According to Greek mythology, Zeus split the human body into two because he feared it was too powerful.
Out of the one being came man and woman, separated by Zeus in order to prevent it from rising against the gods.
Legend says these two now separate beings are destined to roam the world until they find their other half.
When they find each other, they will unite and their spirits will join and become that one being separated by gods.
Finding your long lost soulmate isn’t easy, especially when there are 7 billion people on the Earth who could potentially be your other half.
But meeting your soulmate isn’t exactly hard either. I believe that there is more than one soulmate out there for all of us that can make us happy in a healthy relationship.
According to Mary C. Lamia Ph.D. in Psychology Today, “the term “soulmate” implies a special affinity, understanding, or powerful bond that exists between one person and another.”
Here are 39 signs I believe signify that you’ve found your soulmate; someone you can create a healthy relationship with.
Signs of soulmate connection: 39 signs you’ve found yours
1) You Feel Safe Around Them
At the end of a busy day, there’s no other place you would rather be than with this person.
For some reason, a part of you just relaxes when you are around him or her.
All the anxieties, worries, and fear that you feel wash away when you are in their presence. When you feel like you’re having a bad day, you always know that going to them is going to pick up your mood.
You don’t even have to think twice: just thinking about being with them already gives you relief.
2) They Make You Feel Complete
There are parts of you that you never understood. Maybe it’s your hot temper or your awkward jokes or your horrible cooking.
Somehow, this person is able to do the things that you can’t, can feel things that you don’t precisely because you are made to complete each other.
You might be an extrovert and the other person might be an introvert. The point is, you have individual differences that, when combined, creates a complete person.
These differences don’t tear you apart. Instead, it brings you closer to each other. You make each other a better person by balancing each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
3) You Forgive Each Other
Being soulmates doesn’t save you from fights. In fact, you might be more susceptible to fights because of your opposite nature.
Despite this, you are able to fight calmly and talk through every problem that you have. And when it comes down to forgiveness, you would rather come to terms with a problem rather than hold each other guilty.
4) Their Happiness Is More Important
This is one of the important signs of a soulmate connection. Their happiness is your own. It doesn’t matter how many things you give up for the other person.
You feel incredibly compelled to make sure that their comforts come before yours. After all, loving someone is the most selfless act of all.
5) You Respect Each Other’s Differences
You might be soulmates but it doesn’t mean you’re going to agree on everything. The important thing is that your disputes on religion, culture, and ethics don’t affect the way you see each other.
You create an open environment for discussion. You allow each other to voice out their opinions without judgment.
6) You Respect Each Other’s Alone Time
Having time for yourselves is one of the most underrated elements in a relationship. Once in a while, the soul needs to be alone again without any stimulation.
When you tell your significant other that you would like to be alone, he or she respects it without any complaints.
It’s the same for you. Whenever your soulmate asks for alone time, you don’t feel the need to constantly check up on them. You trust this person with your whole heart and respect them enough to give them space.
7) He is Protective
If a man has found his soulmate, he’ll step up to the plate for his woman without hesitation. He’ll provide for her and protect her against any threats, both small and big.
You could argue that a woman will do the exact same for her soulmate.
But there’s a new psychological theory that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment. And it claims that men in particular have a biological drive to step up for the woman in his life and protect her.
It’s called the hero instinct. I wrote a detailed primer about this new concept which you can read here.
A man wants to see himself as a hero. As someone his partner genuinely wants and needs to have around. Not as a mere accessory, ‘best friend’, or ‘partner in crime’.
And when a man feels like a hero, it unleashes his protective instincts and the most noble aspect of his masculinity. Most importantly, it will unleash his deepest feelings of attraction.
It’s actually up to the woman to bring this instinct to the fore.
I know it sounds a bit silly. In this day and age, women don’t need someone to rescue them. They don’t need a ‘hero’ in their lives.
And I couldn’t agree more.
But here’s the ironic truth. Men do still need to feel like a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out relationships that allow them to feel like a protector.
