11 clever phrases that instantly disarm a rude person

We’ve all met rude people. One minute you’re just getting on with your day, the next, you’re hit by a wave of rudeness that leaves you lost for words.

But don’t worry, I’m here to help.

I’ve got 11 smart comebacks that will help you deal with rudeness without being mean back. So, next time you meet a rude person, you’ll be ready to handle it smoothly.

1. “Thanks for sharing that.”

Imagine you’re in a situation where someone just blurted out something rude or offensive. Instead of getting upset or responding with the same rudeness, try saying, “Thanks for sharing that.”

It’s a cool and collected way to address what they said without agreeing with them.

This phrase validates their right to express their opinion, but it doesn’t mean you accept it. It’s a mature way of letting them know you heard them, but their rudeness doesn’t affect you.

It might even catch the rude person off guard and make them rethink their approach.

After all, you’re keeping it classy, not trashy!

2. “I value your honesty.”

Here’s another scenario: someone has been brutally honest and it’s come off as rude. Instead of firing back, you could respond with, “I value your honesty.”

This phrase demonstrates that while their delivery might not have been the best, you still appreciate the fact they’re being honest with you.

It’s a subtle way to point out their rudeness without being confrontational. Plus, it shows that you can handle criticism and value truth, even when it’s not sugar-coated.

So, the next time you’re faced with harsh honesty, remember this phrase. It might just help defuse the situation while preserving your self-respect.

3. “Let’s stick to the main point.”

There was this one time when I was in a meeting and the discussion started veering off into personal territories.

One of my colleagues began to attack my character instead of focusing on the topic at hand. It was starting to feel personal and uncomfortable.

Instead of letting it get to me, I simply said, “Let’s stick to the main point.” This phrase helped bring the conversation back on track.

It was a polite but firm way to remind everyone that personal attacks were unnecessary and unproductive.

This phrase is especially useful when people start throwing personal jabs instead of dealing with the issue at hand.

It helps keep the conversation focused and professional, without escalating into a full-blown argument.

4. “I guess we just don’t agree.”

This phrase is a diplomatic way to end a conversation or argument that’s going nowhere. Instead of perpetuating a cycle of rudeness or negativity, simply stating, “I guess we just don’t agree,” can effectively close the discussion without causing further conflict.

Agreeing to disagree can actually improve relationship satisfaction. When both parties accept that they have different perspectives and respect these differences, it can lead to better understanding and less conflict in the long run.

When you find yourself locked in an argument with a rude person, try using this phrase. It might not only help you handle the situation better but also improve your relationship with them in the future.

5. “Could you say that again?”

Sometimes, the simplest phrases can have the most profound impact. “Could you say that again?” is one such phrase.

When confronted with rudeness, asking the person to repeat their words often gives them a moment to reflect on what they’ve just said.

In the heat of the moment, people may not realize their words are hurtful or offensive.

By asking them to repeat their statement, you’re giving them a chance to hear their words again and possibly reconsider them.

This phrase isn’t about calling out someone’s rudeness or challenging them, but rather encouraging awareness and understanding.

It shows empathy and patience, qualities that are often missing in heated conversations.

So next time you face rudeness, remember this phrase – it might just open the door to compassion and kindness.

6. “You might be having a bad day.”

I’ll never forget the time I was at the grocery store and the cashier was being exceptionally rude. Instead of reacting negatively, I said, “You might be having a bad day.”

The moment those words left my mouth, her expression changed. It turned out she’d been dealing with some personal issues and was having a really tough day.

My words, instead of escalating the situation, offered her a moment of understanding and empathy.

This phrase serves as a gentle reminder that everyone has off days, and sometimes, people’s rudeness is more about them than you.

It’s a way to show empathy while also reminding the other person to treat others kindly, regardless of what they’re going through.

7. “Now’s not a good time for this talk.”

Sometimes, arguments just aren’t worth it. Especially when things start to heat up and it feels like you’re walking on a minefield.

That’s when you need to take a step back and say, “Now’s not a good time for this talk.”

This phrase doesn’t mean you’re running away from the problem. Far from it. It means you’re mature enough to know that some discussions are better had when both parties are calm and collected.

When emotions are running high, we tend to say things we don’t mean and can’t take back.

So, the next time you feel a conversation is spiraling out of control, use this phrase.

It’ll help you avoid saying something you might regret later and potentially save your relationship with the other person.

8. “What you said says more about you than me.”

This phrase is a powerful yet gentle way to remind someone that their rudeness reflects more on them than on the person they’re being rude to.

It’s a reminder that words are a mirror of our thoughts and attitudes.

People often project their own undesirable feelings or emotions onto someone else rather than admitting to or dealing with the unwanted feelings.

When someone is rude to you, remember this phrase. It might help them reflect on their behavior and it reinforces your own self-worth. You’re reminding yourself that their rudeness is their issue, not yours.

9. “Hope your day gets as nice as you are.”

Once, a fellow commuter was rude to me on my way to work. Perhaps they were having a tough morning, but their behavior was definitely out of line.

Instead of responding with equal rudeness, I simply said, “Hope your day gets as nice as you are.”

Delivered with a genuine smile, this phrase serves as a polite comeback to their unpleasant behavior.

It shows that you won’t stoop to their level and that you choose to remain positive despite their negativity.

Remember, you can’t control how others act, but you can control how you react. 

When someone’s rudeness threatens to ruin your day, use this phrase. It not only disarms them but also reinforces your own positive attitude.

10. “We can talk more when we’re both calm.”

There’s no point in having a conversation when emotions are running high. Angry words and heated arguments rarely lead to solutions. They just leave you feeling drained and upset.

So, when you find yourself in the thick of a heated exchange, it’s okay to say, “We can talk more when we’re both calm.”

This phrase isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about acknowledging that meaningful conversations happen when both parties are in the right frame of mind to listen and understand.

So, stand your ground and insist on respect. You deserve nothing less.

11. “Why are you upset with me?”

Sometimes, rudeness hides deeper issues. Maybe there’s a misunderstanding or unspoken resentment brewing beneath the surface.

How do you bring these issues to light? By asking a simple question: “Why are you upset with me?”

This question shows that you’re open to dialogue and willing to address underlying problems. It might not always lead to a heart-to-heart conversation, but at least it opens the door for one.

After all, no issue was ever resolved by brushing it under the rug.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.

Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

If your partner does these 10 things, they’re secretly falling out of love

6 types of people manipulators avoid at all costs