Lachlan Brown
It’s often said that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. But what if those people, unbeknownst to you, don’t want you to succeed?
Surrounding yourself with positive influences is crucial for personal growth and success. However, sometimes, the people closest to us secretly hope we’ll fail. It’s a harsh reality that psychology can help us understand.
In this article, we’re diving into the ten telltale signs that you’re surrounded by people who covertly want you to fall short of your goals.
Let’s get started.
1) They downplay your success
Psychology tells us that one of the most evident signs of a person who doesn’t want you to succeed is their reaction to your achievements.
Imagine you’ve just landed a new job or received a promotion. You’re excited and eager to share this news with the people closest to you. But instead of sharing in your joy, they downplay your accomplishment or quickly change the subject.
This form of subtle sabotage is a clear signal that they may not want you to succeed. It’s a trait often seen in individuals who feel threatened by the success of others.
Your accomplishments are worth celebrating, no matter how others react.
2) They never seem to have time for you
One thing I’ve personally come across on my journey to success is the sudden unavailability of some friends.
For instance, when I started my own business, I found that people who were once close started becoming distant. They’d always be “too busy” when I asked for advice or wanted to share my experiences.
This consistent lack of time and interest can be a sign that they secretly don’t want you to succeed. It’s as if they don’t want to contribute to your growth or be there to witness it.
It’s crucial to recognize this and surround yourself with people who are willing to take time out to support you in your endeavors.
3) They’re quick to point out your failures
Have you noticed how some people seem to focus on your mistakes while brushing off your successes? It’s like they’re just waiting for you to slip up so they can call it out.
This kind of behavior is more common than you might think. People who don’t want to see you thrive are often the first to highlight your setbacks—and they might even enjoy doing it.
Not only is this discouraging, but it also creates a toxic vibe that can hold you back. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with people who give constructive feedback. The kind of people who help you learn and grow, instead of using your failures as a chance to tear you down.
4) They seldom encourage your ideas
Support and encouragement can make all the difference when you’re chasing your goals. But have you ever noticed how some people seem to hold back on giving you that boost?
Instead of cheering you on, they might dismiss your ideas or subtly discourage you by pointing out every possible flaw. Sure, they might frame it as “practical advice,” but the constant negativity can crush your creativity and drain your motivation.
The good news? Recognizing this behavior is the first step. It’s a reminder to seek out people who believe in you, lift you up, and inspire you to aim high. Those are the ones who’ll help you reach your full potential.
5) They gossip about you
Gossip might seem harmless, but it can seriously damage relationships, trust, and even your own personal growth.
If someone in your circle is frequently gossiping about you—especially in a negative way—it’s a clear red flag that they might not have your best interests at heart.
These individuals often spread rumors or share your private information without permission, chipping away at your reputation and confidence.
It’s a toxic habit that can hold you back and create unnecessary stress, and the sooner you distance yourself from this behavior, the better off you’ll be.
6) They don’t celebrate your achievements
Every victory on the road to success, no matter how small, is worth celebrating. It’s these occasions that keep us motivated and eager to reach our next goal. However, you may notice that some people never seem to share in your excitement or joy.
Instead of celebrating with you, they might remain indifferent or even express subtle disapproval. This lack of enthusiasm can be incredibly disheartening and can dampen your own joy.
It’s essential to remember that your achievements are significant, and they deserve to be celebrated. Surround yourself with those who will cheer you on every step of the way because they truly want to see you succeed.
7) They’re competitive in a harmful way
Competition can be healthy, driving us to improve and achieve more. However, there’s a fine line between healthy competition and a destructive rivalry.
I recall a time when a close friend started viewing my success as a threat to theirs. Instead of celebrating our individual achievements, everything became a competition. My victories were met with jealousy and bitterness instead of joy and pride.
This sort of unhealthy competitiveness can create a toxic environment, hindering your progress rather than propelling it.
8) They’re overly critical, even when it’s unwarranted
While constructive criticism is a valuable tool for growth, there’s a difference between helpful feedback and unwarranted negativity. Some individuals may consistently focus on your flaws, even in situations where it’s not necessary or relevant.
This might seem like they’re just trying to help you improve, but constant negativity can erode your self-confidence and stifle your growth.
It’s important to discern between those who offer genuine, constructive feedback and those who use criticism as a tool to undermine your success.
9) They never ask about your progress
Passionate interest in your journey is a clear sign of someone who genuinely wants you to succeed. But have you noticed how some people never ask about your progress or seem curious about your projects?
This lack of curiosity can be a subtle but telling sign of indifference toward your success. It’s almost as if they’d rather not hear about your wins or milestones. Whether it’s intentional or not, this behavior can make you feel undervalued and unmotivated.
Genuine supporters will celebrate your achievements and show interest in your journey because they truly care about your growth and happiness.
10) They make you feel inferior
The most critical sign that someone doesn’t want you to succeed is how they make you feel about yourself. Those who secretly don’t want you to succeed often try to make you feel inferior or less capable than you truly are.
They may belittle your abilities, undermine your confidence, or consistently make you feel like you’re not good enough. This can be subtle yet profoundly damaging.
No one should have the power to make you feel inferior without your consent.
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