The simple truth is that a relationship is unlikely to survive unless this instinct is triggered in a man.
How do you do it?
A woman has to find ways to make him feel like your hero. There’s an art to doing this which can be a lot of fun when you know exactly what to do. But it requires a little more work than just asking him to fix your computer or carry your heavy bags.
The best way to learn how to trigger the hero instinct in your guy is to watch this free online video. James Bauer, the relationship psychologist who first coined this term, gives a terrific introduction to his concept.
Some ideas really are life-changing. For romantic relationships, I think this is one of them. Because when a man’s hero instinct is triggered, he’ll be more loving, attentive, and committed to being in a long term relationship.
And you’ll be left in no doubt that you are soulmates.
8) You Share The Same Goals
Although having differences is healthy for any relationship, your fundamental attributes should still be the same.
You may not have the same belief about every single thing, but the tangible aspects of your lives should be quite similar.
Having similar goals connects the two of you together on a deeper level. You feel profound respect for the other person because you empathize with their goals in life.
Through this, you create a strong web of connection and support for each other.
[If you’re looking for a structured, easy-to-follow framework to help you find your purpose in life and achieve your goals, check our eBook on how to be your own life coach here].
9) You Complement Each Other’s Flaws
Honoring your differences is one thing, complementing them is another. You can honor the views of your friends and family, but you can’t really change who they are.
Both of you recognize individual flaws, and work together to make each other better.
Your attitude is inclusive rather than accusing. When you fight, you identify weak points in their character and find ways to help them become a better person.
10) You Know What They’re Thinking
Do you ever get those moments when you’re almost telepathic? Like when someone says something odd and you already know that they’re looking at you.
Aside from inside jokes, telepathy refers to your ability to understand what they’re thinking. They don’t have to tell you what they think because you already know.
More often than not, you complete each other’s sentences because you just know how their brain thinks.
11) You Deeply Empathize With Each Other
You feel everything that they feel on a personal level. If they tell you about a job promotion, you feel equally excited as them. This is the beauty of a soulmate connection.
When they say they’re afraid, you find yourself watching out after them, wanting to protect them from the world.
More importantly, your empathy is limitless. Let’s face it, we get tired of people. We get tired of being understanding and friendly.
Compassion just runs out from time to time. With your special someone, you never have to force out empathy. It comes naturally to you, and vice-versa.
12) You Feel it in Your Gut
Without question, you know that this is the person for you. You don’t look at anyone else, and you don’t want to. They are enough. You know it’s meant to be, like a red string of fate.
No matter where you are or what you are doing, you both agree that things are just better when the two of you are together. You don’t exactly know why. It’s just a feeling.
So if you find that things suddenly seem intuivetely “right” when they are around, you might be in the presence of your soulmate.
13) You Keep Bumping into This Person
If you aren’t already together, you keep finding yourself at the same parties, events, and even coffee shops.
Conversation is electric and you feel amazing when you walk away from one another.
14) The Timing Feels Right
Whether you are already together or not, you feel it in your bones that this is the time in your life when you are going to find your soulmate.
The stars feel like they are aligning in your favour and you are ready to receive your gift!
15) Everything Feels Right With the World
You don’t question the good or the bad and you are content with how things are.
That’s how you know that you have found your soulmate: when you don’t want them to be anyone else other than who they were meant to be.
16) You Feel Like They Get You.
Regardless of your mental state, you feel like this person really understands what you are about and what you value the most.
They support you through thick and thin and know that what you are doing is important to you.
17) You Get the Feeling They Have Been Around a lot Longer Than They Have.
An interesting thing that happens to soulmates is that they always get the feeling that they have been around each other before.
One or both of you will comment that you feel like you’ve known each other forever.
You’ll laugh at how you didn’t know what to do without them and you might even have some flashbacks of lives you entered into together previously.
18) He Feels Essential
For a man, feeling essential to a woman is often what separates “like” from “love”.
Don’t get me wrong, no doubt your guy loves your strength and abilities to be independent. But he still wants to feel wanted and useful — not dispensable!
