11 surprising signs your ex-girlfriend misses you

We’ve all been there: the breakup has been brutal.

You’ve spent many lonely nights struggling over whether the decision to leave was the right one.

Should I have broken up with her?

Why did she break up with me?

Is she the one who got away?

Does she miss me?

The last one “does she miss me,” always hits the hardest. You just spent months or years of your life together, and now you’re both living solo. It’s natural to miss your former partner, and it’s totally normal to wonder if she misses you back.

But how do you know she misses you? And how do you know if her missing you mean she wants to start again?

Keep reading to find out 11 signs your ex-girlfriend misses you and wants to restart your relationship.

11 Signs your ex-girlfriend misses you

1) She stalks you on the internet

Unless you have willpower of steel, you’ve probably been guilty of this as well.

Your ex is no different. She’s probably keeping tabs on what you’re doing by looking on your Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Snapchat.


She wants to know what you’re up to. She wants to see if you’re going out on dates, seeing anyone…

She wants to see if you have “moved on.”

She may be looking to see if you’ve kept any of your old photos together, or if you’ve practically scrubbed her entirely from your social media.

Now, it’s hard to tell for certain if she’s been stalking you, but a key sign that she’s still on your social media is if you get any likes or comments from her.

Keep an eye on those likes and comments. It just might be her trying to test the waters.

QUIZ: “Does my ex want me back?” If you still love your ex, then you’re probably asking yourself this question. I’ve put together a fun science-based quiz to help you figure it out. Take my quiz here.

2) She dates immediately after your breakup

It’s the classic rebound.

Right after a painful breakup, she looks for companionship in someone else’s arms.

Your ex is a swirling mix of confused emotions, grief, and loneliness. She’s not used to spending her nights and weekends solo, so she’s looking for someone to fill that gap.

She’s not looking for a new love; she’s looking for someone to be a stand-in for her old relationship.

She’s not going to be seriously committed to this new guy. Instead, she’s just using him to paper over her emotional wounds from the breakup. You might even notice that the new guy looks like you or even has some similar personality traits.

Again, she’s just looking for a replacement for you because she misses you.

3) She’s actively making you jealous

Nothing says “I haven’t moved on” more than a bunch of photos saying “look at how much fun I’m having.”

If she’s posting a ton of photos on social media of her hanging out and partying with a bunch of guy friends, odds are that she’s trying to get a rise out of you.

She wants to make you jealous.

She wants you to say something.

It doesn’t necessarily matter if you broke up with her or she broke up with you, if she’s posting photos of her having a good time, the message is strictly for you. She wants it to say “this is my life without you,” but what she’s really saying is “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

This begs the question, what are you doing to make her jealous in return?

Jealousy is a powerful thing; use it to your advantage. But use it wisely.

If you’re feeling adventurous, try this “Jealousy” text

“I think it was a great idea that we decided to start dating other people. I do just want to be friends right now!”

By saying this, you’re telling your ex that you’re actually dating other people right now… which will in turn make her jealous.

This is a good thing.

You’re communicating to your ex that you’re actually wanted by other women. By saying that you’re dating around already, you’re pretty much saying that “it’s your loss!”

The best thing is that you’ll induce a “fear of loss” in your ex which will trigger her attraction for you again.

I learned about this text from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of “the relationship geek”, for good reason.

In this free video, he’ll show you exactly what you can do to make your ex want you again.

No matter what your situation is — or how badly you’ve messed up since the two of you broke up — he’ll give you a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately.

Here’s a link to his free video again. If you really want your ex girlfriend back, this video will help you do this.

4) She keeps contacting you

This is an obvious one: if she’s reaching out to you, she misses you.

Maybe she sends you a text asking how you’re doing. Maybe she keeps bumping into you “randomly” throughout the week. Maybe she mentions that she’d like to come over to get her stuff back.

But whenever it’s time for her to actually come over and rip away the band-aid, she’ll suddenly change her mind. Or she’ll always “forget” to pick up all of her items, meaning she has to come over again and again.

Whatever it is, it usually happens frequently.

If your ex continues to contact you, she’s looking for excuses to talk to you.

If she wants to talk to you, it means she misses you.

5) She keeps talking to your friends

This is a little bit of a sneaky one, so you need to keep in good contact with your friends to make sure they let you know if this happens.

Basically, your ex keeps dropping a line to your friends. What’s she asking about? You, primarily.

She’ll ask how you’ve been, if you’re seeing anyone, if you miss her, all manner of questions that she wants to ask you, but is too scared to actually do in person.

Instead, she tries to make your friends the go-between, making them carry her emotional water.

If she had moved on, she wouldn’t bother asking about you. Instead, she hasn’t moved on at all and wants to know if you feel the same way.

If she’s asking your friends about you, it’s a classic sign that she misses you.

6) She’s talking to your family

This is like sign number five but on steroids. When your ex messages your friends, it’s a pretty solid sign she misses you.

When she reaches out to your family, she’s desperate.

She viewed your family as practically her family. When you broke up, she lost that connection.

Now, as your ex, she’s trying to leverage that connection to your family in order to keep tabs on you.

Even more than that, she may be secretly trying to win your family over, to try and get them to convince you to give the relationship another try.

If your mom drops a line that she spoke to your ex out of the blue, take the hint: your ex misses you.

QUIZ: To help you work out whether your ex wants you back, I’ve created a brand new quiz. I’m going to tell it to you straight based on your own situation. Check out my quiz here.

7) Want advice specific to your situation?

While this article explores the main signs your ex-girlfriend misses you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like dealing with an ex-girlfriend. They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

8) She’s flirting with you

Sometimes signs are so obvious that we think they can’t possibly be real.

There’s no way she’s flirting with me, we broke up!


