10 signs someone is deeply attracted to you but trying to play it cool

Reading the signs when someone is attracted to you can be as complex as deciphering a secret code.

Especially if they’re playing it cool, keeping their cards close to their chest, but you sense that deep down, they’re deeply attracted to you.

Understanding this subtle dance can be a game-changer. It’s like having x-ray vision into another person’s feelings, and it can save you a lot of guesswork and confusion.

Here are some tell-tale signs that someone is trying to play it cool, but they’re actually deeply attracted to you. 

1) They initiate contact

One of the first signs someone is attracted to you, even while trying to play it cool, is that they’ll often initiate contact.

In the world of dating, making the first move is usually left up to the person who’s more interested. And by “contact”, I don’t just mean physical touch – though that can certainly be part of it.

It could be they’re the one who texts or calls first. Perhaps they always seem to find a way to bump into you during your lunch break, or they’re regularly commenting on your social media posts.

Remember though: context matters. There’s a difference between someone who’s just being friendly and someone who’s subtly showing their attraction.

Pay close attention to these signs and you’ll start noticing patterns. It’s all part of the game when someone’s deeply attracted but trying to maintain their cool exterior.

2) They remember small details

In my own experience, a strong sign that someone is attracted to you is when they remember the little things you’ve mentioned in passing.

I’ll share a personal anecdote here. There was this person I used to work with who always seemed aloof and indifferent. But one day, out of the blue, they brought me a book that I had casually mentioned wanting to read weeks ago. I was taken aback. It was an insignificant detail, but they remembered.

It’s these small tokens of thoughtfulness that can hint at someone’s hidden affection for you. It shows they pay attention when you speak and value what you say – even when they’re trying their best to play it cool.

3) Their body language changes around you

Body language can talk louder than words. When someone is attracted to you, their body language tends to change in subtle ways when you’re around.

They might lean in when you’re talking or mirror your gestures. Even their pupils can dilate due to the increased level of interest and excitement – a physiological response we cannot control.

This isn’t just romantic speculation – studies in human biology and psychology have confirmed that our pupils tend to enlarge when we are looking at something or someone we find attractive. It’s a part of our instinctive reaction to attraction, something that happens even when someone is trying to play it cool.

4) They tease you

Teasing might seem like a throwback to our schoolyard days, but it’s a tactic often employed by adults when they’re attracted to someone.

This isn’t about being mean or hurtful. It’s more about playful banter and light-hearted ribbing. It’s their way of engaging with you, sharing a laugh, and creating a shared experience.

It’s funny how we often resort to our childhood tactics when dealing with matters of the heart. It’s almost as if, in the face of our feelings, we regress a little bit.

If someone is consistently teasing you, don’t dismiss it offhand. They might be using humor as a mask for their deeper attraction, and trying to keep things casual while they figure out their feelings.

5) They show genuine interest in your life

When someone is attracted to you, they want to know more about you – your interests, your routines, your likes and dislikes. And not just on a superficial level. They dig deeper.

They might ask about your family, your childhood, or your aspirations. It’s not just idle chit-chat. They’re investing time and energy in understanding you as a person.

This deep interest often shines through, even when they’re trying to play it cool. They can’t help but want to know more about you because their attraction makes you inherently fascinating to them.

6) They are there for you in tough times

Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us when we least expect it. During these challenging times, the people who stick by your side, lend a helping hand, or just offer a listening ear often hold a special place in our hearts.

When someone is attracted to you, they won’t just be there for the fun and laughter. They’ll also be there during the stormy weather. They’ll offer support, comfort, and a shoulder to lean on when you need it most.

This kind of emotional availability is a clear sign of deeper feelings. It’s easy to be around someone when everything is sunshine and rainbows. But standing by them in their darkest hours? That requires a level of attraction and care that’s hard to hide, no matter how cool they’re trying to play it.

7) They show signs of nervousness around you

Everyone has a different reaction to nerves. Some people get chatty, others become quiet. Some fidget, while others might become overly formal.

I remember a time when I was attracted to someone but was trying hard to hide it. Whenever I was around them, my heart would race, and I would overthink every single thing I said. I would constantly fiddle with my watch or my hair, completely subconsciously.

If you notice that someone behaves differently around you – maybe they’re more anxious, more talkative, or more reserved – it could be a sign that they’re attracted to you. They’re nervous because they care about how you perceive them.

Remember, we’re all human, and it’s natural to get nervous around people we have feelings for. Even if we’re trying to play it cool.

8) They give you space

This might seem contradictory at first. If someone is attracted to you, wouldn’t they want to spend as much time as possible with you? Not necessarily.

When someone is deeply attracted to you but trying to play it cool, they might consciously create some distance. They do this to avoid coming on too strong or revealing their feelings prematurely.

They respect your personal space and time, showing a level of maturity and understanding that speaks volumes about their feelings for you.

If someone seems to be giving you more space than usual, it might not be a sign of disinterest. Quite the opposite; they could be using this tactic to mask their deeper attraction.

9) They compliment you subtly

Compliments are an obvious way of showing attraction, but when someone is trying to keep their feelings under wraps, they might opt for a more subtle approach.

Instead of showering you with praises, they’ll compliment you in a way that feels natural and casual. It might be a passing comment on your sense of humor, the way you handle a difficult situation, or your unique viewpoint on a topic.

These aren’t your typical “you look nice” compliments. They’re more personal, more reflective of who you are as a person. Because that’s what they’re attracted to – not just your looks, but your personality, your character, your essence.

10) They’re always there for you

The most telling sign that someone is deeply attracted to you, even while trying to play it cool, is their consistency. They’re always there for you, in one way or another.

Whether it’s showing up for your big presentation, being the first to wish you on your birthday, or just checking in on you when you’re down – they make it a point to be present in your life.

Attraction isn’t just about grand gestures and declarations of love. Sometimes, it’s about the small things that show they genuinely care about you and want to be a part of your life.

When someone is consistently there for you, through the highs and lows, it’s one of the strongest signs that they’re deeply attracted to you. Even if they’re trying their best to play it cool.