10 signs someone is actually not an honest person (even if they seem trustworthy on the surface)

There’s often a thin line between honesty and deception. Sometimes, people who appear trustworthy can actually be hiding their true colors.

It’s not about being paranoid, but about understanding that appearances can be deceiving. People might seem to be honest, but subtle signs might reveal otherwise.

Being aware of these signs can save you from a world of hurt – from personal relationships to business dealings.

In this article, we’ll uncover 10 signs that someone might not be as honest as they appear to be, even if they are seemingly trustworthy. 

Let’s get started.

1) They are inconsistent

Consistency is a trademark of honest people. They stick to their words and their actions align with what they say.

But when dealing with someone who’s not entirely honest, you might notice a perplexing inconsistency. Their stories don’t quite line up or their actions contradict their words.

This inconsistency is often because it’s hard to keep track of lies. The truth, on the other hand, remains consistent because it’s based on facts.

So if you notice a lack of consistency in someone’s words or actions, take note. It might be an indication that they’re not as trustworthy as they seem.

Nobody is perfect and we all have instances where our actions don’t align with our words. But if this inconsistency is a pattern, it could be a red flag.

Remember though, jumping to conclusions isn’t helpful either. Use this sign as a prompt for further observation rather than immediate judgment.

2) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact can tell you a lot about a person’s honesty. I learned this from personal experience.

I once had a friend who always seemed to avoid eye contact when we were discussing serious topics. At first, I brushed it off as him just being shy or uncomfortable. However, I started to notice that this behavior was more prevalent when he was talking about his personal life, particularly regarding his financial situation.

One day, he confessed to me that he had been lying about his job and was actually struggling financially. He had been too embarrassed to tell the truth because he didn’t want anyone to think less of him.

That was when it hit me – his lack of eye contact was a sign of his dishonesty. He couldn’t look me in the eye because he felt guilty about lying.

Since then, I’ve been more observant of people’s eye contact. It’s not a foolproof method, as some people are just naturally uncomfortable with maintaining eye contact, but it can be a useful indicator in some situations.

3) They touch their face a lot when speaking

When someone is not being truthful, their body language often gives them away. One common sign is frequent face touching.

According to research in the field of nonverbal communication, people are likely to touch their face more when they’re being dishonest. This is because lying can cause a tingling sensation on the face and neck, making the liar want to scratch or touch it.

This sign isn’t foolproof, as some people may just have a habit of touching their face. But if paired with other signs, it could be a telling indicator of dishonesty.

4) They overcomplicate their stories

Honesty usually comes with simplicity. When someone is truthful, they don’t need to add unnecessary details to their story. They’ll tell it as it is.

But if someone is being dishonest, they might overcomplicate their stories. They’ll add in a lot of extra details, often irrelevant ones, to make their lie seem more believable.

These unnecessary details are usually a cover-up for the truth that they are trying to hide. It’s like a smoke screen, designed to distract you from what’s really going on.

So if someone’s stories often seem unnecessarily complicated, filled with irrelevant details and tangents, it could be a sign that they’re not being entirely truthful.

Some people naturally love sharing details. It’s important to observe if this is a pattern or just an occasional habit before jumping to conclusions.

5) They are defensive even when unprovoked

An honest person is usually open to discussions and questions. They don’t feel the need to defend themselves because their conscience is clear.

On the other hand, someone who’s not being honest might be overly defensive. They might react strongly to simple questions or discussions, even when there’s no accusation or blame involved.

This defensiveness often comes from a place of guilt. They’re on edge because they’re trying to hide the truth and they see any question as a threat to their deception.

If someone often gets defensive for no apparent reason, it could be a sign that they’re hiding something. However, keep in mind that some people might just have a defensive personality. It’s crucial to consider the context and other signs before drawing conclusions.

6) They rarely show empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a trait that’s common in honest and trustworthy people. They show genuine concern for others, and their actions reflect this.

However, a lack of empathy can often be a sign of dishonesty. If someone is frequently indifferent to how others feel or fail to show compassion, they may not be as honest as they seem.

They might be more focused on their own interests and willing to deceive others to achieve their goals. Their lack of empathy allows them to do this without feeling guilty or remorseful.

This lack of empathy is not just about honesty, but also about basic human decency. An inability to empathize can hurt relationships and cause pain to others.

7) They break promises frequently

Promises are meant to be kept, not broken. But there was a time when I was dealing with someone who often broke promises – big and small.

This person would promise to show up at events and then never arrive. They would assure me they’d completed tasks, only for me to find out later that nothing had been done. They even made grand promises about future plans, but those plans never materialized.

At first, I thought these were just mistakes or oversights. But as it kept happening, I realized that it was a pattern – a sign of dishonesty.

Breaking promises frequently not only indicates unreliability but also a lack of respect for the other person’s time and feelings. It shows a willingness to say things that are not true to appease others in the moment.

8) They are excessively charming

Charm can be delightful, and charming people are often likable and engaging. However, an overdose of charm can sometimes be a cover for dishonesty.

When someone is overly charming, they might be trying to manipulate others’ perceptions to their advantage. Their charm serves as a distraction, a way to divert attention from their actions and create a positive impression that might not be entirely deserved.

This is not to say that all charming people are dishonest. Far from it. But if someone’s charm seems too good to be true or feels like it’s being used to mask something, it could be a sign that they’re not as honest as they seem.

9) They often shift blame

Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a key characteristic of honest individuals. They admit their mistakes and learn from them.

On the contrary, someone who is not so honest might frequently shift the blame onto others. They’ll find excuses and point fingers, anything to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.

This blame shifting is usually a defense mechanism. By blaming others, they divert attention away from their own faults and failures.

If someone rarely accepts blame and instead constantly points fingers at others, it could be a sign of dishonesty. Honest people own their mistakes instead of finding scapegoats.

10) They have a history of dishonesty

Past behavior is often a good predictor of future behavior. If someone has a track record of dishonesty, it’s likely they’ll continue that pattern.

Even if they seem trustworthy now, a past filled with lies and deceit is a significant red flag. It shows a willingness to be dishonest when it suits them.

This doesn’t mean people can’t change. People can and do turn over a new leaf. But it requires genuine remorse and consistent effort to break old patterns of dishonesty.

The essence of trust

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, whether personal or professional. And understanding the signs of dishonesty is a key part of building and maintaining that trust.

However, it’s essential to remember that human behavior is complex. These signs are not definitive proof of dishonesty but rather indicators to pay attention to. It’s also important to consider other factors such as context, personality traits, and past experiences.

While it’s crucial to protect ourselves from dishonesty, let’s not forget the importance of empathy and understanding. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes, people lie out of fear or insecurity.

So as we navigate our relationships, let’s strive for balance. Be vigilant but also kind. Seek honesty but also show understanding. After all, at the heart of trust lies not just truth but also compassion.

As we close this discussion on honesty, let’s reflect on a powerful quote by Mark Twain: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” A reminder that honesty is not just morally right, but also simpler and less burdensome than the web of lies.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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