This is because men have a built in desire for something “greater” that goes beyond love or sex. It’s why men who seemingly have the “perfect girlfriend” are still unhappy and find themselves constantly searching for something else — or worst of all, someone else.
Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel important, and to provide for the woman he cares about.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. I talked about this concept above.
As James argues, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.
So, when the hero instinct isn’t triggered, men are unlikely to commit to a relationship with any woman. He holds back because being in a relationship is a serious investment for him. And he won’t fully “invest” in you unless you give him a sense of meaning and purpose and make him feel essential.
How do you trigger this instinct in him? How do you give him a sense of meaning and purpose?
You don’t need to pretend to be anyone you’re not or play the “damsel in distress”. You don’t have to dilute your strength or independence in any way, shape or form.
In an authentic way, you simply have to show your man what you need and allow him to step up to fulfill it.
In his new video, James Bauer outlines several things you can do. He reveals phrases, texts and little requests that you can use right now to make him feel more essential to you.
By triggering this very natural male instinct, you’ll not only give him greater satisfaction but it will also help to rocket your relationship to the next level.
19) You Are There to Help Each Other
You can not only see yourself in one another’s shoes, but you feel like you’ve been there yourself.
You get one another and understand that there are going to be hard times, but you are there to help each other through it.
20) You Accept Their Flaws Without Question
Everyone has flaws, but not everyone accepts or acknowledges those flaws. You are very aware of your own flaws, as well as your soulmate’s, and you love them just the same.
Maybe you love them even more because it is the flaws that make us unique and truly human.
21) You Support Their Goals
Whether they want to be an Olympic runner or carpenter, you are there cheering them on and they do the same for you.
Not every person grows up dreaming of marrying a doctor or a lawyer – there are plenty of gifts people have to share with the world and you want your soulmate to do just that.
22) They Understand Where You’re at in Life
Whether you are flying high or riding low, your soulmate gets where you are in life.
They never try to get you out of a funk because they know how important it is to just support you at whatever point you are in life.
They never try to steal your thunder when you are riding high because they know that you deserve to feel like that and they share in that joy with you.
Whether you are near or far, your soulmate gets what you are about and doesn’t try to change that about you.
[To dive deep into specific techniques to help you calm down and reduce stress, check out my no-nonsense guide to using eastern philosophy for a mindful and peaceful life here].
23) You Love Them as a Whole Person.
You’ll know you’ve found your soulmate when you accept a person as who they really are and don’t try to change anything about them.
Loving someone, or even liking them a lot is about giving them the space to be themselves.
If you are perfectly happy with their flaws and their awesomeness, you have found your soulmate.
24) You Don’t Feel Threatened by Tough Conversations
Even when the going gets tough, you don’t worry that it signifies a breakdown in the relationship.
Because you are comfortable with one another, you trust that everything being said is important and necessary.
25) You Can Be Intense With Each Other
Whether you are agreeing on a hot topic or are fighting to the bitter end about something that you believe in, you’ll find that conversations and even interactions with your soulmate are intense all of the time.
This can be intimidating and exhausting for a lot of people who are not used to that kind of interaction.
If you find yourself becoming flabbergasted with someone, it might not be because you dislike them, but because you are intensely connected to them and they could be your soulmate.
26) You Respect One Another’s Need for Alone Time
It can be hard to tell someone you love that you want time away, but if you are soulmates, they’ll get it. They’ll even be glad to have some alone time for themselves, as well.
27) You Don’t Care if Others Want Them
You don’t get jealous because you know that soulmates are meant to be together. While others may come around, your guy or gal is true to you no matter what.
28) You Can Voice Your Opinion
You can tell them that shirt is ugly and they won’t get offended. And they can tell you the same. That’s pretty powerful.
Perhaps you can spend the afternoon buying not-ugly shirts together!
29) It Always Feels Like You Against the World
No matter what the two of you are up to, you feel comfortable going forward because you know that you have each other’s backs.
