10 ways to become your own best friend and flourish in this crazy world

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Life can often feel like a wild roller coaster ride, complete with dizzying highs and terrible lows.

In such a chaotic world, we all need a constant. We want someone who’s got our backs no matter what.

And who is better to depend on than the person you spend every single second with: yourself!

It’s time to become your own Best Friend Forever (BFF) and flourish in this crazy, chaotic life.

This article will guide you through 10 simple, yet effective ways to achieve that. 

1. Love yourself

Loving yourself is all about accepting who you are, warts and all. It means looking in the mirror and saying, “I’m not perfect, and that’s perfectly okay.” It’s about understanding that everyone has strengths and weaknesses – yes, even those Instagram stars with their seemingly perfect lives!

So, how do you start loving yourself? Start by acknowledging your strengths. Maybe you’re a great listener or have a knack for making people laugh. Maybe you’re very organized or have a talent for cooking. Whatever it is, celebrate it!

Next, accept your weaknesses. Nobody is good at everything. Maybe you’re terrible at maths or can’t cook to save your life. That’s okay. These things don’t define your worth.

Remember to cut yourself some slack. You’re human and humans make mistakes. That doesn’t make you a failure; it makes you real.

Finally, tell yourself something positive every day. Look in the mirror and say, “I am enough just as I am.” 

Love yourself – the good, the bad, and everything in between. It might take time but it’s worth it. After all, you’re stuck with yourself for life, might as well make it a loving relationship! 

2. Self-care is key

You probably can’t remember the last time you put yourself first. 

Self-care isn’t just about bubble baths (although those are great too!). It’s about taking care of your body, mind, and soul. It’s about making sure you’re feeling good on the inside and out.

So, here are some simple ways to practice self-care.

First, nourish your body with good food. You know what they say, “You are what you eat.” So fill up on nutritious foods. And, it’s okay to treat yourself every now and then. 

Next, get enough sleep. Your body needs rest to recharge and your mind needs it too. So aim for 7-9 hours of sleep a night. You’ll feel a whole lot better when you wake up!

Don’t forget to get moving! Physical activity is a great way to boost your mood and keep your body healthy. You don’t have to run a marathon or lift heavy weights. A simple walk around the block or a quick dance in your living room can do the trick!

Lastly, take time out to relax. Whether it’s reading a book, listening to music or just sitting quietly in a park – find what calms your mind and do that.

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. So start making time for yourself today because you deserve it. 

3. Enjoy your own company

I used to feel uncomfortable spending too much time alone. I always felt the need to be around people, to be in the thick of things. But as time went on, I realized that learning to enjoy my own company was not just important, it was essential.

So, how did I learn to enjoy my own company? Well, it started with identifying things that I loved doing alone. I started going on long solo walks.  At first, it felt strange.  But soon, I began to enjoy the peace and tranquility. I began to look forward to these walks – they became my ‘me’ time.

I also began to enjoy simple activities like watching my favorite TV shows or reading a book without any interruption. It was liberating to do what I wanted when I wanted without having to consider anyone else.

So, if you’re someone who always needs others around, take a step back and try spending some time alone. Find activities you love doing by yourself and start enjoying your own company. 

4. Be present

In this age of smartphones and social media, it’s easy to get caught up in the past or worry about the future. But did you know that constantly dwelling on the past or stressing about the future can actually increase your risk of anxiety and depression?

This is where the concept of mindfulness comes in. Mindfulness is all about focusing on the present moment. It’s about being fully engaged in whatever you’re doing right now, whether it’s having a conversation, eating a meal, or just taking a walk.

Practicing mindfulness can help reduce stress, improve your mood, and even boost your memory and focus. 

So how can you practice mindfulness? Start by paying attention to your senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel right now? Next time you’re eating a meal, try to savor every bite. Or when you’re walking outside, try to notice the feeling of the wind on your face or the sound of the birds chirping.

Remember, mindfulness takes practice. So don’t worry if your mind wanders at first. Just gently bring it back to the present moment.

5. Give yourself a pep talk

We live in a world where we’re often our own harshest critics. We’re quick to beat ourselves up over the smallest mistakes and slow to give ourselves credit for our achievements. But it’s time to turn this around.

Giving yourself a pep talk isn’t just about boosting your ego. It’s about acknowledging your worth and recognizing your potential. It’s about whispering words of encouragement to yourself when times get tough, and shouting words of celebration when you reach a milestone, no matter how small.

