12 phrases emotionally intelligent people use to make an instant connection

Ever found yourself in a conversation that feels like you’re walking through a field of sticky mud? We’ve all been there.

But did you know there are people who’ve figured out how to turn those moments into an instant connection?

That’s right, folks with high emotional intelligence – or EQ – have some cool phrases up their sleeves that can kick-start any conversation!

Let’s dive into these 12 phrases emotionally intelligent people use to build an instant connection.

1. “Tell me more about that.”

Right off the bat, this is a phrase that emotionally intelligent people use often.


Because it shows genuine interest in what the other person is saying.

It’s not just about hearing words – it’s about listening, understanding, and wanting to know more. And trust me, people can tell the difference.

When you ask someone to elaborate on their thoughts or experiences, it makes them feel valued.

It’s like you’re saying, “Hey, your story matters to me.”

And who doesn’t like to feel important?

So next time you’re stuck in a conversation, try asking them to “tell me more about that.” You’ll be surprised at how quickly it can turn an awkward chat into a meaningful connection.

2. “I understand where you’re coming from.”

Emotionally intelligent people use it to show empathy – that’s when we try to understand and share the feelings of others.

And believe me, empathy is like a magic key that opens doors to deeper conversations.

When you say “I understand where you’re coming from,” you’re acknowledging the other person’s perspective.

Even if you don’t totally agree, it shows that you respect their thoughts and feelings.

And that can make anyone feel heard and appreciated!

Try this phrase next time you’re in a tricky conversation or facing a difference of opinion.

It might just turn a potential argument into an opportunity for understanding.

3. “I appreciate your insights.”

I was once in a meeting with a colleague who had a completely different approach to a project we were working on.

At first, I found myself resisting his ideas, but then I paused and said, “I appreciate your insights.”

This small phrase did two things: firstly, it diffused the tension in the room. And secondly, it opened my mind to a new perspective that had some really valuable points.

By expressing appreciation for his ideas, I wasn’t just making him feel heard – I was also learning something new myself.

That’s why emotionally intelligent people use this phrase: it makes others feel valued and it opens up opportunities for personal growth.

4. “That’s an interesting point of view.”

Did you know that our brains are wired to stick with familiar ideas? It’s true! Psychologists call this ‘confirmation bias’, and it can often get in the way of seeing things from a different perspective.

But here’s where this magical phrase comes into play. When emotionally intelligent people say, “That’s an interesting point of view,” they’re actively fighting against this bias. They’re showing that they’re open to new ideas, even if they’re different from their own.

This phrase not only makes the other person feel heard, but it also allows you to broaden your own thinking.

And who knows? You might even discover a whole new way of looking at things!

5. “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way.”

Sometimes, all a person needs is a little bit of compassion.

When someone is feeling down or going through a tough time, this phrase can be a warm blanket on a cold night.

Emotionally intelligent people understand the power of empathy and aren’t afraid to show it.

When you say, “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way,” it’s like reaching out your hand to someone who’s struggling.

You’re letting them know they’re not alone. And honestly, that can mean the world to someone who’s having a hard time.

6. “How can I support you?”

I remember a time when a friend was going through a rough patch.

They were feeling overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do.

Instead of offering unsolicited advice, I asked them, “How can I support you?”

You see, emotionally intelligent people understand that it’s not always about having all the answers.

Sometimes, it’s about being there for someone in the way they need, not the way we think they need.

When I asked my friend that question, it gave them the space to express their needs. It also showed them that I was there for them, ready to help in any way I could.

And guess what? Our bond became even stronger after that conversation.

So next time you see someone struggling, try asking them, “How can I support you?” It’s a simple phrase that can make a world of difference.

7. “I was wrong.”

Admitting you’re wrong isn’t easy. Our ego doesn’t like it one bit. But emotionally intelligent people know that being honest about our mistakes doesn’t make us weak – it makes us human.

When you say “I was wrong,” you’re not just admitting a mistake. You’re showing that you value truth over your ego. You’re saying, “Hey, I messed up, but I’m willing to learn from it.”

And you know what? People respect that. It shows humility and character, and it can build trust like nothing else.

If you stuff up, don’t try to hide it or blame someone else. Just own it and say, “I was wrong.” It might be hard, but it’ll be worth it.

8. “What do you think?”

By asking, “What do you think?” they shift the focus from themselves to the person they’re communicating with.

This simple phrase shows that you value the other person’s opinion and want to hear their thoughts. It invites them to share their perspective and contributes to a balanced, two-way conversation.

So, try sprinkling your chats with a few “What do you think?” questions. You’ll not only make the other person feel valued but also learn something new in the process.

9. “I really admire that about you.”

I’ll never forget the day when my mentor said those words to me. I had just finished a big project and was sharing my experience with her. When she said, “I really admire your determination,” it meant the world to me.

Emotionally intelligent people understand the power of genuine compliments. They’re not just nice to hear; they can also boost our self-esteem and strengthen our relationships.

When you express your admiration for someone’s qualities or actions, it shows that you truly see and appreciate them. It’s a simple way to make someone feel special and build a deeper connection.

Don’t hold back on giving out genuine compliments. If you admire something about someone, let them know. 

10. “I don’t know.”

It might seem counter-intuitive, but admitting when you don’t know something can be incredibly powerful.

Emotionally intelligent people aren’t afraid to say, “I don’t know.” They understand that nobody has all the answers, and pretending otherwise is just a waste of time.

When you admit you don’t know something, it shows you’re honest and open-minded. It invites others to share their knowledge and creates an opportunity for learning and growth.

So, next time you’re not sure about something, just admit it. It might open doors you never expected.

11. “Can you help me understand…?”

This is another gem from the EQ toolbox. Instead of assuming or jumping to conclusions, emotionally intelligent people ask for clarification.

They say things like, “Can you help me understand why you feel that way?” or “Can you help me understand your perspective?”

This phrase shows that you’re willing to put in the effort to truly understand where the other person is coming from.

It fosters mutual respect and understanding, making the other person feel valued and heard.

12. “Let’s find a solution together.”

Finally, emotionally intelligent people are solution-oriented. When faced with a problem or conflict, they don’t just focus on who’s right or wrong. Instead, they say, “Let’s find a solution together.”

This phrase turns a potential argument into a collaborative problem-solving session.

It shows that you value the relationship more than your ego and that you’re willing to work together to find a resolution.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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