10 things you don’t owe anyone an explanation for, according to psychology

Navigating through life involves making countless decisions, big and small. Often, we find ourselves explaining our actions and choices to others even when we don’t need to.

According to psychology, there are certain things we simply don’t owe anyone an explanation for.

This isn’t about being rude or dismissive, but about understanding and asserting our personal boundaries.

Here are ten things you don’t owe anyone an explanation for. These insights will help you stand your ground without feeling guilty or obliged to justify your choices.

1) Your Personal Boundaries

If there’s one thing that psychology emphasizes, it’s the importance of setting and maintaining personal boundaries.

Boundaries are the invisible lines that define your emotional, physical and mental space. They’re vital for protecting your well-being and cultivating healthy relationships.

Yet, we often feel obligated to explain these boundaries to others. We fear that they might be misunderstood or seen as rude. But here’s the thing – you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your personal boundaries.

As esteemed psychologist Dr. Brené Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

Yyour boundaries are yours to set and uphold. You don’t need to justify them to anyone. It’s not about being selfish or inflexible, but about honouring your needs and values. You have the right to protect your space and energy without feeling guilty or needing to provide a rationale.

2) Your Past

We all have a past. It’s filled with moments of joy, pain, learning, and growth. Sometimes, people feel entitled to know about your past, but remember, it’s your story to tell.

I remember a time when I ran into an old friend at a coffee shop. We started catching up and soon enough, the conversation turned towards my past. She began asking questions about a difficult period in my life. I felt uncomfortable and didn’t want to delve into those memories. So, I politely changed the subject.

Later that day, I felt guilty for not explaining myself. But then I remembered a quote from renowned psychologist Dr. Wayne Dyer, “What other people think of me is none of my business.”

Your past is just that – past. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for it. You have the right to keep personal experiences private until you decide to share them, if at all. 

3) Your Life Choices

Life is a series of choices. What we choose to do with our time, our resources, our hearts – these are deeply personal decisions. Yet, often we find ourselves justifying our life choices to others.

Let me be honest. I’ve spent countless hours explaining why I chose a career in writing over a more ‘stable’ corporate job. Why I live alone instead of with roommates. Why I prefer spending Friday nights curled up with a book instead of partying.

But here’s the raw truth – I don’t owe anyone an explanation for my life choices. And neither do you.

In the wise words of Carl Jung, the father of analytical psychology, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

Your life choices are yours alone to make and you don’t need to justify them to anyone. They reflect your values, your dreams, and what matters most to you. 

4) Your Beliefs

We all have our own set of beliefs – religious, political, philosophical, or otherwise. These beliefs shape our worldview, guide our actions, and give meaning to our lives.

I remember a family gathering a few years ago where my cousin and I got into a heated debate about politics. I found myself trying to explain and justify my political beliefs to him. But do you know what? I realized that I didn’t owe him – or anyone else – an explanation for my beliefs.

As Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis said, “Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.”

Your beliefs are personal. You don’t need to defend them or prove their validity to anyone. They’re a part of who you are. Stand by them with conviction and respect the diversity of beliefs in others.

5) Your Need for Alone Time

In a society that places a high value on socializing and being ‘out there’, wanting some alone time can often be misunderstood.

I’ve always been someone who cherishes my alone time. It’s when I recharge, reflect, and reconnect with myself. But this preference has often been labeled as ‘anti-social’ or ‘introverted’. I used to feel compelled to explain why I needed this time to myself.

But alone time offers a chance for self-reflection and can significantly enhance creativity and productivity.

Being alone allows individuals to act without fear of judgment, giving them the freedom to explore their thoughts and feelings more deeply

The truth is, we don’t owe anyone an explanation for needing alone time. It’s perfectly healthy and necessary for our mental well-being.

It allows us to return to our social lives refreshed and more in tune with ourselves. 

6) Your Relationship Status

In many cultures, being single, especially beyond a certain age, is often met with raised eyebrows and relentless questions. But the reality is – your relationship status is nobody’s business but your own.

Whether you’re single, married, divorced, or it’s complicated, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship status. Your happiness and fulfillment are not dependent on being in a relationship.

Your relationship status is a personal matter. You have every right to keep it private or decide when and with whom you want to share it. It doesn’t define your worth or success. So, no need to explain or justify.

7) Your Dietary Choices

Ever been to a dinner party where your dietary choices become the main topic of conversation? I have, and it’s not fun. Whether you’re vegan, gluten-free, or just trying to eat healthier, it seems everyone has an opinion.

But here’s the thing – what you choose to eat is a personal decision. You may have health reasons, ethical considerations, or simply personal preference guiding your food choices.

Your dietary choices are a part of your lifestyle and values. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for them. 

When someone questions why you’re skipping the meat or passing on the dessert, remember – no explanation needed.

8) Your Appearance

In a world often obsessed with looks, it’s easy to feel judged based on our appearance. The clothes we wear, the style of our hair, our body size – it seems like everyone has something to say about it.

I’ve had my share of unsolicited comments about how I dress or why I don’t wear makeup. But over time, I’ve learned that my appearance is a reflection of my personal style and comfort, not society’s expectations.

Here’s a powerful quote from American psychologist and author, Nathaniel Branden: “The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”

Your appearance is a personal expression of who you are. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for it. Wear what you feel comfortable in, embrace your body as it is, and remember – you are enough just as you are.

9) Your Career Choices

Choosing a non-traditional career path or switching careers later in life often invites unsolicited advice and questioning. But let’s get one thing straight – your career is your business.

Whether you’re a freelance artist, a stay-at-home parent, or a corporate lawyer, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career choices. Your job doesn’t have to fit into someone else’s idea of success.

American psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.”

Your career choices reflect your skills, passions, and life goals. You have the right to choose work that fulfills you without having to justify it to anyone. So forge your own path and let your work speak for itself.

10) Your Self-Care Practices

Self-care is often misunderstood. People might label it as being selfish or indulgent. I remember when I first started setting aside time each day for meditation, some friends didn’t understand why I couldn’t be available during that period.

But as renowned psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Your self-care practices are essential for your mental, physical, and emotional health. Whether it’s a morning run, a weekly spa day, or just some quiet reading time, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself. Prioritize your well-being without feeling the need to justify it.

After all, we can’t pour from an empty cup.