10 ways to be outspoken while still keeping it tactful

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Speaking up doesn’t have to be scary or mean. It’s all about finding the right balance.

How do we tell people what we think, but still keep things friendly and respectful?

Don’t worry – we’ve got some tips for you.

In this easy-to-read guide, we’re going to share ten ways to talk openly, while still being kind and considerate. 

1. Know What You’re Talking About

Think of a conversation like a trip. You wouldn’t set off on a journey without knowing your destination, right?

The same rule applies when you’re getting ready to speak up on a topic.

Before you jump in with your thoughts, take some time to really understand the issue at hand.

Read up on it, ask questions, listen to different viewpoints.

This shows that you respect others’ time and ideas because you’ve made the effort to learn about the topic before discussing it.

Plus, when you know what you’re talking about, people are more likely to listen and take your opinion seriously.

2. Listen Before You Talk

Have you ever heard the saying, “We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak?”

There’s a lot of truth to that!

When someone else is talking, take the time to really hear what they’re saying.

Don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Show them you value their thoughts by giving them your full attention.

This not only helps you understand their viewpoint better, but it also builds trust and respect.

And when you do speak up, others will be more likely to give you the same courtesy and listen to what you have to say.

3. Stay Calm

I remember this one time when I was in a heated debate with a friend about a topic we both felt strongly about. It was tempting to raise my voice, to let my emotions take over, but I realized that wouldn’t solve anything.

Instead, I took a few deep breaths and made an effort to remain calm. Even though we disagreed, I maintained a level tone and kept my emotions in check.

The result? We were able to have a productive conversation where we both felt heard, even though it was a touchy subject.

Staying calm in these moments is so important. It shows maturity and keeps the conversation from turning into a shouting match.

Plus, it’s easier for people to listen to what you’re saying when you’re speaking calmly and respectfully.

4. Pick Your Fights

Did you know that according to psychologists, people who are good at letting small things go tend to be happier and more satisfied with their lives?

It’s true!

Not all disagreements need to balloon into a big debate. Sometimes, it’s wiser and healthier to just let things slide.

This doesn’t mean you should suppress your feelings and opinions. Rather, it’s about choosing which battles are worth fighting.

If something doesn’t affect you significantly or isn’t that important in the grand scheme of things, it might be better to save your energy for issues that truly matter.

After all, peace of mind is more valuable than having the last word in a minor dispute.

5. Be Clear and To-The-Point

Imagine this – you’re trying to follow a recipe, but the instructions are all over the place and filled with unnecessary information.

Frustrating, right?

The same thing happens when we don’t communicate our thoughts clearly. When we speak, our goal is to be understood.

For that to happen, we need to make sure our message is simple and straight to the point.

It’s a way of showing respect for the other person’s time and mental space.

Being clear also reduces the chances of misunderstandings that could lead to conflicts.

So, let’s aim to say what we mean in the simplest way possible – it’s a small effort that can make a big difference to our conversations and relationships.

6. Use “I” Statements

I learned this trick during a communication workshop I attended a few years back.

Instead of saying “You’re wrong,” I was taught to say, “I see it differently.”

It was such a simple change in phrasing, but it made a world of difference in my conversations.

Suddenly, disagreements felt less like fights and more like discussions.

By using “I” statements, I was able to express my opinion without making the other person feel attacked or defensive.

It opened up space for understanding and constructive dialogue.

This technique has since become a staple in my communication toolkit, and I highly recommend giving it a try!

7. Respect Others’ Thoughts

We come from different backgrounds, have different experiences, and see the world in our own unique ways.

And that’s a beautiful thing!

But it also means we’re not always going to agree with each other, and that’s okay too.

It’s okay to have different opinions.

It’s okay to see things differently.

What’s not okay is when we disrespect or belittle someone else just because they don’t think the same way we do.

We need to remember that everyone has the right to their own thoughts and perspectives.

So, let’s agree to disagree sometimes.

Let’s respect each other’s opinions, even when we don’t understand them or agree with them.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what makes us human.

8. Use Jokes

Did you know that humor can actually reduce tension and increase creativity in discussions?

Yes, a good laugh can do wonders!

Throwing a light-hearted joke or a funny comment into a conversation can help lighten the mood and make difficult talks feel easier.

It makes the discussion less intimidating and more enjoyable.

But remember, the key is to keep it respectful and avoid making jokes at someone else’s expense.

So, why not give it a shot?

The next time you’re in a tough conversation, try adding a dash of humor.

You might be surprised at how much it helps!

9. Try to Understand Others

I remember a time when I was in a disagreement with a close friend. We were both firm in our viewpoints and it felt like we were at a stalemate.

Instead of continuing to argue my point, I decided to take a step back and genuinely try to understand her perspective.

I asked her to explain her thoughts and feelings to me, and as she spoke, I listened with an open mind and heart. It wasn’t easy, especially when she said things I didn’t agree with, but by putting myself in her shoes, I was able to see where she was coming from.

This didn’t mean I had to agree with her, but understanding her viewpoint helped bridge the gap between us and ultimately strengthened our friendship.

In our conversations with others, let’s strive not only to be understood, but also to understand.

10. Stay Positive

Life’s too short to focus only on the negatives. Yes, we need to address problems and disagreements, but if we only ever point out what’s wrong, our conversations can quickly become draining and discouraging. It’s like always looking at a half-empty glass.

Instead, let’s try to also see the half that’s full. Let’s make an effort to highlight the good things, even when we’re discussing something negative.

This doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. It means choosing to see the whole picture – the good and the bad.

This kind of positivity can make our feedback more balanced and constructive, and our conversations more uplifting and productive. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth a try!

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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