If your ex is flirting with you, she wants you back.

Every girl flirts a little differently, but you’ll know her style of flirting because you two were already an item.

Maybe she continuously compliments you. Maybe she sends you sweet messages.

Maybe she just texts you saying “thinking of you.”

Whatever the case is, if she’s flirting with you, she’s making a play to get you back.

And if she’s trying to get you back, it’s because she misses having you in her life.

When you feel your ex is flirting with you, you really need to decide whether you want to give the relationship another try before you flirt back. There is no casual flirting with an ex.

9) She’s looking to fight

If your ex is always picking a fight for no apparent reason, odds are she really misses you.


Because you’re broken up. You had the ultimate conflict. The resolution was you stopped seeing each other.

That means that you don’t need to fight anymore. There is nothing to fight about because you’re no longer trying to solve anything.

So, why would your ex pick a fight?

Because she’s just trying to find a way for you to pay attention to her.

If you’re getting hopped up and then spending your time arguing with her over text, you’re now devoting a ton of time to her. You’re giving her the attention she needs.

She needs attention from you because she misses you. You need to realize that before you jump into the argument.

Do you want to get back together with her? Take this as a sign she’s not over you and makes the first move.

10) She can’t stop talking about you

Your ex-girlfriend talks about you to everyone who gives her a minute. This means your ex-girlfriend misses you.

Just because she misses you, it doesn’t mean she’s going to always say nice things about you behind your back. Be prepared for her to swap between talking badly about you and singing your praises the next minute.

The main important thing is that you’re still on her mind. No matter how she tries to hide it, she can’t stop thinking about you and talking about you.

If your friends mention that your ex won’t stop talking about you, take the hint: your ex-girlfriend misses you.

11) She gets jealous

Just like she was trying to make you jealous earlier, you’ll find that everything you do seems to make her insanely jealous.

Post a pic with you and a new date? Be prepared for an onslaught of texts from your ex.

She’s not going to like that you’re moving on, and she’ll let you know this through messages, calls, or even hints dropped from mutual friends.

If your ex reacts negatively after you’ve started to move on, you can bet that she’s deeply missing you.

Wrapping up

It’s not that tricky to find out if your ex misses you. There are plenty of key signs that indicate she hasn’t lost interest. If she keeps up the communication (whether positive or negative) or seems to always be asking about you, you can be pretty sure she’s still interested in you and wants to get back together.

The trick is figuring out how you feel about giving your relationship a second chance.

If you’re unsure whether it’s a good idea to try and rekindle a failed romance, you might want to turn to an expert.

My brother, Justin, has recently been working with a shaman, Ruda Iande, who specializes in diving into our own psyches to bring out the best in us.

And right now he’s teaching a free masterclass on Love and Intimacy that helps you attract genuine and meaningful relationships in your life.

If you’re thinking about giving your ex another shot, you should check out Ruda’s class to help yourself build an aura of personal power.

After all, you’ll want your relationship to work this time, right?

I have a question for you…

Do you really want to get back with your ex?

If you answered ‘yes’, then you need a plan of attack to get them back.

Forget the naysayers who warn you never to get back with your ex. Or those who say your only option is to move on with your life. If you still love your ex, then getting back with them may be the best way forward.

The simple truth is that getting back with your ex can work.

There are 3 things to you need to do now that you’re broken up:

1) Work out why you broke up in the first place

2) Become a better version of yourself so you don’t end up in a broken relationship again (that’s why you should check out Rudda Iande’s masterclass)

3) Formulate a plan of attack to get them back.

If you want some help with number 3 (“the plan”), then Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor is the guide I always recommend. I’ve read the book cover to cover and I believe it’s the most effective guide to getting your ex back currently available.

If you want to learn more about his program, check out this free video by Brad Browning.

Getting your ex to say, “I made a huge mistake”

The Ex Factor isn’t for everyone.

In fact, it’s for a very specific person: a person who has experienced a break-up and legitimately believes the breakup was a mistake.

This is a book that details a series of psychological, flirting, and (some would say) sneaky steps that a person can take in order to win back their ex.

The Ex Factor has one goal: to help you win back an ex.

If you’ve been broken up with, and you want to take specific steps to make your ex think “hey, that person is actually amazing, and I made a mistake”, then this is the book for you.

That is the crux of this program: getting your ex to say “I made a huge mistake.”

As for numbers 1 and 2, then you’ll have to do some self-reflection on your own about that.

What else do you need to know?

Brad’s Browning’s program is easily the most comprehensive and effective guide to getting your ex back you’ll find online.

As a certified relationship counselor, and with decades of experience working with couples to repair broken relationships, Brad knows what he’s talking about. He offers dozens of unique ideas that I’ve never read anywhere else.

Brad claims that over 90% of all relationships can be salvaged, and while that may sound unreasonably high, I tend to think he’s on the money.

I’ve been in contact with too many Hack Spirit readers who are happily back with their ex to be a skeptic.

Here’s a link to Brad’s free video again. If you want a foolproof plan to actually get your ex back, then Brad will give you one.

FREE eBook: 4 Steps to Starting Over With An Ex

Do you want to get back with your ex?

Then you need to check out our FREE eBook, The Ex Back Handbook.

We have one goal in mind with this book: to help you win back an ex (for good!).

If you want a foolproof plan to reverse your break up, you’re going to love this guide.

Check it out here.


Disclosure: This post is brought to you by the Hack Spirit review team. In our reviews, Hack Spirit highlights products and services that you might find interesting. If you buy them, we receive a small commission from that sale. However, we only ever recommend products that we have personally investigated and truly feel could be valuable to you. Read our affiliate disclosure here. We welcome your feedback at reviews@hackspirit.com.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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