10 things about yourself you should never reveal to others (if you want to maintain your reputation)

There’s a fine line between being open and oversharing, especially when it comes to maintaining your reputation.

Some things are best kept to yourself. Sharing them might not only affect how others perceive you but could also give them an upper hand over you.

They say knowledge is power, and in this case, the less others know about certain aspects of your life, the more power you hold.

In this article, we’ll dive into 10 things you should never reveal to others if you want to keep your reputation intact.

Let’s get started. 

1) Personal secrets

We all have secrets. Those hidden corners of our lives that we choose to keep away from the public eye.

While it’s natural to want to share your thoughts and experiences with others, divulging personal secrets can be a slippery slope. It could lead to a change in how others see you, and not always for the better.

Revealing too much can make you vulnerable, and might even be used against you in the future. This doesn’t mean you should bottle up everything inside, but rather, exercise discretion when it comes to what secrets you let out into the world.

Mystery can add to your allure. Keep some things to yourself to maintain a sense of privacy and uphold your reputation.

2) Past mistakes

We all have chapters in our lives that we’re not proud of. Moments where we made mistakes, sometimes big ones. I certainly have my share of them.

I remember a time early in my career when I jumped at a job opportunity without thinking it through. It ended up being a dreadful fit and I left within a month. For a long time, I used to share this story as an ice-breaker or casual conversation at work.

However, I noticed that people started seeing me as impulsive and indecisive. My past mistake was clouding their perception of my present self.

It was then that I realized, while it’s important to learn from our mistakes, it’s equally crucial not to let them define us in the eyes of others.

If you want to maintain your reputation, it’s best to keep such stories for close friends and family rather than professional or social circles where you’re still building your image.

3) Your income

Discussing your income can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can provide transparency and promote a fairer distribution of wealth. On the other hand, it can lead to unnecessary comparisons, jealousy, and even animosity.

A study by Princeton University showed that once a person reaches an income of $75,000 per year, any additional income doesn’t significantly contribute to happiness. However, knowing that someone else earns more than you often leads to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction.

Hence, it’s generally best to avoid talking about your income in social and professional settings. It helps maintain harmony and prevents you from being perceived as boastful or insensitive.

4) Negative opinions about others

It’s natural to form opinions about people based on our interactions with them. However, sharing negative judgments or criticisms can come back to bite you.

People tend to associate the traits you describe in others with you. It’s a psychological phenomenon known as spontaneous trait transference.

If you’re constantly criticizing others, people may start to see you as a critical person. Plus, it can also damage trust and relationships if your words reach the person you were talking about.

Maintaining a positive, constructive conversation about others not only enhances your reputation but also fosters an environment of respect and trust.

5) Family issues

Family matters are often sensitive and deeply personal. Discussing them openly can sometimes make others uncomfortable and even lead them to question your discretion and judgment.

While it’s completely okay to seek advice or share concerns with close friends or a trusted mentor, broadcasting your family issues can make you appear unprofessional, especially in a work environment.

People might also use this information to make assumptions about your personal life that can impact your reputation.

Keep family matters private. It’s not just about keeping up appearances, but also about respecting the privacy of your family members.

6) Personal fears

We all have fears. They’re part of being human. They can serve as our greatest motivators or our most paralyzing roadblocks.

While it’s important to face and overcome our fears, publicly broadcasting them can make us appear vulnerable in a way that might be exploited. It can also shape how others perceive our abilities and competence.

For example, if you fear public speaking and share this openly, others might hesitate to put you in positions where this skill is required, even if you’re working hard to overcome this fear.

Sharing fear is a delicate balance. While it’s important to be authentic, consider how, where, and with whom you share these personal details. Doing so can help maintain your reputation and the respect of others.

7) Health struggles

A few years back, I was diagnosed with a chronic health condition. While it was a tough time for me, I decided to keep it under wraps in my professional circle.

The reason? I didn’t want my health to become a defining factor of my professional identity or capabilities. Because sometimes, people’s sympathy can turn into a form of stereotyping or unconscious bias.

While it’s crucial to communicate necessary information to those who need to know, like your employer for necessary accommodations, sharing too much about your health struggles can inadvertently affect how others perceive your strength and resilience.

You are much more than your health challenges and your reputation should reflect that.

8) Your good deeds

Doing good deeds is commendable, but always talking about them might not have the effect you’d hope. It can sometimes come off as self-promotion or seeking validation, which might lead others to question your genuine intentions.

People who advertise their altruism are viewed as less sincere, reducing the positive impact on their reputation.

When you do something good, let the action speak for itself. Your character will shine through your actions, and that will do wonders for your reputation without you having to say a word.

9) Your ambitions

It’s great to have ambitions. They fuel our drive and motivate us to achieve more. However, constantly talking about your lofty goals might not always be well-received by others.

Sharing your ambitions can sometimes come off as bragging or boasting, which can be off-putting. It can also lead to unnecessary pressure and expectations from others.

Moreover, in a competitive environment, revealing your ambitions might give others a chance to sabotage your progress.

Instead, let your actions speak louder than words. Work towards your ambitions silently and let the results show your determination and hard work.

10) Your personal relationships

Personal relationships are just that – personal. Sharing intimate details about your relationships, be it with your partner, friends, or family members, can lead to a breach of trust and even tarnish your reputation.

Details of your personal relationships can be misconstrued, twisted, or used against you. It can also make the people involved in these relationships uncomfortable or upset.

Keep your personal relationships out of the public eye. Respect the privacy of those close to you and maintain the sanctity of these relationships. Your reputation will thank you for it.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect and discretion

At the heart of it all, maintaining your reputation is rooted in respect and discretion. Respect for yourself, for others, and for the boundaries that separate personal from public.

The age-old adage “Think before you speak” holds true, especially when you consider that once something is shared, it cannot be unsaid.

Ernest Hemingway once wrote, “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” This wisdom can be a guiding principle in our interactions with others.

Choosing not to reveal certain aspects of your life doesn’t mean you’re being deceptive or insincere. It’s about understanding that some things are better left unsaid, for the sake of preserving relationships and maintaining your reputation.

As you navigate your social and professional life, remember that discretion is a skill worth mastering. It’s about finding the balance between transparency and privacy. And this balance is what helps us build and maintain a reputation that reflects who we truly are.