10 warning signs you may not be as good a partner as you think you are

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Have you ever taken a moment to think, “Am I really doing a good job as a partner?”

It’s perfectly fine to ask yourself this. In fact, it’s healthy to do a self-check now and then.

This article is about 10 signs that maybe you’re not as great a partner as you think.

But don’t stress – this isn’t about making you feel bad. It’s about helping you see areas where you could improve.

Let’s figure out if there might be some things in your relationship that need a bit more attention.

After all, don’t we all want to be the best we can for the ones we love?

If you find yourself doing these things, it might be a sign that you’re not considering your partner’s feelings as much as you should.

But don’t worry, recognizing these signs is the first step to becoming a better partner!

So let’s get started.

1. You’re Always Right…or So You Think

Do you always have to have the last word in an argument? Do you find it hard to accept when you’re wrong?

If these sound familiar, it might be time for a reality check.

It’s important to remember that a relationship is a partnership, not a competition.

Being right all the time isn’t as important as being understanding and compassionate.

So if you’re noticing that your need to be right is outweighing your partner’s feelings, it could be a sign that you’re not being as good a partner as you think.

2. You’re Not Really Listening

Ever found yourself nodding along while your partner talks, but you’re not really hearing them?

You might be physically there, but if your mind is elsewhere, you’re not truly present.

Listening is more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding your partner’s feelings and thoughts.

If you often zone out or interrupt while your partner is speaking, it might be a sign you’re not being as supportive or attentive as a good partner should be.

Remember, everyone wants to feel heard and understood.

So next time, put down your phone, look into their eyes, and really listen. It can make a world of difference.

3. You Make Decisions Without Consulting Them

I remember this one time when I made a big decision without consulting my partner first.

I thought I was just being decisive and taking charge, but I soon realized that I had unintentionally sidelined my partner’s feelings and opinions.

It was about moving to a new city for a job opportunity. Instead of discussing it as a team, I made the decision solo, assuming they would be okay with it.

Only later did I realize how left out they felt. It wasn’t just about the move, but about making a significant decision without involving them.

So if you’re making big decisions on your own without considering your partner’s input, it might be a sign that you’re not being as considerate a partner as you could be.

After all, being in a partnership means making decisions together, taking into account both your feelings and those of your partner.

4. You Don’t Make Time for Them

Did you know that according to a study by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American spends only 2 hours per day on leisure and sports?

That includes time spent with their partner. If you’re consistently choosing to spend your free time elsewhere, it could be a sign that you’re not prioritizing your partner as much as you should.

In a relationship, it’s important to dedicate time to each other.

Whether it’s a weekly date night, or simply spending quiet evenings together, these moments can significantly strengthen your bond.

If your partner often feels sidelined for other activities or people, it might be time to reassess your priorities and make more room for them in your life.

5. You’re Constantly Criticizing Them

There’s a certain beauty in accepting someone, flaws and all. After all, love is about seeing perfection in imperfection.

But if you find yourself constantly pointing out your partner’s flaws or criticizing their actions, it might be time to take a step back.

Sure, constructive criticism is part of growth.

But when it becomes constant, it can turn into a destructive habit that chips away at your partner’s self-esteem and the overall happiness in your relationship.

Remember, it’s okay for them to be a work-in-progress. Just like you, they are learning and growing too.

So next time instead of highlighting their faults, try to offer support, understanding and encouragement – it can make a world of difference to your relationship.

6. You Don’t Celebrate Their Successes

This one hits close to home for me. I recall a time when my partner got a promotion at work – a big deal they had been working towards for months.

But, instead of being excited and celebrating with them, I brushed it off. I was so wrapped up in my own problems that day that I failed to acknowledge their achievement.

Reflecting back, I realize how much of a dampener my reaction must have been for them.

It wasn’t just about missing a celebration; it was about not sharing in their joy and their life.

So, if you’re not showing enthusiasm for your partner’s achievements or milestones, it could be a sign that you’re not being as supportive a partner as you could be.

Celebrating together not only brings joy, but it also strengthens your bond and shows your partner that you truly care about their happiness and success.

7. You’re Keeping Secrets

If you’re hiding things from your partner, it’s a red flag. I’m not talking about the surprise party kind of secret. I mean the ones that you know, deep down, would hurt them if they found out.

Honesty is crucial in a relationship. When you start hiding things, trust erodes. And once trust is gone, it’s hard to get back.

So if you find yourself keeping secrets, big or small, from your partner, it’s a clear sign that you’re not being as good a partner as you think.

Remember, a strong relationship is built on honesty and openness. So try to keep the lines of communication open and transparent – it’s one of the best things you can do for your relationship.

8. You Don’t Show Appreciation

If you’re not regularly showing appreciation for your partner, it could be a sign that you’re not being the best partner you could be.

It’s easy to take people for granted, especially those we see every day. But remember, everyone likes to feel appreciated.

Little gestures of gratitude like saying “thank you” or acknowledging something they’ve done can go a long way in making your partner feel cherished and valued.

So, make sure to express your appreciation regularly – it’s a simple yet powerful way to boost the happiness quotient in your relationship.

9. You Often Make Them Feel Guilty

I recall a time when I would use guilt as a tool to get my way in the relationship.

If my partner didn’t do something I wanted, I’d make them feel guilty about it. It seemed effective at first, but over time, I realized it was causing more harm than good.

Using guilt as a weapon is not a healthy way to communicate. It can create resentment and drive a wedge between you and your partner.

If you often making your partner feel guilty for their actions or decisions, it’s a sign that you’re not being as good a partner as you think.

Remember, a healthy relationship is built on respect and understanding, not manipulation.

Try to express your feelings honestly and openly, without resorting to guilt-tripping your partner.

They’ll appreciate your honesty and it will foster healthier communication between you two.

10. You Neglect Their Needs

If you’re constantly putting your needs above your partner’s, you’re not being a good partner.

Relationships are about balance. Your wants and needs are important, but so are your partner’s.

If you’re always prioritizing yourself and neglecting your partner’s needs, it’s a clear sign that you’re not being as considerate or caring as you should be.

In a relationship, it’s not just about you anymore. It’s about both of you and the life you’re building together.

Take the time to understand and prioritize your partner’s needs as well – it’s one of the fundamental ways to show your love and respect for them.

11. You Don’t Respect Their Boundaries

And lastly, if you don’t respect your partner’s boundaries, you’re treading on thin ice.

Everyone has their limits – physical, emotional, and mental. If you’re constantly crossing these boundaries despite your partner expressing discomfort, it’s a sign that you’re not being a good partner.

Respecting boundaries is about understanding that your partner is their own person with their own comfort zones.

Ignoring these is not just disrespectful, but it could also lead to serious issues down the line.

Being a good partner means respecting these boundaries and understanding that they are just as important as your own.

It shows that you value their feelings and comfort, which in turn strengthens the trust and respect in your relationship.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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