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30 big signs she loves you but is scared to admit it

What are the signs that she loves you but is afraid to admit it?

There are many ways to tell how a woman feels, even without her realizing that she’s revealing her true emotions.

Some signs are more obvious than others, but by paying attention to the subtle ways in which she touches, interacts, and treats you, you’ll be able to work out whether she’s really in love with you (no matter how much she tries to hide it).

But before we get to the signs, it’s important to look at the reasons why she has a fear of love in the first place.

Why she has her guard up

There are a number of reasons why women fear being in love. Not only does it make them more vulnerable, but it can also have a huge impact on their life. Love is what most people dream of finding, yet it can come with its own set of problems and heartbreak.

Here are some of the common reasons why a woman might have her guard up when it comes to love:

  • Fear of rejection
  • Previous relationships turned sour
  • Traumas from childhood
  • Insecurities about herself
  • Anxiety over what could happen if she’s vulnerable

PsychologyToday explains how opening up to love can be a big change to a person’s life, and this can cause them to feel fearful of being in love:

A new relationship is uncharted territory, and most of us have natural fears of the unknown. Letting ourselves fall in love means taking a real risk. We are placing a great amount of trust in another person, allowing them to affect us, which makes us feel exposed and vulnerable.

So now you know some of the reasons why she might be afraid to love you, but do you know what signs to look out for?

Read on to find out the most common signs that she loves you regardless of her fear, and what you can do about it to take things to the next level in your relationship.

Signs that she loves you (but is afraid to admit it)

1) She compliments you

A surefire way to know that she loves you is if she compliments you. And the more detailed the compliment, the better.

General compliments which could come from anyone don’t count, it’s the small things about you that only she has picked up on that means something.

The fact that she wants to let you know all the things she finds attractive about you is a definite reassurance of her feelings towards you.

2) Her friends know about you

In general, girls tend to enjoy analyzing their crush with their friends. But, when a girl is in love but afraid, telling her girlfriends about you will be a big deal.

She’s probably brushed off their hints and teases about you, and played it cool up until now. Once in love though, she won’t be able to resist sharing this with her closest friends.

3) Her body language

A lot can be communicated through body language. Does she sit close to you, with her arms unfolded and relaxed? Does she openly move around without shying away when you look at her?

If so, she is clearly comfortable around you. If her arm brushes yours and she leans in when you’re talking, she wants to be close to you but holds back because she doesn’t know if she’s ready to take it further.

4) She wants to know little details about you

Only if a girl loves you will she truly care about learning who you really are. She’ll want to know what music you enjoy, your favourite dish, and how your childhood was.

She wants to know you better than anyone else, and every time you share with her, she’ll feel like you’re both growing closer.

Not only will she be interested in knowing these small snippets of information, but she’ll also remember them and reference them in the future. This will be her way of letting you know that she’s really listening and invested in knowing you.

5) There’s always eye contact

Eye contact. It can be out of longing, lust, or love, but ultimately it’s a way to communicate without saying a word.

Maybe she gazes into your eyes to try and work out your feelings, or she can’t stop staring and wishing she could express hers.

Eye contact can also be reassuring. If your partner is constantly looking elsewhere, it shows they aren’t present or interested in the conversation. But, if they maintain eye contact every time you speak, you know they’re really paying attention to you.

6) The way she touches you

Taking it a step further from body language, how does she touch you? Does it feel forced or does she instinctively stroke your arm without even realizing it?

You can tell a lot about a girl from how she touches you. If she views you as a source of comfort and safety, she’ll love hugs and holding hands. If she loves you, she’ll want to touch you any chance she gets.

7) She seeks assurance from you

When a girl is in love but afraid, she’ll want extra assurance that her feelings are being reciprocated.

Even if she’s hiding her feelings from you, she’ll want to know how you really feel about her. This could be in the form of questions about your feelings or past relationships, or by watching your actions.

If you’re consistent and show up when you say you will, she will feel much more confident in one day sharing her feelings with you.

