-do list and romance yourself with your guilty pleasures
  • Have a nice bubble bath while relaxing in a candlelight
  • Dress up and take yourself to dinner
  • Play sweet music with your favorite cocktails nearby
  • Get your hair and your nails done
  • Walk and embrace the setting of the sun
  • Write yourself positive notes and paste them all over your place
  • Celebrate all your wins

Enjoy giving yourself some good lovin’ especially now that self-care and your mental wellbeing are more important than ever.

This is because when you love yourself and exude joy, you’ll attract others with the same zest for living and receive more in return.

Is it ok to be 40 and single?

Absolutely! You just have to make the best of it.

If you’re in your 40s and single (or approaching the decade already), no need to panic. It’s normal and not an isolated thing.

Your age or relationship status doesn’t define who you are.

Being 40s and alone isn’t an expiration date, but the age of maturity. And there’s so much ahead of you.

You can even live a more fulfilling life than those who are married or in a relationship.

And when they say that life begins at 40, believe it!

The Secret to a Better Life?

Hi. I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit.

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Czaroma Roman

Czaroma is a content strategist and copywriter with a purposeful mindset. She finds fulfillment in crafting content for entrepreneurs and life coaches. In a place of love and growth, she's raising a tribe of three with her husband - and writes to inspire people to create impactful relationships.

Connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram.

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