“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”
You’ve probably heard the above quote from Oscar Wilde. He makes it sound so easy to just be yourself.
But the truth is, authenticity is difficult to develop. Society is constantly teaching you to fit inside a box and be a conformist, but our true selves can’t be stereotyped.
The problem is, if you’re not being true to yourself, it’s difficult to get the best out of yourself and make the most of life.
If we want to be happy and fulfilled, we need to learn who we truly are so we can start living authentically and meaningfully.
According to Oprah Winfrey, embracing your true self might make you more successful as well:
“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” – Oprah Winfrey
Authentic people are deeply in tune with who they are and what they want in life. Here are 10 traits of authentic people that they probably don’t realize they’re doing every single day:
1) They let go of negative people
They won’t put up with people who won’t respect them or put them down.
They know the incredible potential that exists inside every human being and refuse to have limiting beliefs shoved in front of them every day.
If they can’t be their true selves when these kinds of people are around, then they’ll simply walk away.
2) They express their true feelings, even when they’re not popular
Authentic people don’t care for being liked by everyone. They’d prefer to stay true to their values and say what they believe.
While this can make them unpopular at times, they’ll always stand up for what’s right.
3) They are confident
When you’ve found out who you truly are, social anxiety and nervousness tend to disappear.
Authentic people don’t care what you think about them, because they are who they are. If you can’t accept that, then you need to take a hike.
Authentic people’s confidence comes from the fact they have nothing to hide.
Is confidence your special trait too? What else makes you unique and exceptional?
To help you find the answer, I’ve created a fun quiz. Answer a few personal questions and I’ll reveal what your personality “superpower” is and how you can utilize it to live your most authentic life.
4) They prefer deep conversations
Meaningless chatter can make an authentic person go insane. Eleanor Roosevelt nailed this one:
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
Authentic people won’t gossip about others. They’re secure with themselves so they don’t have to put other people down to make themselves feel better.
They prefer to talk about things that actually matter.
5) They help others to be their authentic selves
Authentic people don’t expect others to fit into a certain stereotype. They accept people for who they are.
They prefer honesty and people who just “tell how it is” because that’s the best way to get the most out of any conversation.
It can be liberating to be in the presence of an authentic person because you feel free to act however the hell you want to act.
What about in relationships?
They bring out the truest version of their partner.
To learn how to bring out the authentic self of any man, watch this simple and genuine video. The video reveals a natural male instinct that few women know about but the ones who do have a massive advantage in love.
6) They don’t blindly follow advice
Authentic people are logical people. They’ll never accept something unless it agrees with their own common sense.
Just because other people do something doesn’t mean they’re going to follow. They’ll think about it critically and only do it if it makes sense for them.
QUIZ: What’s your hidden superpower? We all have a personality trait that makes us special… and important to the world. Discover YOUR secret superpower with my new quiz. Check out the quiz here.
7) They don’t complain
We all encounter problems in life. Authentic people know this. And they know that there’s no point in blaming other people when shit goes south.
They take whatever actions they need to, but if they can’t fix it, they don’t bother complaining either. They realize that it’s simply wasted energy.
8) They’re internally motivated
When you’re living authentically, you know what you want in life. And when you know what you want, you’re motivated to achieve it however you can.
Whether it’s healthy relationships or a successful job, authentic people will prioritize what’s important to them and focus on what needs to be done.
9) They make the best out of any situation
Authentic people have a healthy perspective on reality. If a challenge presents itself, they won’t deny it or avoid it. They accept things the way are and do their best to change it.
If it can’t be changed, they don’t bother whining about it. They figure out a way to make the best of it.
10) They don’t get stressed when someone doesn’t like them
When you speak your truth and stand up for what you think is right, you’re bound to hurt some people’s feelings. While that’s not an authentic person’s goal, they won’t sugar coat things or avoid a difficult conversation.
They are who they are and you can love it or hate it but I guarantee you won’t change it.
The good news is that learning to be authentic is completely possible.
The best bit?
It will transform your relationships with others for the better.
I learned this from an incredible free video on Love and Intimacy, by world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.
Rudá is a modern-day shaman who gets relationships. Drawing upon his own experiences and the life lessons he’s learned through shamanism, he’ll help you identify negative traits and habits you’ve formed, including being inauthentic.
His powerful techniques will help you reconnect with yourself, face your unhealthy perceptions and behaviors, and rebuild the most important relationship you’ll ever have – the one with yourself.
Thanks to Rudá, I learned how to be authentic, and importantly, transform my relationship with myself and others, so I’d recommend anyone who feels like they can’t be their true selves to watch the video.
You see, the main problem with being inauthentic is it doesn’t work if you want to be truly happy. It sets you up for disappointment, leeches away your energy, and puts you on a nauseating merry-go-round of neediness.
You start to forget your purpose and seek it outside yourself, losing friendships and your own connection with yourself in the race to “get” that one great relationship that will make everything work out.
But it never seems to come.
Putting yourself first
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever your goals are, there’s a hidden trap in how you set them.
The trap is this:
You’ll only experience genuine life satisfaction when your goals are aligned with your values.
Because when values and goals are aligned, you enjoy the journey much more. And this makes achieving your goals much more likely.
If you find it hard to articulate your deeper life values, I suggest downloading the free values exercise by career coach Jeanette Brown.
It takes only a couple of minutes and will reveal a number of powerful insights about your underlying values.
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