10 things you don’t owe anyone an explanation for (even if you think you do)

We’ve all been there – that awkward moment where someone demands an explanation for something that we feel is personal or simply none of their business.

Yet, we often find ourselves scrambling for an answer, a justification, as if we owe them our life’s story.

The truth is, most of us have been conditioned to believe that providing explanations is a necessary part of human interaction.

Whether it’s from parents drilling us with the “why” question in our formative years, or societal norms that suggest we owe everyone an explanation for our decisions, it’s become a part of who we are.

But here’s the reality – there are some things in life you just don’t owe anyone an explanation for.

And no, it doesn’t make you rude or nonchalant. It simply means you’re claiming your space and setting boundaries.

In this article, I’m going to go through 10 situations where you don’t owe anyone an explanation (even if you think you do).

Let’s get started. 

1. Your life choices

Many people can’t resist the urge to weigh in on the life choices of others. It’s as if they have a personal stake in your life, which entitles them to an explanation for every decision you make.

The reality is, you don’t owe them that. Your life choices are just that – yours.

Whether it’s your career path, dietary preferences, choice of partner, or even your decision not to have children, these are personal decisions that should be respected as such.

Just because someone asks why doesn’t mean you need to justify or defend your choices.

In fact, often these questions stem more from the asker’s own insecurities or biases than any genuine curiosity about your life.

Each individual has their own unique journey. What works for one person may not work for another.

It’s crucial to make decisions based on your own values and priorities, and not on societal expectations or external pressures.

2. Your personal boundaries

Establishing personal boundaries is a critical aspect of maintaining a healthy mental and emotional state. It’s how we communicate our needs and expectations to others and protect our self-esteem.

Yet, for some reason, many of us feel compelled to explain or justify our boundaries to others.

Perhaps it’s because we fear being perceived as rude or inconsiderate. Or maybe it’s because we’re worried about disappointing others.

But the truth is, your personal boundaries are exactly that – personal. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for them.

Your boundaries should always be respected, whether that means saying no to a social event to recharge or declining an invitation to discuss sensitive topics that make you uncomfortable.

It’s okay to prioritize your wellbeing over pleasing others. It’s okay to say no without providing an elaborate explanation.

Your boundaries are a reflection of your self-respect and dignity – they don’t require validation from anyone else.

3. Your past mistakes

We’ve all made mistakes in the past – it’s part of the human experience. But sometimes, people feel entitled to demand explanations for our past actions, as though they have a right to judge us based on our history.

However, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your past mistakes. They are a part of your personal journey and you have every right to keep them private if you choose.

Your past mistakes do not define you – it’s how you learn and grow from them that truly matters. And that growth process is a personal one that doesn’t require external validation or approval.

Don’t let others make you feel guilty or ashamed of your past. Instead, use your experiences as stepping stones to becoming a better version of yourself.

Remember, it’s your journey and no one else’s. No explanation is needed.

4. Your relationship status

In a world that often equates happiness with romantic relationships, it’s not uncommon for people to feel the need to justify their relationship status.

Whether you’re single by choice, in a casual relationship, or happily married for decades, your relationship status is your business alone.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you’re not married yet or why you’re still single. Nor do you need to justify why you’re in a long-term relationship but not planning to tie the knot anytime soon.

Your happiness and satisfaction should not be measured by societal standards of relationships. It should come from within and be based on what feels right for you.

When someone asks about your relationship status, remember that it’s not something you need to justify. Your love life is yours alone to navigate. 

5. Your appearance

In a society that often places an alarming emphasis on physical appearance, it’s not uncommon for people to feel the need to justify their looks.

Whether it’s your body size, your fashion choices, or even the way you choose to wear your hair, there seems to always be someone ready with unsolicited opinions or questions.

But here’s the thing: your appearance is a personal matter and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for it.

Your body, your rules. Whether you prefer casual attire over formal, love bold makeup or choose to go bare-faced, decide to grow a beard or shave it off – these are all choices that are entirely up to you.

