Apologizing can be healthy and refreshing, but when is it too much?
There comes a point where we are no longer apologizing to make up for something we did wrong, but instead we are apologizing because we are being forced into them.
As healthy as it can be to apologize, it is also important to preserve your own self-respect, and know when enough is enough.
Don’t let others bully you into apologizing for every little thing, especially when you have no true regrets about those things in the first place.
Here are 11 things you should never feel you need to apologize about:
We all deserve closure. Whether it’s closure at the end of a long and stormy relationship, or closure after losing a job, your involvement prior to the end of the relationship entitles you to closure when all is said and done.
It isn’t needy, crazy, or obsessive: it’s only your right.
2) Taking A Chance On A Mistake
At the end of a bad relationship, there are many in your life who are more than happy to say, “I told you he/she wasn’t good for you.” And your response might be, “I know, I’m sorry, I was dumb.”
But the truth is, you have no reason to apologize at all. You saw potential that they didn’t, and not everyone can live up to their potential. That’s fine.
3) How You Spend Your Money
Many people believe that they have the right to judge how you spend your money. But your money is exactly that: your money.
If you earned it, if you worked for it, and if you saved it, then it’s up to you to decide how you spend it. If others want to make you feel bad for your spending, just block them out.
4) Staying In
Too often we have to go out simply because all our friends are going out. Even if you are tired, exhausted, or just need a quiet day inside without the commotion of other people, you feel obligated to go with them, or apologize if you choose otherwise.
But remember: it isn’t your job to please people. The only one you need to please is yourself.
5) Talking About Love and Heartbreak
There are some who shame us for expressing the love in our heart—for talking about it, obsessing over it, and even feeling pain when we experience one of the worst emotions possible: heartbreak.
But heartbreak is a part of life, and suppressing it can only stunt your emotional growth. Don’t apologize for feeling love and pain; embrace it.
6) Prioritizing Yourself
Not everyone in our life will be kind or good to us. And no matter how kindhearted you may be, you should always have your own lines.
If they cross those lines, then it is time for you to cut them out of your life. Does that make you a bad person? No, and you shouldn’t apologize for it.
It means you are prioritizing yourself, which is never a bad thing.
(To learn more about how to practice self-love, check out my guide to loving yourself here)
7) Being Vulnerable
Vulnerability is something we all must deal with. Ignoring the vulnerability within you and building walls around the truth only makes your situation worse, harming your mental and emotional growth.
When you feel the need to break down and cry, then do it, no matter how much others say it may be wrong.
8) Protecting Yourself
When others have treated us unkindly, they often expect us to continue treating them with the same kindness and respect that we have always granted them, and when we don’t, they make us apologize for our actions.
But this response is protection; it is you protecting yourself from the hate and pain they have caused you. Keep it up.
9) Following Your Heart
You only live once, and the life you lead and the choices you make will define the path that you leave behind. That’s why it is always better to follow your own dreams and aspirations, rather than listening to the advice of others.
Even if they make you feel bad for your choices, remember: it’s your life, and you are the one who must deal with yourself and your actions every single day. Make sure you start walking down a path that you can be proud of.
10) Shielding Your Heart
When you have gone through immense pain, your reaction may be to walk away from a situation or break down and close yourself off from other people.
There are some out there who will do their best to convince you that you are wrong, and you must apologize for your weakness. But protecting yourself isn’t weakness; it’s growth.
11) For Being Honest
And the most important thing you should never apologize for? Honesty. There will be many times where you are forced to apologize for your true thoughts and feelings, but unless you feel otherwise, you shouldn’t.
There is enough deception in this world; the least you can do is be true to yourself.
The No-Nonsense Guide to Using Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy for a Better Life
If you haven't already, check out Hack Spirit's most popular eBook: The No-Nonsense Guide to Using Buddhism and Eastern Philosophy for a Better Life.
Within my book you’ll discover the core components of achieving happiness, anywhere at any time through:
- Creating a state of mindfulness throughout the day
- Learning how to meditate
- Fostering healthier relationships
- Healing from pain and trauma
- Unburdening yourself from intrusive negative thoughts
Sign up to Hack Spirit's daily emails
Learn how to reduce stress, cultivate healthy relationships, handle people you don't like and find your place in the world.