8) Mutual friends have picked up on it

Gossip spreads fast, and it’s probable that friends will have picked up on these hints. Whether she’s shared it with them herself, or they’ve put two and two together themselves, asking them will be a good way to find out how she really feels.

9) She’s always there for you

Even if she won’t admit how much she cares about you, she’ll be there when you need her, day and night.

In this case, actions speak much louder than words. Making you a priority in her life, and going out of her way to be there for you shows that she has deep feelings for you and that she cares about your happiness.

10) She avoids talking about commitment

Even if it’s the thing she craves the most, her fears of being hurt will stop her from talking about being serious together.

She loves you, but she’s facing a deep, inner conflict. She isn’t sure how she feels about it, so the easiest thing to do is avoid the topic.

This might be frustrating for you, but understanding why she’s afraid will help you rationalize her actions.

11) She isn’t seeing anyone else

For most people in love, being with someone else is the last thing on their minds. If you are the only guy she’s seeing, and there’s no one else on the scene, take it as a good sign.

In her mind, she won’t want to complicate things further. In addition, she loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you. Even if she can’t open up to you the way you want, she doesn’t want to make the situation worse by adding another guy into the equation.

12) Your interests become her interests

She may not love your hobbies and passions, but if she loves you, she’ll certainly give them a go.

And naturally, things you like will become embedded in her, and over time you’ll notice her playing your favourite band or buying clothes in the colour you love.

She might not be able to give you all her emotions freely, but she’ll try to make up for that by making you happy in other ways.

13) She gets nervous during certain conversations

Have you noticed her reaction when you bring up the subject of dating other people? Or if you mention another girl’s name?

Even though she’s afraid of becoming too close to you, the thought of you being with anyone else will make her visibly uncomfortable. She might act like she’s fine with it, but you’ll be able to tell by her body language and reactions.

14) She stops herself from being more expressive

There’ll be moments together where her guard will lower, and she’ll find herself doing or saying something in the spur of the moment. Then, she’ll pull back and recompose herself when she realizes she’s venturing into dangerous waters.

She wants to express herself, but the fear of being hurt or rejected is holding her back. When she snaps to her senses, you’ll see her physically withdraw and put the guard back up.

15) Her actions don’t match her words

If a girl is in love with you, her body will naturally want to do things that don’t necessarily match up with what she says.

For example – she might say she wants to take things slow, but, in the heat of the moment, she won’t be able to resist being intimate with you.

This is because she’s torn between her head and her heart, and she feels a connection to you which above anything, scares her.

16) She’s protective of you

Does she get annoyed when you’re mistreated? Maybe you have a bad day at work and she is as angry at your boss as you are. These little hints all add up to reveal how much she cares about you.

Your pain and frustration become her concern, and you know she would stand by you in difficult times.

17) She keeps things light

As intense as your relationship or friendship might be at times, a girl with this type of dilemma will try her best to keep things lighthearted.

You will have moments of intimacy or passion, but when things get really intense she might pull back and try to change the subject.

18) She teases you

Teasing is always a good sign that someone enjoys your company and feels comfortable enough to make playful digs at you.

If she teases and flirts with you, it’s a good sign that she’s in love with you and wants to make you laugh. The more playful she is, the more she enjoys being around you.

19) You make her laugh

Making a girl laugh is a certain way to her heart, and if she finds you hilarious then you’re in with a good chance of her being in love with you.

Laughing releases happy endorphins, which can lead to feelings of safety and togetherness, so every time you make her laugh, you’re increasing the bond that you share.

20) Late night convos are regular

Staying up all night to chat is quite a big indicator that you have importance in her life. To lose sleep and be tired the next day at work is not something a girl would do for just anyone.

This sacrifice of her time and sleep shows that she has strong feelings for you, so much so that she’s willing to stay up all night just to keep talking to you.

21) She gets jealous

No matter how much she fears being in love with you, natural reactions which happen to all of us when we’re in love will still get the better of her.

Being jealous if you mention other girls is certainly one way to find out how strong her feelings are about you.

22) She opens up about her past

Opening up about her past means being vulnerable and letting you know potentially some of the reasons why she is hesitant to love again.

