11 small things you’re doing that make people dislike you

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We all strive to be that person who lights up the room when they walk in, right?

But sometimes, without even realizing it, we might be doing things that could be making people less than thrilled to see us.

Guess what? It’s not always about doing more to be liked. Sometimes, it’s about what you shouldn’t do.

Let’s delve into 11 little habits you might unknowingly have that could be making people dislike you.

1. Not Listening, Only Waiting to Talk

We’ve all been there – you’re in a conversation and instead of really listening, you’re just waiting for your turn to speak.

But here’s the kicker: people can tell when you’re doing this.

Active listening is a skill high-achievers master. It’s about giving the person you’re talking with your full attention. It shows respect and makes them feel valued.

When you’re in a conversation, try to really listen. Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. You’ll be surprised by the impact it can make!

2. Being Glued to Your Phone

We get it. Our phones are like mini worlds in our hands. They keep us connected, informed, and entertained. But when you’re constantly checking your phone while in the company of others, it sends a clear message: your phone is more important than them.

Just think about it. How do you feel when you’re sharing a story and the other person is scrolling through their phone? Not great, right?

So, next time you’re with someone, why not put your phone aside? Show them they have your undivided attention. Trust us, they’ll notice and appreciate it!

After all, real-world connections are far more rewarding than virtual likes!

3. Constantly Interrupting

This one hits close to home for me. I used to have a bad habit of interrupting people mid-sentence. I didn’t mean to be rude; I was just so excited to share my thoughts.

But then a friend pulled me aside one day and told me how it made her feel – like her opinions didn’t matter.

That was a wake-up call for me. Interrupting someone is like saying, “My words are more important than yours.” And that’s not a great feeling.

So, I started practicing patience. Letting others finish their thoughts before jumping in with mine.

And you know what? It made my conversations more meaningful and my relationships stronger.

4. Not Making Eye Contact

Did you know that in the animal kingdom, eye contact is a powerful form of communication? And guess what, it’s the same for us humans too!

Eye contact can be a sign of respect, interest, and confidence. It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I’m focused on you right now”.

But if you’re constantly looking everywhere except the person you’re talking to, it sends a different message.

Not making eye contact might make others feel like you’re not interested in what they’re saying or that you’re hiding something.

So when you’re having a conversation, try to maintain appropriate eye contact. It might feel weird at first, but with time, it becomes second nature.

5. Gossiping

We all know that person, the one who thrives on the latest scoop and isn’t shy about sharing it.

Gossiping might seem like harmless chatter, but it can quickly tear relationships apart.

When you gossip, it shows that you can’t be trusted with personal information.

People might start wondering, “If they’re talking about others behind their back, what are they saying about me?”

Being a person of integrity means respecting people whether they’re present or not. It’s about building others up, not tearing them down.

When you get the urge to spread a juicy piece of gossip, take a step back. Choose to be the person who ends the gossip chain, not the one who continues it.

6. Always Turning the Conversation Back to You

I’ll admit, I used to be guilty of this one. Whenever someone shared something about their life, I’d immediately relate it back to something in my own life.

I thought I was connecting, showing empathy. But over time, I realized I was actually diverting the spotlight back to me.

A friend once shared a struggle she was going through, and instead of offering support, I instantly responded with a similar issue I had faced.

Later on, she told me she felt like her problem was minimized.

That’s when it hit me. Always turning the conversation back to myself made others feel like I wasn’t genuinely interested in their experiences.

So now, when someone shares something with me, I make an effort to keep the focus on them. To show them that their feelings and experiences matter.

Yes, sharing common experiences is a great way to connect, but there’s a time and place for everything.

Sometimes, people just need us to listen and acknowledge what they’re going through.

7. Being a Negative Nancy

Nobody likes hanging around a downer. Someone who always sees the glass as half empty, who finds problems for every solution, and who can rain on any parade. It’s just…draining.

Life is tough enough as it is. We all have our battles and challenges. So when someone constantly adds negativity to the mix, it can feel like an extra weight dragging us down.

Now, this doesn’t mean you have to fake positivity or suppress your feelings. We all have bad days, and it’s healthy to acknowledge that.

But there’s a big difference between expressing your feelings and being consistently negative.

Try to find the silver lining in situations, offer solutions instead of problems, and spread positivity.

It might not change the situation, but it can definitely change the way you, and those around you, feel about it!

8. Being Overly Competitive

Did you know that a healthy level of competition can actually be good for us?

It can motivate us, help us set goals, and encourage personal growth.

But there’s a big difference between healthy competition and turning everything into a contest.

When you’re constantly trying to outdo others or prove you’re the best, it can make people feel like they’re being diminished.

They might start to feel like they’re just a pawn in your game to win, rather than a valuable individual in their own right.

Instead of always trying to be one step ahead, why not encourage others to shine too? Celebrate their achievements and acknowledge their strengths.

Remember, true success isn’t just about being the best; it’s about bringing out the best in those around you too. 

After all, life isn’t a solo race; it’s more like a relay where we all need each other to reach the finish line. 

9. Not Respecting Boundaries

Respecting boundaries is something I had to learn the hard way.

A few years back, I had a close friend with whom I shared everything.

But there were times when I’d overstep, asking too many personal questions or offering unsolicited advice.

One day, my friend sat me down and explained how this made him feel uncomfortable and infringed upon. I was taken aback—I never intended to make him feel this way.

I realized that, in my eagerness to be a good friend, I had overlooked his need for personal space.

From then on, I made a conscious effort to respect others’ boundaries. I learned to listen more and speak less, to offer advice only when asked, and above all, to understand that everyone has a private space that should be respected.

Respecting boundaries doesn’t mean you care any less; it means you respect others enough to give them the space they need.

10. Not Owning Up to Your Mistakes

We all mess up. We’re human—it’s in our job description. But the problem arises when we start playing the blame game or pretending like nothing happened.

When you don’t own up to your mistakes, it makes you seem untrustworthy and unreliable.

It’s like saying, “I’d rather protect my ego than admit I was wrong.” And let me tell you, that’s not a good look.

It takes courage to say, “I messed up. I’m sorry.” But doing so not only earns you respect but also shows that you’re mature enough to learn and grow from your mistakes.

When you slip up, don’t run away from it. Own it, learn from it, and move forward. After all, mistakes are proof that you’re trying. 

11. Being a Know-It-All

Nobody likes a Mr. or Ms. Know-It-All. You know the type—the one who always has to be right, who dismisses others’ ideas without a second thought, the one who treats conversations like a lecture series where they’re the keynote speaker.

Being a know-it-all can make others feel ignored and undervalued. It sends out a message that their opinions or ideas aren’t important enough.

Remember, life is a never-ending learning process. There’s always something new to learn from others—even from those who might not be as experienced or educated as you.

So the next time you’re in a conversation, try to keep an open mind. Listen more than you speak and value what others have to say. Who knows? You might just learn something new!

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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