We all know that one person who would throw you under the bus to get what they want in life, but they don’t actually do it because they can’t find anyone to pick you up and throw you under the bus for them.
You know, the people who think they should have been born with a silver spoon in their mouth, or maybe the people who were, but can’t quite understand why things aren’t working out for them in real life?
It’s called entitlement. And many, many people suffer from the very real problems that come about as a result of it. Of course, they’d never admit this mess is all their own doing, because, you know, they are entitled. It’s always someone else’s fault.
Here’s how you can spot a person who has a real sense of entitlement.
1) They Don’t Even See Other People.
A sense of entitlement means that people only see and care about their own needs. They will expect everyone around them to go out of their way to help them in all walks of life.
They need help getting to and from work – and it’s your problem because they have a job to get you.
They need help paying rent – which is also your problem because you don’t want them to be homeless do you?
They lost that job and now they need you to get them a job – because, you know, they can’t look for one themselves.
It’s a real problem and it causes a wide range of problems for everyone around these people.
2) They Think Everything Belongs to Them.
Regardless of whether they want to use your pen or your home, people with a sense of entitlement have no sense of boundaries.
They have no idea the work that went into acquiring the pen or the home and therefore have no sense of pride or ownership over it.
But they’ll flash that pen to their friends and brag about how they got it without having to life a finger.
People with a sense of entitlement have a problem admitting that they need help to do a lot of things in life, and instead of asking for that help they demand it in the form of taking and infringing on the lives of others without any regard for how they might be taking too much from certain people.
3) They’ll Leave You Licking Your Wounds.
Whether they cut in front of you at the grocery store or they grab your seat when you get up to get popcorn at the movies, people with a sense of entitlement make you feel like you are not worthy of the things they seem to be worthy of – they make you feel oppressed, actually.
There’s just no nice way to say it. They’ll take and take and expect you to roll over and give them everything you have. They don’t make any apologies for it either.
It’s a tricky spot to find yourself in because they are going to make you feel so angry and hurt, but you won’t feel it’s your place to say anything. Wow, talk about a rock and a hard place.
You’ll leave the store or the party feeling like all of humanity is just awful and you’ll spend way more time than you should complaining about this person.
It’s just the way it goes when you are dealing with someone who has such a high sense of self that they push everyone else out of their way.
4) They Invite You to Their Pity Party.
The trouble with people who have a sense of entitlement is that this entitlement doesn’t actually make them happy.
In fact, it leaves them lacking in many areas of their lives without the wherewithal to turn things around for themselves.
The irony is that they think they can do and have anything, but the truth of the matter is that they can’t make those things happen for themselves.
So they are perpetually unhappy. Even when they get what they want, it doesn’t fulfil their needs and the pity party continues.
So not only is someone with a sense of entitlement taking from you all the time without apology, they are also unloading all of their emotional baggage on you too.
It’s exhausting and unfair, and unfortunately, isn’t going to change anytime soon.
So if you find yourself in the presence of someone who is demonstrating a sense of entitlement, it’s best to just turn on your heel and walk the other way.
You can’t fix these people. Hell, they can’t fix themselves. You can bet they’ll ask you for a ride as you are walking away though, so be ready for that one.
Are you acting entitled? Here are 5 ways to tell
It’s no fun when you realize you might be letting your entitlement show, especially if you feel like you are the victim in a particular situation, but it’s something that is worth paying attention to so that you can start to change your viewpoint.
It’s not easy, and you won’t be happy about what you find as you move through your thoughts and actions sometimes, but calling out your own entitlement is the first step to changing the way you show up in the world.
1) You think the world revolves around you.
You find yourself getting frustrated with the way other people act around you, but it’s only because of the way you are thinking.
You might believe that everyone should act a certain way around you instead of the way they are acting.
It’s not that they need to change the way they are, but you need to change the way you are thinking about them.
Get a grip on your thoughts and you’ll be on your way to living a life without feeling entitled.
2) You want what other people have but you don’t want to share what you have.
Entitlement shows up in a lot of ways. One way it can manifest itself is that you are happy to take from other people, especially when you feel like you are in need, but you don’t want to share your stuff, thoughts, money, experiences, or anything else with someone who might need them.
You don’t see the point of helping people just for the sake of helping them. There needs to be a reason that benefits you in order for you to get involved.
3) You think you should have things just because of who you are or where you grew up.
Entitlement is most strongly based on who you are and where you are from.
People who come from a life of privilege don’t always realize how entitled they are. It’s a hot topic these days, actually, and if you want to kick your entitlement to the curb, look at the way you were raised and how many times you stomped your feet because you didn’t get your own way.
4) You always try to justify your anger or disappointment.
Entitled people think that they can act out on their emotions, despite how it might make others think. Sure, you are allowed to feel your feelings, but you don’t need to throw them all over other people.
You are entitled if you think people need to put up with you because you are angry or frustrated with something.
5) You feel like nobody is paying attention to you.
You might feel like you are all alone and nobody cares about what happens to you, but that’s not true; that’s just the thoughts you are having and indulging in.
If you indulge in your thoughts more often than not, you are entitled. You want people to see that you are struggling and feel bad for you.
It’s not the ideal way to live and you might get tired of your own company if you carry on like this much longer.
Breaking the cycle of entitlement is not easy, but if you pay attention to how you show up in the world, how you react to things and people that are out of your control, and how you decide to express your emotions in the world are all signs of how entitled you really are.
Make conscious decisions to be different and not inflict your entitlement on to other people.
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If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
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