Imagine if you spoke to your best friend the way you speak to yourself. Would they still be your friend? Probably not. So why do we think it’s okay to talk to ourselves that way?

Instead, let’s start treating ourselves with the same kindness and respect we give to others. Let’s become our own cheerleaders. Next time you achieve something, no matter how small, congratulate yourself. When you’re going through a tough time, remind yourself that it’s okay, and that you’re stronger than you think.

Giving yourself a pep talk can be as simple as saying “Well done!” or “I’m proud of you.” The key is to say it with conviction and belief.

Become your own cheerleader and start giving yourself the pep talks you deserve. 

6. Set boundaries

If you’re anything like me, you might find it difficult to say ‘no’. I used to be a chronic people-pleaser, always saying ‘yes’ to things, even when I didn’t want to, just to keep others happy. But over time, I realized that in my quest to please everyone else, I was forgetting about one very important person: myself.

Setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish or rude. It’s about honoring your needs and making sure you’re not overstretching yourself. It’s okay to decline an invitation if you’re feeling tired.

It’s okay to ask for some quiet time if you’re feeling overwhelmed. And it’s certainly okay to say ‘no’ when something doesn’t feel right.

Today, I am much better at honoring my own needs and not feeling guilty about it. And surprisingly, people respect me more for it.

So, set healthy boundaries and remember, it’s okay to prioritize your own needs. 

7. Do what you love

Doing what you love can be messy and challenging, but it’s also incredibly rewarding.

We often get so caught up in what we’re “supposed” to do that we forget what we “want” to do. We stick to jobs we don’t like because they’re stable. We give up hobbies we love because they don’t pay the bills. But when was the last time you did something just because it brought you joy?

Doing what you love isn’t always easy. It might mean waking up an hour earlier to write before work or spending your weekends painting instead of binging the latest Netflix series. It might mean facing rejection or criticism for your work. But it also means feeling alive, fulfilled, and true to yourself.

So, take a moment and ask yourself: What do I love doing? What makes me forget about time? What makes me totally present?

And once you have the answers, go do that. Even if it’s just for a few minutes each day.

Do what you love, not because it’s easy or practical, but because it feeds your soul. It’s messy, it’s challenging, but it’s worth it!

8. Cultivate gratitude

Did you know that practicing gratitude can actually make you happier? It’s true! Research has shown that people who regularly express gratitude tend to have lower levels of stress and depression.

Gratitude is basically the act of recognizing and appreciating the good things in your life. It’s about focusing on the positive rather than the negative. It might seem simple, but it can have a huge impact on your overall well-being.

Now, you might be thinking, “But what do I have to be grateful for?” The answer is: a lot! You can be grateful for big things like a supportive family or a stable job, but you can also be grateful for small things like a warm cup of coffee or a beautiful sunset.

One great way to cultivate gratitude is by keeping a gratitude journal. Every day, write down three things you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be big things – even something as simple as “I’m grateful for the delicious lunch I had today” counts.

9. Show compassion to yourself

Like many of you, I’m my own worst critic. If something goes wrong, I’m the first to blame myself. But over time, I’ve learned that being hard on myself doesn’t help. In fact, it just makes things worse.

Showing compassion to yourself means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you’d show to a friend. It means saying, “It’s okay, everyone makes mistakes” instead of “Why can’t you do anything right?”

The first time I tried this, it felt strange. But the more I practiced self-compassion, the better I felt. Now, whenever I make a mistake or face a setback, I try to treat myself with kindness and understanding. It really helps.

Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes. They’re part of being human. What matters is how you react to them.

10. Never stop growing

Growth is uncomfortable. It’s painful. It’s like stretching a muscle that’s never been used. But just like stretching, the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Growth isn’t about becoming a “better” person. It’s about becoming more of who you truly are. It’s about learning, evolving, and expanding your horizons. And it never stops. No matter how old or wise you get, there’s always something new to learn, a new perspective to consider.

Don’t be afraid of growth. Embrace it. Lean into the discomfort and keep pushing forward. Because that’s how you become your true self.

So there you have it! By adopting these practices, you can cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself and become your own BFF.

In a world that’s constantly changing, being your own constant can be the most empowering feeling ever. It won’t always be easy, but it’s worth it.

So, go ahead and take the first step today towards becoming your own best friend and flourish in this crazy, chaotic world!

Jeanette Brown

I have been in Education as a teacher, career coach and executive manager over many years.
I'm also an experienced coach who is passionate about supporting people in finding real meaning and purpose in their lives, building a resilient, grounded inner self and achieving their desired goals.

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