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10 surefire ways to get you out of the friend zone

I can still remember the day I told my crush I liked them.

Beads of sweats formed in my forehead and with all the courage I could muster, I finally admitted my feelings.

Fortunately, my crush did like me too……. as a friend.

Ouch, I know.

The ‘friend zone,’ sadly, is just another form of rejection.

And rejected, we all have been. Chances are, you also went through the same zone.

According to UrbanDictionary, the friend zone is –

“a particularly aggravating metaphorical place, that people end up in when someone they are interested in only wants to be friends.” 

In short, it’s a place you should try to avoid.

But since life is very unpredictable and some feelings are too strong to control, you sometimes end up crushing on a person you’re not supposed to have feelings for.

That’s where the friend zone begins.

As scary as it might sound, some people do make it out alive from that dreaded zone, and with the use of some techniques, you could too.

Here are some ways that could help you.

10 Surefire ways to get you out of the friend zone

Listen up.

1. Make sure you want to get out of the friend zone.

Before making any attempts to get out, ask yourself, “Do I really want something more from this person?”

If the answer is yes, then by all means, go ahead and try.

But if it’s a no, it’s probably better to move on and be happy with the friendship.

Try weighing the possible outcomes and then make your decision with a rational mind to avoid putting your friendship in jeopardy.

2. Spend more time with that person

If you want to be more than friends with your crush, try getting to know them first. By doing this, you’re letting them adjust and get comfortable in your presence.

On the other hand, if you are already friends with the said person, try to spend more time with them and let your friendship grow.

A great friendship is a strong foundation for a potential romantic relationship.

3. Assess the friendship.

Before admitting your feelings, it’s good to know if you have any real chance with the person you like.

Are they showing any signs that they like you, too?

If yes, you can start planning on when and how you would tell them about your feelings.

If no, it’s best to take more time and slowly build momentum before you admit your feelings to them.

Assess. Think. Plan.

4. Find the right timing.

If you see signs that they might like you too and you’re now planning on telling them – choose an appropriate day and time.

Timing is key.

If they are in a bad mood lately, try telling them next time when their mood lightens up.

Being yelled at while you admit your heartfelt feelings is the last thing you want to happen.

Be sensitive with their situation and choose the right time.

5. Tell them.

When you’ve finally decided to tell them how you feel, two things can happen:

  1. They like you too and you both live happily ever after!

or

2. They like you too… but only as a friend.

If it’s the former then congratulations! You just earned your ticket out of the friend zone.

But if it’s the latter, don’t worry, the game isn’t over…yet.

Let’s continue the list.

6. Don’t shower them with interest.

We know you like them. But don’t give it your all just yet.

Telling your crush you like them and not batting an eye on them the next day might help you spark their interest.

Nothing’s more frustrating when someone tells you they like you and then they suddenly don’t want you the next day.

Knowing someone is interested in you is very flattering and being liked by other people boosts your self-esteem.

It’s part of human nature to like being liked.

When you withdraw your interest from them, your crush might feel betrayed and they might feel the need to earn your attention back.

Start acting uninterested and increase your chances of winning.

7. Reduce communication.

If you’re still perpetually texting and messaging your crush, stop. You’ll only push yourself further into the friend zone.

Avoid all contact and don’t like and comment on their social media posts.

Let your crush miss you.

Acknowledge them when they talk to you but don’t act desperate and don’t beg for them to like you back.

If possible, let them contact you first.

Just make sure not to reply right away when they do, or else, your plan would be useless.

8. Make yourself unavailable.

If you’re always available, people will take you for granted.

Same goes to your crush.

If you always say yes to them and make yourself too available, they wouldn’t value your presence.

Try hanging out with other people and spending more time with yourself.

Soon enough, your crush will miss your presence and who knows? Maybe they’ll realize that they like too.

In the meantimeime, try making yourself busy, wait, and be patient.

9. Make yourself better.

Try focusing on yourself for a while and improve other aspects of your life.

You can try getting a haircut or a new style. Work towards self-development.

Spend time with your close friends and family and bond with the people you love.

This keeps your mind off things instead of moping around from rejection.

Just remember to change not for other people, but for yourself.

10. Accept and move on.

If you have tried everything and you’re still labeled as a ‘friend’, learn to accept it and move on. That person isn’t probably for you.

Know when to stop and when to continue.

As much as you hate it, you can’t force people into feeling things that they don’t feel.

All you can do is accept it and get on with life.

If you find it hard moving on, try finding closure with this person and tell them exactly how you feel.

Say what you mean and let them understand your side. If staying away from them a little while might help you move on, tell them so they can give you space and time to heal.

Whatever you decide to do, always remember to accept the rejection with gracefulness, and believe that the right one for you is still out there.

You just have to wait and be patient until that moment comes.

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Written by Justin Brown

I co-founded Ideapod, a digital media platform that provides commentary on the ideas shaping our lives. To see my latest work, follow me on Facebook.

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