10 signs you love each other a lot, but you just weren’t meant to be

There’s a vast difference between loving someone and being meant for them.

The distinction lies in compatibility. Loving someone is about cherishing them, enjoying their company, and wanting the best for them. But being meant for each other? That’s about fitting together like puzzle pieces, harmonizing life goals, and growing in the same direction.

Sometimes, you can love someone deeply, but the fit just isn’t right. And it’s crucial to recognize the signs that you and your partner might fall into this category.

In this article, I’ll share ten signs that you love each other a lot, but you just weren’t meant to be.

These are subtle clues that may help you understand better why things aren’t quite working out, despite the love you share.

1) Constant compromise

Love often requires some level of compromise. That’s a given. But when you find that your relationship is more about compromise than shared joy, it’s a clear sign something isn’t right.

Healthy relationships strike a balance between give and take. But when you’re always the one bending, constantly reshaping your desires and plans to fit your partner’s, things can get unhealthy real fast.

Remember, it’s okay to love someone deeply, but it’s also essential to love yourself enough to know when a relationship is more draining than fulfilling.

This constant compromise can be a subtle sign that you love each other a lot, but perhaps, you just weren’t meant to be. It’s tough to accept, but recognizing it can pave the way for healthier relationships in the future.

2) Different visions of the future

It’s essential for couples to discuss their future plans and aspirations. But what happens when those visions don’t align? I learned this the hard way in a past relationship.

He was all about city life – the hustle, the nightlife, the dynamic energy. He had dreams of climbing the corporate ladder and living in a penthouse in Manhattan. On the other hand, I craved a more tranquil life. I pictured a quaint house in the countryside, a garden, and a small-town community feel.

We loved each other deeply, but our future plans were miles apart. It felt like we were rowing our love boat in different directions. As much as we tried to find a middle ground, it was clear our visions for the future were fundamentally different.

This is another sign that you may love each other a lot, but perhaps you just weren’t meant to be. When your life goals are drastically different, it can create an almost insurmountable divide between you and your partner over time.

3) Lack of conflict resolution

Disagreements and conflicts are part of every relationship. However, the key lies in how we resolve these conflicts. In fact, according to relationship experts, it’s not the number of disagreements that spells trouble for a couple, but the inability to find resolution.

When you and your partner argue, if there’s no resolution or compromise in sight, it can lead to resentment and frustration. This is even more apparent when the same issues come up time and again without any progress.

If you find that you’re stuck in this loop of endless conflict without resolution, it might be a sign that you love each other a lot, but perhaps you just weren’t meant to be. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but understanding this can help both of you move towards healthier relationships where conflict can be resolved constructively.

4) Feeling drained instead of energized

In a healthy relationship, spending time with your partner should leave you feeling loved and energized. But if you often find yourself feeling drained and emotionally exhausted after spending time with your partner, it’s a sign that something isn’t quite right.

A relationship should lift you up, not bring you down. It should provide a safe space for you to grow and flourish, not leave you feeling depleted and worn out.

If you notice that your time together often leaves you feeling more worn out than when you started, it might be a sign that while you love each other a lot, you just weren’t meant to be. 

5) The spark has fizzled out

Remember when you first started dating? That spark, that electricity, that made every moment feel exciting? Over time, it’s normal for some of that initial intensity to settle down into a comfortable rhythm.

However, if you find that the spark has completely fizzled out and all you’re left with is a relationship that feels more like a routine than a romantic partnership, it might be a sign of trouble.

Loving someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re meant to be together forever. If your relationship lacks passion and you find yourself longing for the excitement that once was, it could be a sign that despite your love for each other, you just weren’t meant to be. 

6) You don’t bring out the best in each other

Love is about more than just affection and attraction. It’s about inspiring each other to be better, to grow, and to reach new heights. When you’re with the right person, they will motivate you to become the best version of yourself and vice versa.

But what happens when your relationship does the opposite? When you bring out each other’s insecurities, worst habits or negative traits?

When love is true and right, it should feel like a breath of fresh air, like sunshine on a cloudy day. But if your relationship feels like a storm that’s constantly brewing, it could be a sign that while you love each other deeply, you might not be meant for each other.

It’s a heartbreaking realization, but acknowledging this can lead you on a path towards a relationship where both of you inspire and uplift each other.

7) You feel alone even when you’re together

There’s a certain kind of loneliness that’s unique to being in a relationship where you’re not truly connected. I’ve been there, sitting across from someone I deeply loved, yet feeling utterly alone.

We shared the same space, but our hearts seemed miles apart. We would be together, yet I felt like I was on a solitary journey. It’s a strange, hollow feeling to be physically close to someone but emotionally distant.

If you find yourself feeling alone even when you’re with your partner, it could be a sign that while there’s love, you just weren’t meant to be together. It’s a hard truth to face, but it can lead you towards finding a connection where you feel seen, heard, and truly understood.

8) You’re both too similar

It’s often said that opposites attract, but having common interests and similar personalities can also make for a great partnership. However, there’s a fine line between being compatible and being too similar.

If you and your partner have identical personalities, it can lead to a lack of individual growth and stimulation. After all, part of the joy in a relationship comes from learning from one another and having our perspectives broadened.

Paradoxically, being too similar can sometimes be problematic. If you find that there’s no room for personal growth or new experiences in your relationship, it might be a sign that while you love each other a lot, you just weren’t meant to be. 

9) Lack of support for each other’s dreams

In a healthy relationship, partners support each other’s dreams and aspirations. But what happens when your partner doesn’t stand behind your dreams? Or when you find it hard to genuinely support theirs?

If you or your partner consistently downplay or dismiss each other’s ambitions, it can create a rift in your relationship. Love should be about supporting and believing in each other, even when the dreams seem too big or scary.

If this support is missing, it might be a sign that while there’s love, you might not be meant for each other. It’s a tough realization, but acknowledging it can lead you towards a relationship where both of you feel encouraged to chase your dreams.

10) You can’t imagine growing old together

When you’re in a relationship with the person you’re meant to be with, you can picture a future with them. Not just the near future, but decades down the line. You can imagine growing old together, facing life’s challenges side by side.

But if you struggle to envision a life with your partner beyond the present or the immediate future, it’s a sign that something’s off. Despite the love you share, if you can’t see yourselves as two old folks sitting on a porch swing, reminiscing about the good old days, it might mean that you weren’t meant to be.

This is a vital piece of insight that can help determine whether your love story has a forever after or if it’s time to turn the page.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-love

One essential truth that resonates in the realm of relationships is this: You cannot pour from an empty cup. You need to love yourself first before you can fully love another.

Sometimes, parting ways with someone you love isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. Instead, it’s an act of self-love, acknowledging that your happiness matters.

Renowned author and philosopher Alain de Botton once said, “Compatibility is an achievement of love. It shouldn’t be its precondition.” This implies that love isn’t simply about finding the perfect fit, but about working towards building compatibility.

However, if you’ve tried and realized that you and your partner aren’t meant to be despite your deep love for each other, remember it’s okay. It’s okay to choose yourself. It’s okay to seek your happiness, even if it means letting go of someone you love.

As you reflect on these signs, remember that understanding yourself and acknowledging your needs are the first steps towards finding a relationship that brings out the best in you.