Lachlan Brown
Ever thought, “Is this the right person for me?”
It’s a huge question. And you’re definitely not alone in asking it. Sometimes, it feels like you’d need some magic to be sure. But hold on—psychology might just have some practical clues for us.
We’re keeping things super straightforward. No complex jargon, no confusing concepts—just plain, clear signs that point to someone being really special.
Forget about all those Hollywood romances; we’re talking about real life and how you know when someone fits into yours perfectly.
Ready to dive in?
Let’s go through 10 simple signs that could mean you’ve found your perfect match, all backed by psychology.
1. You’re comfortable being yourself
Think about the times you’re lounging in your old comfy clothes, hair a mess, and you’re just… you. No show, no impressing anyone.
If you can do this around someone, and they still look at you like you’re the best thing since sliced bread, that’s a solid gold sign.
Psychology tells us that being able to be our true selves with another person is a core component of a healthy and happy relationship.
It’s like what Carl Rogers, the famous psychologist, once said: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
Being able to be your real, unedited self with someone else is a huge part of what makes a relationship healthy and happy.
If your partner gets a front-row seat to your unglamorous, unfiltered self and still thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread, then you’ve probably hit the jackpot.
It means they’re not just into the ‘best’ version of you, but all the versions of you. And that’s pretty awesome.
2. They’re your cheerleader
It’s not just about finding someone who’s there for the tough times. A right person is also there, pom-poms in hand, cheering for your victories, big or small.
If you’ve got someone who celebrates your successes like they’re their own, psychologists would nod in approval.
That kind of support reflects a deep connection and genuine love. It’s about being each other’s fan club president – if you’ve got that, you’re onto something pretty awesome.
Remember what William James, often referred to as the father of American psychology, said: “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
This hits right at the heart of it. When someone celebrates your achievements like they’re their own, it shows a level of connection and love that’s really deep.
3. You tackle problems together
We can all agree that life’s not always a smooth ride
There was this one time my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I was freaking out, but instead of letting me handle it alone, my partner was right there on the phone with me, helping to figure it out.
We ended up laughing about it later over pizza we ordered as a ‘car breakdown celebration.’
That’s the thing – when you’re with the right person, challenges don’t feel as scary because you face them as a team.
Carl Jung, a giant in the field of psychology, once said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
This quote beautifully encapsulates the idea of tackling problems together.
When you’re in a relationship where both of you can come together to face challenges, it’s not just the problems that are being addressed – it’s the relationship itself that’s growing and evolving.
4. You communicate without words
When you’re with the right person, sometimes a look or a gesture is all it takes to convey a message. It’s like you’ve got this secret language that only the two of you understand.
If you find yourself nodding, laughing, or handing over the remote without a word spoken, it’s not just convenient – it’s a sign of deep connection and understanding,
Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 Communication model says 7% of communication is words, 38% through tone and voice and 55% through body language.
This means that our non-verbal communication, like facial expressions and body language, can say a lot about our thoughts and feelings.
If you’re in a relationship where you can communicate volumes without uttering a single word, where a simple look can convey a whole story, that’s something special.
It shows a level of understanding and connection that’s pretty rare and definitely worth celebrating.
5. They know your storms
Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows; sometimes, it’s thunderstorms and lightning. And it’s in those stormy times that true connections shine. If you’ve got someone who not only stands by you when the skies turn grey but also knows exactly how to calm your inner storms, cherish them.
They’ve taken the time to understand what makes you tick, what soothes your soul, and what words can act as an umbrella on your cloudy days.
Psychologists agree that this level of empathy and understanding is a heartwarming indicator of emotional intimacy and a bond that’s strong and true.
6. You laugh together
I’ll never forget the time my partner and I ended up in a fit of giggles in the middle of a fancy restaurant because of an inside joke.
Everyone looked at us like we were crazy, but in that moment, nothing else mattered. Sharing laughter is so important.
It’s not about having the same sense of humor, but about finding joy in each other’s laughter.
According to one study, there’s a correlation between couples who laugh a lot together and report being satisfied with their partner.
It’s about finding someone who not only gets your jokes but laughs with you through life’s ups and downs.
Trust me, when you find someone who makes your stomach hurt from laughing so much, you’ve found something special.
7. You accept the flaws
Let’s get real for a second. We all have flaws. I mean, I can be a bit forgetful, and sometimes I lose my keys or wallet, which drives some people nuts.
But here’s the kicker: when you’ve found the right person, they don’t just put up with your quirks—they embrace them.
They might even love you more for them because it’s all part of the package that makes you, well, you. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being perfect for each other.
Psychology backs this up too; accepting each other’s imperfections is a sign of a mature and healthy relationship.
Alice Boyes Ph.D. says in Psychology Today that when it comes to improving your experience of your relationship, it can often be helpful to become more accepting of your partner’s strengths and weaknesses.
When someone embraces your flaws instead of criticizing them, it’s like a breath of fresh air. It’s love in its most honest form.
8. You share core values
You’ve probably heard the saying ‘opposites attract,’ but when it comes down to the nitty-gritty, having shared core values is like the secret sauce to a lasting relationship.
It’s not about both loving horror movies or being morning people; it’s deeper than that. It’s about agreeing on the big stuff – like how to handle money, what family means to you, or how you view honesty and integrity.
Psychology says that couples who align on these fundamental beliefs tend to navigate life’s waters more smoothly.
If you and your partner see eye-to-eye on the big-picture values, psychology says you’ve got a solid foundation that’s worth its weight in gold.
9. You grow together
I remember looking back at old photos of my partner and me from when we first met, and it’s not just our hairstyles that have changed.
We’ve both evolved in our careers, hobbies, and outlook on life. Growing alongside someone is a personal journey that’s doubly rewarding when shared.
It’s about pushing each other to be better, not in a competitive way, but in a ‘let’s see how high we can climb together’ kind of way.
When you’re with the right person, your personal growth journeys intertwine and propel both of you forward. It’s as if your relationship is a greenhouse where both of you can flourish.
10. You feel safe to be vulnerable
Now, let’s strip away the pretense for a second. Being vulnerable isn’t easy; it’s like walking a tightrope without a safety net. But with the right person, you don’t need a net. I’ve had moments where I’ve laid it all out on the table – my fears, my hopes, the messy parts of my past – and instead of judgment, I found open arms. That safety to be completely raw and open, to share the parts of you that you don’t show just anyone, is rare.
A quote from Brené Brown, a well-known researcher on vulnerability, encapsulates this perfectly: “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.”
This highlights how being vulnerable with someone is not just about exposing your weaknesses, but it’s about opening the door to a deeper, more meaningful connection.
When you find someone who treats your vulnerability as a precious gift, that’s when you know you’ve got something real.
It’s scary, but in the best possible way, because it means you’re truly connecting on every level.
Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.
