10 signs you’re actually not an easy person to get along with, according to psychology

Navigating social situations can be a tricky business.

Sometimes, we may wonder why we’re finding it hard to click with people or why we often feel misunderstood. If this sounds familiar, it’s possible you might not be as easy to get along with as you think.

According to psychology, there are certain telltale signs that point to this. And being aware of these signs is the first step in becoming a better friend, colleague, or partner.

So let’s delve into it. Here are 10 signs you’re not as easy to get along with as you might think.

1) You’re often the center of conflict

Navigating the social world can sometimes feel like navigating a minefield.

And if you often find yourself at the center of disagreements or conflicts, it might be a sign that you’re not an easy person to get along with.

According to psychology, people who frequently engage in conflict often have difficulty in understanding and managing their own emotions. This can make it challenging for them to interact effectively with others.

It’s not about avoiding disagreements altogether (after all, conflict is a natural part of human interaction), but about how we handle them. If your first instinct is to escalate the situation or to win at all costs, you might need to reconsider your approach.

2) You struggle to empathize with others

Let me tell you about something that I had to learn the hard way.

In my early twenties, I had a friend who was going through a tough time. She was dealing with a messy breakup and was clearly hurting. But instead of offering a listening ear, I found myself constantly trying to give her advice or to tell her to “just move on.”

One day, she confronted me about it. She told me that while she appreciated my advice, what she really needed was someone to simply understand and empathize with what she was going through.

That was a wake-up call for me. I realized that I was so caught up in trying to “fix” her problem, that I forgot to simply be there for her.

The inability to empathize with others is a classic sign of being hard to get along with. It’s not enough to just listen to someone’s problems, we also need to try and understand their feelings and perspectives.

3) You have a hard time admitting your mistakes

Did you know that the fear of being wrong is actually a recognized phobia? It’s called Atelophobia, and it can drive people to go to great lengths to avoid admitting their mistakes.

If you find it extremely difficult to admit when you’re wrong, it might be an indicator that you’re not easy to get along with. This reluctance can make it hard for others to communicate with you and can create a barrier in your relationships.

Admitting mistakes is a sign of humility and shows that you value the relationship more than your ego. It’s not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength and maturity.

Nobody’s perfect. We all mess up. The important thing is to acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on.

4) You are not open to other’s ideas

Ever found yourself dismissing someone’s idea before they’ve even finished explaining it? Or have you caught yourself feeling irritated when someone suggests a different approach to a task?

If this rings true, it might be an indicator that you’re not as easy to get along with as you think. Being closed off to other people’s ideas can come across as arrogant and dismissive.

Psychology tells us that open-mindedness is a key trait for successful social interactions. It shows respect for others’ thoughts and perspectives, encourages collaboration, and can lead to innovative solutions.

When someone presents a new idea, try to listen fully before jumping to conclusions. Remember, there’s always something new we can learn from others.

5) You don’t respect boundaries

We all have our comfort zones and personal boundaries, and respecting these is crucial for healthy relationships.

If you often find yourself overstepping other people’s boundaries, whether it’s by prying into their personal life or not respecting their time or space, this is a clear sign you might not be an easy person to get along with.

Respecting boundaries isn’t just about avoiding uncomfortable situations. It’s about demonstrating empathy and understanding. It shows that you value the other person’s feelings and personal space.

When you’re tempted to push someone’s boundaries, take a step back. Everyone has a right to their personal space, and respecting that is key to getting along with others.

6) You struggle to celebrate others’ success

Life is a journey filled with highs and lows, and one of the most beautiful parts of this journey is sharing our successes with those close to us.

If you find it hard to genuinely feel happy for others when they succeed, or worse, if their success makes you feel insecure or envious, this can be a sign that you’re not easy to get along with.

True friendships and healthy relationships thrive on mutual support and celebration. When we cheer on the achievements of those around us, we create a positive environment where everyone feels valued and encouraged.

Another person’s success does not diminish your own. There’s enough sunshine for everyone. 

7) You often feel misunderstood

I remember a time when I felt like no one really understood me. I’d say one thing, and people would take it another way. It was frustrating and isolating.

But then, I realized that the problem wasn’t with everyone else – it was with me. I wasn’t communicating effectively. I was speaking but not making sure that I was being understood.

Feeling constantly misunderstood can be a sign that you’re not easy to get along with. It might mean that you’re not expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly, or perhaps you’re not taking the time to ensure others understand your perspective.

Effective communication is key to any healthy relationship. So, take the time to clarify your thoughts and express yourself clearly. And if someone doesn’t understand, be patient and try explaining it in a different way. It’s not just about being heard, it’s about being understood.

8) You’re always the life of the party

It might surprise you, but being the life of the party isn’t always a good thing.

If you’re always the center of attention, dominating conversations, and making every gathering about you, it could be a sign that you’re not as easy to get along with as you think.

While it’s great to be sociable and outgoing, it’s equally important to share the spotlight. Relationships are about give and take. Dominating conversations or constantly seeking attention can make others feel overlooked and undervalued.

While it’s great to shine, it’s also important to let others sparkle too. Everyone has a story to tell, and everyone deserves to be heard.

9) You don’t show appreciation

We all crave recognition and appreciation in our lives. It’s a basic human need.

If you rarely express gratitude or acknowledge others’ efforts, it might be a sign that you’re not easy to get along with. Failing to show appreciation can make others feel unvalued and taken for granted.

A simple thank you can go a long way. It shows that you acknowledge the effort and time someone has put into something. It fosters a sense of mutual respect and admiration.

It doesn’t take much to express gratitude, but the impact can be profound. So don’t forget to appreciate the people around you and the little things they do.

10) You’re not self-aware

The cornerstone of being easy to get along with is self-awareness.

If you’re not aware of your own behaviors, feelings, and how they impact others, it can be difficult to maintain healthy relationships. Self-awareness allows us to recognize our strengths and weaknesses and understand how we are perceived by others.

Becoming more self-aware isn’t always easy – it requires honesty, introspection, and sometimes even a bit of courage. But it’s one of the most important steps in becoming a better friend, colleague, or partner.

Take the time to reflect on your actions and their impacts. It’s only through understanding ourselves that we can truly understand others.

Final thoughts: It’s about growth

One of the most profound lessons that psychology teaches us is the power of self-growth and self-improvement.

Recognizing traits in ourselves that may make us difficult to get along with isn’t an exercise in self-criticism. Instead, it’s about understanding ourselves better and using that understanding to grow and evolve.

So if you’ve recognized some of these signs in yourself, don’t despair. Use it as a catalyst for change. Remember, it’s not about being perfect, but about being better than we were yesterday.

And as Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century, once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

So let’s embark on this journey of self-improvement together. After all, it’s through understanding and improving ourselves that we can form deeper and more meaningful connections with others.