Whether you are applying for a job or you are paying down debt, your soulmate will get all of it and be there to support you.
You’ll never feel alone again when you have your soulmate by your side.
30) You Don’t Threaten One Another
You never make them feel small or insignificant in your life. You never talk about breaking up or divorce.
There’s no need to belittle the relationship that way when you are soulmates.
31) Making Each Other Happy is Enough
You don’t need anything from them except to let them love you. You are happy to love them up close or far away.
32) You Never Question Your Security.
You know that no matter where you are and what you are doing your soulmate will be with you.
A phone call from afar or standing by your side, your soulmate will go to great lengths to remind you that you are worth whatever it is you desire and will help you find your way to it and protect you all along the way.
33) You Don’t Remember What Things Were Like Before
It’s hard for soulmates to tell stories from “before” they found each other. In your mind, you’ve always been together.
It’s like parents who have children remembering events before children were born: “who had the kids that night we drank so much and passed out on the floor?”
Oh, nobody. The kids weren’t born. It’s like that with soulmates, too. There is no before.
34) You Listen and So Do They.
You’ll know you found your soulmate when the person in front of you listens with all their heart and all their head and knows just the right thing to say and do.
A kind word, or no words at all, your soulmate will know when and how to fill the void to make you feel safe and loved.
35) You Think About Each Other A Lot
Soulmates often recount that they knew this relationship was special because they constantly thought about one another and wanted to be together even when they were angry or upset.
36) You Know When it’s Time to Pull Out the Apology
You don’t let pride get in the way of moving the relationship forward. You know when it’s time to say you are sorry and they do too.
37) You Do it All Over Again
If you had to do it all over again the same way, you would make the journey together.
38) You Feel Like You Were Meant to Share Your Life With One Another
You don’t doubt that this is the person for you.
39) Your Partner Takes All Your Stress Away
At the end of the day, no matter how bad it was, you can always come home to a safe and loving partner who is going to support you in whatever you need.
That’s how you know you’ve found your soulmate: when they are home to you.
Are You Soulmates or Life Partners? How to Tell the Difference
If you asked people what they wanted in a relationship, the might answer, a “soul mate.”
But a soulmate is not what many people think it is, yet we continue to refer to it as the ultimate kind of relationship.
It’s probably more accurate to say that we are seeking a life partner, which is more along the lines of what we think of when we say we just want to meet our soulmates.
So what’s the difference and how can we tell if we are with one or the other?
Soulmates Don’t Stick Around
Contrary to popular belief, a soulmate has a specific purpose and once the specific purpose has been fulfilled, the relationship is free to dissolve.
According to some, soulmates actually come into our lives to challenge us and help us grow in a way that serves us and moves us forward.
It is not the job of a soul mate to accompany us through life and share in every detail of our being.
And based on this definition, soul mates can be plentiful.
Because each soul mate has a specific purpose, we can have more than one, which again, is not what we are used to hearing or even saying ourselves.
Sometimes, a relationship with a soulmate feels overwhelming sad when it ends because the energy and intensity of the relationship are so strong.
This feeling often confuses people into thinking that they long for or desire the other person and it leads to a lot of longer-than-intended relationships.
Just because you feel drawn to someone doesn’t mean you should be with them.
If they have served their purpose, they need to move on. It hurts, but it’s how the universe is intended to work.
Soulmates come and go. They aren’t meant to stay forever.
What’s more, soulmates don’t have to be romantic partners. They can come to use in the form of friends, family, teachers, mentors, and more.
When we expect to find our soulmates in our romantic interests, we can often miss out on the opportunities to be challenged by someone else the universe has sent.
So if you are sitting at home waiting for your soulmate to sweep you off your feet, it might be easier to go out and just make a new friend or connect with an old one who challenged you and helped you grow. That’s the role of a soulmate.
Do These Four Things if You Want to Find Your Soulmate
Looking for love in all the wrong places? We tend to look outside of ourselves for the signs and signals we need to know if love is just around the bend, but the truth is that if you want to find your soulmate and experience true love, it’s worth noting that much of that work has to happen on your end first.
