10 signs you’re giving way too much and people are taking advantage of you

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Do you ever feel like you’re doing a lot for other people but not getting much back?

You’re not alone.

Sometimes, it’s hard to know if you’re just being nice or if people are taking advantage of you.

In this article, we’ll talk about 10 signs that show you might be giving too much.

If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to think about setting some limits.

Being nice is great, but not if it’s hurting you.

1. You’re Always the One Reaching Out

Do you find yourself always being the one to call, text, or make plans?

If yes, take a step back.

Friendships and relationships should be a two-way street. If you’re the only one putting in the effort, something’s off.

It’s not just about keeping score, but about feeling valued and respected.

If you’re always the one reaching out, it’s time to ask yourself: Are these people really your friends, or are they just around when it’s convenient for them?

2. You’re the “Go-To” Problem Solver, But Who’s Yours?

Ever notice that your phone blows up only when someone needs advice or a favor? I’ve been there, and it’s not a great feeling.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome to be the person people can count on. But what happens when you’re the one in a jam?

If you’re scratching your head trying to remember the last time someone offered to help you out, that’s a red flag.

Being the reliable friend is great, but it shouldn’t be a one-sided deal. You deserve to have a support system too, not just be one for others.

3. Saying “Yes” Makes You Feel Guilty, Not Good

Wait, what? Shouldn’t saying “yes” to helping someone make you feel like a good person? Well, not always.

If you find yourself saying “yes” because you’re afraid of what people will think if you say “no,” that’s a problem.

You might think you’re doing the right thing, but deep down, you feel guilty or anxious. That’s because you’re not saying “yes” out of kindness; you’re saying it out of fear.

Believe it or not, sometimes saying “no” is the kinder thing to do—for yourself and for others. It sets boundaries and allows relationships to be built on genuine care, not obligation.

4. You’re Drained, and Nobody Notices—or Cares

You’re tired. Not just “need a nap” tired, but soul-deep exhausted. And the worst part? No one seems to notice, or if they do, they don’t seem to care.

You’ve been giving so much of yourself that you’re running on empty. You’re always there for everyone else, but when you’re falling apart, it’s like you’re invisible.

It’s a harsh truth, but if the people around you can’t see your struggle or don’t bother to ask how you’re doing, they’re not your people. Period.

You’re not a bottomless well of support; you’re a human being who needs care and attention too.

5. You Celebrate Alone

Remember that time you got that big promotion or aced that difficult exam? You were over the moon, right? But when you looked around to share the joy, it was like throwing a party where no one showed up.

I’ve felt that loneliness, and let me tell you, it’s a wake-up call.

It’s not just about the big moments, either. Even the small wins deserve a high-five or a “way to go!” If the people in your life can’t be bothered to celebrate with you, then you’ve got to ask yourself why you’re so invested in celebrating them.

Life’s milestones are way too precious to celebrate alone. You deserve a cheerleading squad just as much as anyone else.

6. You’re Always the Backup Plan, Never the Priority

Ever get the feeling you’re just an option in someone’s life, not a priority? Like you’re the friend people call when their first-choice plans fall through?

That’s not a great place to be.

If you’re always the backup plan, it’s a clear sign you’re giving more than you’re getting. True friends and loved ones make time for you, not just use you to fill gaps in their schedule.

You deserve to be someone’s first choice, not a last-minute thought.

7. You Feel Resentful, But Keep It to Yourself

If you’re starting to feel a little bitter or resentful but keep those feelings bottled up, that’s a big red flag.

It’s natural to feel upset when you’re giving a lot and not getting much in return. But if you’re not speaking up because you’re afraid of confrontation or losing the relationship, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

Resentment is like a slow leak in a tire; it might not cause a blowout right away, but it’s definitely making the journey harder than it needs to be.

Speak your truth. If they care, they’ll listen. If they don’t, well, you’ve got your answer.

8. You’re Always Apologizing, Even When It’s Not Your Fault

Have you ever found yourself saying “sorry” just to keep the peace, even when you’ve done nothing wrong? I know I have, and it’s a slippery slope.

Apologizing when you’re not at fault is like giving away little pieces of your self-respect. Sure, it might avoid a fight in the moment, but at what cost?

You shouldn’t have to apologize for having feelings, setting boundaries, or simply existing. If you’re always the one saying sorry, it’s time to ask yourself why you’re willing to take the blame just to make someone else comfortable.

You’re worth more than that.

9. You’re Afraid to Be Alone, So You Settle for Less

Sometimes, we let people take advantage of us because we’re afraid of being alone. It’s like we think a bad relationship or a one-sided friendship is better than none at all.

But let’s get real. Being alone is infinitely better than being with people who make you feel alone.

If you’re clinging to relationships where you’re clearly being used or undervalued, you’re not just hurting yourself—you’re also blocking the path for better, more genuine connections to enter your life.

You’re not a doormat. Don’t let anyone treat you like one.

10. You Think You’re Selfish for Wanting More

You might think wanting more for yourself is selfish. But guess what? It’s not. In fact, it’s the complete opposite.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. The more you take care of yourself, the better you can care for others. Wanting more isn’t about being selfish; it’s about recognizing your own worth.

If you’re constantly giving and not receiving, you’re not being generous—you’re being depleted. And a depleted you isn’t good for anyone, least of all yourself.

So, go ahead, be “selfish.” Demand more. It’s the most selfless thing you can do.


If you nodded along to any of these, it’s time for some soul-searching and boundary-setting.

Remember, it’s not about becoming cold or selfish; it’s about finding a balance. You can be kind, generous, and still look out for yourself. In fact, you should. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one person you’ll always have.

It’s time to stop selling yourself short. You deserve relationships that are as good to you as you are to them. So go ahead, reclaim your time, your energy, and most importantly, your self-worth.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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