The only person who needs to be comfortable with your appearance is you.

When someone feels entitled to comment on or question your looks, remember that you’re not obliged to justify your choices.

Your appearance is a reflection of your individuality and personal style. You don’t need to justify that to anyone. 

6. Your choice of free time activities

In our hyper-connected world, it’s not uncommon for others to feel entitled to comment on or question how we choose to spend our free time.

This can range from the hobbies we pursue to the TV shows we binge-watch.

But guess what? How you choose to spend your free time is entirely up to you, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for it.

It’s your leisure time, so you have every right to enjoy it in a way that brings you happiness and relaxation, be it unwinding with a good book, running marathons, or spending hours gaming.

When someone questions your choices of recreation, don’t forget that your hobbies are not up for debate.

They are a part of your personal time and should be respected as such. 

7. Your personal beliefs

Our beliefs, whether they’re religious, political, or philosophical in nature, are deeply personal. Yet, often others feel they have the right to challenge or question them.

While healthy debate can be stimulating and enlightening, feeling pressured to justify or defend your beliefs is entirely different.

And the truth is, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you believe in.

Your beliefs are a part of who you are. They shape your worldview and guide your actions. And while they may evolve over time as you grow and learn, that process is yours alone to navigate.

Regardless of whether others agree with your beliefs or not, they are yours and they are valid. You don’t need to justify them to anyone.

8. Your decision not to drink or smoke

In many social situations, choosing not to drink alcohol or smoke can be met with raised eyebrows and questioning glances.

It’s as if your personal preference to abstain needs to be justified or explained.

But the reality is, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing not to drink or smoke. It’s a personal decision that should be respected without question.

Whether you’ve chosen sobriety for health reasons, personal beliefs, or just because you don’t enjoy the effects of alcohol or cigarettes, it’s entirely your business.

No one has the right to question your choices or pressure you into providing an explanation.

9. Your dietary choices

Whether you’re vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, carnivore, or follow a specific diet for health reasons, it seems everyone has an opinion about what we should or shouldn’t eat.

But here’s the thing: your dietary choices are a personal matter and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for them.

What you choose to eat should be based on what feels right for your body, aligns with your values, and contributes to your wellbeing. Whether others agree or disagree with it is not your concern.

When someone feels entitled to comment on or question your diet, remember that your nutritional choices are yours alone to make. 

10. Your choice of where to live

In a world that often equates success with living in certain locations or types of homes, it’s not uncommon for people to feel the need to justify their living situation.

Living in a bustling city, a quiet suburb, a rural area, or even a different country altogether is your business and yours alone. You’ve chosen your home based on what’s right for you.

Your living situation should be based on what aligns with your lifestyle, values, and personal preferences.

The opinions of others should not influence your choices or make you feel like you need to explain yourself.

If someone questions your choice of residence, remember that you’re not obliged to justify your decisions. Your home, your choice. No explanation is needed. 

In conclusion: It’s about self-empowerment

The journey towards self-empowerment is often a complex maze intertwined with societal and personal expectations.

One of the significant milestones in this journey is embracing the concept that there are things in life we don’t owe anyone an explanation for.

Recognizing this can be a liberating exercise, freeing us from the perceived need to continually justify our actions, beliefs, and choices.

In the wise words of American author and speaker, Dr. Brene Brown, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

This quote beautifully encapsulates the essence of what we’ve been discussing. It’s about daring to prioritize ourselves, our comfort, and our peace of mind over external expectations.

Whether it’s your life choices, personal beliefs, or even your decision not to drink or smoke, remember – you don’t owe anyone an explanation for them. They are a part of who you are and should be respected as such.

As you navigate through life, remember that your journey is unique and personal. Your decisions do not need validation from others, and you are entitled to your privacy and autonomy.

Embrace the power of self-assertion and let this understanding guide you towards a more empowered life.

Because ultimately, the only person who needs to understand your choices is you. No explanation is needed.