I believe that it’s not about finding someone who will complete you. It’s about being someone who is complete.
When people who know themselves, are able to pay attention to their habits, and like themselves go looking for love, they don’t really care if they find it.
They already feel loved. They love themselves and then they go out and find someone to love.
Here are 4 tips that I think will help you meet your soul mate.
1) Know thyself first.
One of the most important things you can do for yourself as you decide you want to find your soulmate is get to know the real you first.
If you are relying on other people to tell you who you are and where you are going in life you are going to continue to be disappointed.
Not only do people not want that kind of responsibility in a relationship, but that’s a terrible way to start any relationships.
When you take the time to get to know yourself you realize that there is nothing anyone could offer you that you couldn’t offer yourself in terms of support, adoration, and importance.
2) Pay attention to your habits.
When you set out looking for love, it’s important to remember that although your life may be perfect, you are not.
You will find flaws in others just as easily as they will find flaws in you.
It’s important that you understand these things about yourself and have a way of acknowledging our limitations and strengths in a way that helps you maintain accountability for your own thoughts and feelings.
3) Like yourself.
We are our own worst enemies, aren’t we? We say the meanest things to ourselves.
We say things to ourselves we would never say to another human being, let alone someone we loved.
So when you head out looking for love from a soulmate, be prepared to fall in love with yourself first.
If you don’t love yourself, or even like yourself for that matter, you can’t expect other people to fill that void for you.
What happens when we do this is that we don’t believe what others offer in the way of complements or love.
We don’t buy into it that it is real. When you love yourself first however, it becomes much easier to see how someone would love you too.
(To learn more self-love techniques to improve your confidence and better your life, check out our eBook on the no-nonsense guide to using eastern philosophy and Buddhism for a better life here)
4) Start living your life right now.
One of the hardest parts about being single is using the perpetual excuse of “I don’t have anyone to do things with.”
But when you are really ready to find someone to spend your life with, you’ll realize that you can entertain yourself in many ways that other people cannot.
There are a hundred ways or more to spend time alone and be comfortable with that.
This goes back to the fact that another person cannot provide the same kind of joy and affection your life that you do, no matter how hard they try.
People who have successfully found soulmates will tell you that they spent a lot of time by themselves, getting to know themselves, and loving themselves long before they ever found someone to love the in return.
They found out what they liked, how they liked to live, and the things that were fun for them.
Going out and figuring out what makes your life worth living is the best gift you can give to yourself. It’s also highly attractive to other people.
The kind of people you want to bring into your life.
Being alone can be hard sometimes, but it’s not the end of the world. If you set out to find a soulmate without first knowing what is in your soul, you’ll be sorely disappointed.
Figure out your stuff before you go looking for someone to attach to your stuff. Once you do that, you’ll have no problem getting someone to fall in love with your life and you.
(For more wisdom on soulmates, check out these beautiful soulmate quotes here)
What if your soulmate isn’t returning serve?
If you’ve found your soulmate, then you need to lock them down… for life.
However, men can act distant and cold, pull away, and struggle to commit. Even when you seemingly have the “perfect” relationship.
Especially for women, if your guy is displaying any of these symptons, then you must get inside his head and understand why.
Because if you love them, it’s up to you to dig a bit deeper and figure out why he’s hesitant to return serve.
In my experience, the missing link in any relationship is never sex, communication or a lack of romantic dates. All these things are important, but they are rarely deal breakers when it comes to the success of a relationship.
The missing link is this:
You actually have to understand what your guy is thinking at a deep level.
Relationship psychologist James Bauer’s new video will help you to really understand what makes men tick—and who they fall in love with. You can watch the video here.
James reveals a relationship “secret ingredient” few women know about which holds the key to a man’s love and devotion.
You may also like reading:
- He doesn’t REALLY want the perfect girlfriend. He wants these 3 things from you instead…
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- Want her to be your girlfriend? Don’t make this mistake…