10 types of people that aren’t worth keeping in touch with, according to psychology

There’s an old saying that you become like the five people you spend the most time with. If that’s true, then it’s crucial to choose those people wisely.

According to psychology, there are certain types of individuals that can drain your time, energy, and happiness. It’s not about being judgmental; it’s about recognizing the influence these folks can have on your life.

In this article, we’ll identify the 10 types of people that, for your own wellbeing, you might consider giving less space in your life.

Let’s dive in.

1) The constant critic

We’ve all come across that one person who seems to have a knack for finding fault in everything and everyone.

According to psychologists, constant critics can have a significant impact on your self-esteem and overall well-being. This isn’t about rejecting constructive criticism, it’s about identifying those who use criticism as a tool to belittle and undermine.

Consider this, if you’re constantly surrounded by negativity and criticism, it’s likely to become your reality. The harm of this can be substantial, affecting your self-confidence, productivity, and happiness.

It’s not about shutting out people who offer valuable feedback, but rather identifying those who levy criticism for its own sake. These are the individuals that might be worth reconsidering how much space they take in your life.

2) The energy vampire

I’m sure we’ve all had that one friend or colleague who leaves us feeling drained after spending just a few minutes with them. They’re what psychologists often refer to as “energy vampires”.

In my own experience, I had a friend who would constantly unload their problems on me. Every conversation felt like a therapy session, and it would leave me feeling emotionally exhausted. While it’s important to support our friends during tough times, there’s a difference between being supportive and being used as an emotional punching bag.

Over time, I realized the toll this relationship was taking on my own mental health. It was then that I decided to limit my interactions with this person. It wasn’t an easy decision, but ultimately, it was necessary for my own well-being.

Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with someone. If they consistently leave you feeling drained rather than uplifted, they might just be an energy vampire.

3) The one-sided friend

In a balanced friendship, both parties give and take. However, there’s a type of person who seems to be always taking and seldom giving. They ask for favors, time, and resources, but aren’t there when you need the same.

Psychologists have observed that these relationships can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. They’ve found that people who engage in one-sided relationships often report a decreased sense of self-esteem and personal value.

Moreover, research shows that when we invest our time and energy into these imbalanced relationships, we often overlook opportunities to form healthier connections. It’s like pouring water into a leaky bucket – no matter how much you pour in, it’s never going to be full.

Take a step back and evaluate your relationships. If you find yourself always giving and never receiving, it might be time to reassess.

4) The perpetual victim

Life can be tough and we all face challenges. But there’s a type of person who always seems to be in crisis mode. They portray themselves as the perpetual victim, with every problem in their life being someone else’s fault.

While empathy is a necessary trait, it’s important to recognize when someone is using their victim status as a manipulation tool. This can lead to a cycle of guilt and obligation that is difficult to break free from.

The perpetual victim rarely takes accountability for their actions or situation, which can inhibit their personal growth. For those around them, this constant negativity and blame-shifting can be draining and detrimental to their own mental health.

Maintaining a healthy distance from perpetual victims can allow you to offer support when truly needed, without being pulled into their cycle of crisis.

5) The gossip monger

We’ve all encountered that person who thrives on sharing the latest scandal or rumor. It’s the gossip monger, the person who seems to know everyone’s business and can’t wait to share it.

While it may seem harmless, or even entertaining at times, psychologists warn that gossip can have a corrosive effect on relationships. It breeds mistrust and can create a toxic environment whether at work, in friendships, or within families.

Furthermore, if they’re gossiping to you about others, there’s a good chance they’re gossiping about you too. This can lead to feelings of insecurity and paranoia.

It may be wise to limit your interactions with the gossip monger. Doing so can help create a more positive and trustworthy social environment.

6) The emotional manipulator

One of the most challenging types of people to recognize and distance yourself from is the emotional manipulator. They have a knack for making you question your own feelings and reality, often using guilt or sympathy as tools for control.

What makes it difficult is that emotional manipulators can often seem caring and attentive at first. But over time, their actions reveal a pattern of manipulation that can leave you feeling confused, invalidated, and emotionally drained.

The impact on your mental health can be significant. It can lead to anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of self-worth. It’s a tough situation to navigate, especially when the manipulator is someone you care deeply about.

A healthy relationship should uplift you, not make you question your worth or sanity. 

7) The relentless pessimist

There was a time when I found myself constantly surrounded by negativity. It seemed like no matter what happened, there was always a dark cloud looming overhead. I realized later that it wasn’t life, but rather the company I kept.

The relentless pessimist, as psychologists call them, can affect your outlook on life. Their gloom and doom perspective can be infectious and before you know it, you start mirroring their negativity.

Deciding to limit my interaction with such individuals wasn’t easy, but ultimately it led to a significant shift in my mindset. I found myself becoming more optimistic, happier, and motivated.

Life has its ups and downs, but having a positive outlook can make all the difference. It’s worth considering if the relentless pessimists in your life are dampening your spirits and if so, what changes you might need to make.

8) The overachiever

At first glance, the overachiever might seem like the perfect person to surround yourself with. They’re driven, ambitious, and often successful. However, psychologists caution that being around overachievers can actually have a negative impact on your wellbeing.

Their relentless pursuit of perfection can set an unrealistic standard and create a constant sense of inadequacy in those around them. You might find yourself feeling overwhelmed or even guilty for not keeping up.

Moreover, overachievers often prioritize their goals over relationships, which can lead to one-sided interactions and a lack of emotional support.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own pace and definition of success. Don’t let the overachiever’s standards overshadow your own achievements and self-worth.

9) The drama king or queen

Who doesn’t love a bit of drama? It can be entertaining, exciting even. But when it’s a constant part of your interactions with someone, it can become draining and disruptive. Enter the drama king or queen.

They thrive on conflict and seem to attract crises like a magnet. Every event, no matter how small, is blown out of proportion. What should be simple conversations turn into dramatic narratives.

Psychologists suggest this constant state of turmoil can be damaging to your mental health. It can create unnecessary stress and anxiety, detracting from your ability to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

While everyone has moments of drama, continuous theatrics are a red flag. Limiting your exposure to the drama kings and queens in your life can lead to a more peaceful and balanced state of mind.

10) The non-apologizer

At the heart of any healthy relationship is the ability to apologize when we’re wrong. However, there’s a type of person who refuses to say they’re sorry, even when it’s clear they’ve made a mistake. They are the non-apologizers.

This isn’t just about manners, it’s about acknowledging and taking responsibility for one’s actions. A person who can’t apologize is likely to repeat their mistakes, leading to patterns of hurt and resentment.

Psychologists note that interacting with non-apologizers can lead to feelings of frustration, guilt, and even shame. It’s a challenging dynamic that can make you question your own perceptions and feelings.

Stepping away from relationships with non-apologizers can be empowering. It sends a clear message about your self-worth and your expectations of how you deserve to be treated.

The ultimate takeaway

Navigating the complexities of human relationships is a lifelong task. The people we choose to surround ourselves with can profoundly influence our beliefs, feelings, and actions.

Psychology has shown us that certain types of individuals can adversely affect our emotional well-being. Recognizing these individuals and understanding their impact is a crucial step in maintaining a healthy mind-space.

The key lies in finding balance. It’s not about cutting people out impulsively, but mindfully deciding who gets to occupy significant space in our lives. This realization can be a powerful tool in shaping our own journey towards emotional health and happiness.

Remember, it’s not selfish to prioritize your mental health. It’s essential. And sometimes, that might mean distancing yourself from certain individuals for your own wellbeing.

At the end of the day, you are your best advocate. The power to cultivate nourishing relationships and a healthier you lies in your hands.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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