It’s a big deal, and it shows that she trusts you enough to let you in on personal details of her life.

Once a girl starts opening up, it can be a great way to understand her better, and build that level of trust and communication which will one day help her overcome her fears of loving again.

23) You talk every day

If she feels the need to talk to you every day, she certainly doesn’t just see you as a friend or someone to pass the time with.

Talking every day means that even when she’s busy, she’ll find time to text or call you. If you weren’t so important to her, you’d only hear from her when she’s free or bored.

24) She’s hesitant for you to meet her family

As much as she wants to include you in her life, her fear of being hurt will make her hesitate before bringing you into her inner circle.

She knows that if her family adores you, it’ll be much harder to resist taking the relationship further. Her family won’t hold back from encouraging her to overcome her fears, and she might not feel ready to tackle her feelings.

25) She contradicts herself

Being in love but scared means your girl will have a lot of emotions flying around. She’s not following her inner desires because of her fear, so she’ll feel a lot of conflict which will reflect in what she says and does.

For example, she might claim that romance is cringey and not for her, yet all her favourite films are based on romantic storylines.

She wants to portray herself as strong, distant, and aloof, but her true feelings will naturally start to come out, so it may seem like she contradicts herself a lot.

26) She wants to spend time with you, but often pretends she’s busy

As much fun as she has with you, she knows that the more time you spend together, the more involved and vulnerable she’ll become.

Therefore, you might find that she deliberately avoids making plans or claims she’s busy with something when she’s not. This isn’t to hurt your feelings, but to protect hers.

27) The intimacy says it all

Intimacy can reveal a lot about how someone feels about you. Does she lie in bed cuddling after sex, or does she get straight up to shower and dress?

The clues lie in how she touches you. If she’s affectionate and there’s a lot of eye contact and touch, even after sex, you’ll know that her feelings for you are deep.

28) She asks hypothetical questions

Many women love hypothetical questions and theories. It’s not aimed at confusing men, but at finding out their reaction to situations before they’ve happened.

This is her way to judge how successful or unsuccessful your relationship would be in the long run. The questions might be a little crazy, especially if she has a vivid imagination, but ultimately it’s just another form of seeking assurance from you.

29) She gets emotional easily

Every girl is different, some have more control over their emotions than others, but a girl who is afraid to love you openly will be a basketcase of emotions.

She might not show it to you, but from time to time you’ll notice how her emotions will spike and then calm down, depending on the situation. Until she is completely true and honest with herself about her feelings, she’ll struggle to keep a happy balance of her emotions.

30) She wants to know about your previous relationships

Finding out about your past relationships is something most women want to know, but for a woman in love, it becomes an important factor in deciding whether you will make a good partner or not.

By learning how you behaved in previous relationships, she will assess whether you’re likely to hurt her in the future.

Whilst some people prefer to keep this information private, it might be useful in helping her overcome her fears.

What next?

So you’ve realized she’s definitely in love with you, but she’s scared to admit it. What can you do about it? Here are a few tips to help her feel secure enough to love you openly with no fear:

  • Be honest and honest with her about your feelings
  • Don’t force her to commit or share her emotions with you until she feels ready
  • Avoid playing games – someone who fears being in love will see this as a warning sign and back off straight away
  • Be her friend above all else. If you can build a solid foundation of trust and communication, she’ll be more likely to open up to you
  • Give her time and space. She needs to be able to work out her feelings and come to terms with them, and she won’t be able to do that if you’re always together

It can be tough to deal with someone who holds back and struggles to open up to you about their feelings, but a little patience and perseverance can take you a long way.

Love isn’t always straight forward, and hopefully, by identifying where her fears lie (and why she has them) you’ll be able to understand her better and create a more meaningful relationship in the long run.

If you feel like you and your partner could use some support in cultivating healthy, positive relationships, check out this free masterclass on ‘Love and Intimacy’ by the world-renowned shaman, Rudá Iandê.

Not only will you learn about toxic behaviours and codependency, but you and your partner will also gain a better understanding on how to manage your expectations and create a long-lasting, happy relationship.

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Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook.
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