10 reasons introverts actually understand people better than extroverts

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For some, being introverted is almost synonymous with being socially awkward.

Typecast as being reserved, quiet, and introspective, it’s precisely these characteristics that make introverts amazing communicators and even better at empathizing and relating with others.

Introverts have innate qualities and abilities that help them navigate social situations and truly connect with people they interact with.

They may not be the most forward communicators but they truly shine in understanding people and empathizing with others because of the following characteristics:
1) Introverts Really Listen

Communication is a two-way street, and responding to someone isn’t the only way to let them know that they’re being heard loud and clear.

The introvert’s proclivity to slowness makes it easier for them to be mindful of what the other person is saying and really pay attention to the information they’re receiving: whether it’s body language or actual verbal information.

Because they feel comfortable with the slowness, they don’t feel the pressure to respond.

Where other people would be quick to give advice, introverts really listen instead of filling the silence with words. Introverts are comfortable sitting in silence.

To them, listening is as natural as breathing.

What’s more, introverts listen not just with their ears but also their eyes.

They’re able to take in changes in their conversational partner’s demeanor, allowing them to adjust and respond authentically.

2) They Know How To Keep Secrets

Introverts don’t have to be told that certain information should be kept secret because they treat private conversations as sacred.

As inherently private people, they value their own personal bubble and selectively express themselves more open to people they truly trust.

This kind of sensibility lends a particular lens through which they interact with others.

When someone opens up to them, they have a natural tendency to assume that this information is for them alone.

It’s easier for introverts to empathize with vulnerability, and so secrets are much easier to keep.

Similarly, introverts are able to empathize with the embarrassment and betrayal that come with having a secret revealed.

Not wanting to have others experience this, they make it a point to keep their word and keep people’s secrets.

3) They’re Adept Problem Solvers

Introverts have naturally slow effects that often translate to more consideration and a natural tendency for strategizing.

When in the middle of a heated argument, they don’t ride the wave of anger or anxiety and let their kneejerk reactions take over.

That’s not to say that introverts are robots who never get frustrated or angry.

It’s more so that they don’t act on the very first thing that pops into their head.

They have a built-in filter that sieves through the less polite thoughts.

Equipped with empathy, they sift through those thoughts to form better arguments and drive their point home, and not at the expense of someone else.

Introverts are potentially better communicators because they see social roadblocks as opportunities for creative puzzle-solving.

When dealing with problems at work or in their personal relationships, they tap into their careful parts and thoughtfully consider a way through.

4) They Thrive In Deep Conversations

There’s a recurring myth that introverts are socially awkward.

On the contrary, introverts make amazing conversationalists because curiosity comes easily to them.

Once engaged, they are likelier to dig deeper about you than anyone else in the room.

In their own experiences, introverts know that they enjoy conversations that compel people to look inward.

Conversations that involve talking about their feelings or any type of introspection are typically enjoyed the most by introverts.

Knowing this, they tend to extend the favor to people they meet.

5) Introverts Are Naturally Introspective

On top of being adept body language readers, introverts also have internal alarm systems that keep them in touch with their feelings.

It’s rare, even unthinkable, for them to suddenly explode or act irrationally because they stick close to their feelings, allowing them to pay attention to changes in their mood.

Instead of exploding, they keep track of things bubbling under the surface.

So when talking to someone, their understanding of the other person and themselves allows them to round tough spots more flexibly.

They have a good understanding of their feelings and needs in the conversation so they’re not unconsciously lugging around anxiety and projecting on their conversation partner.

With this, they’re able to express care and curiosity more open towards others.

6) They Read Emotions Well

Extroverts are great when you want someone who is open, loud, and upfront about everything, but here’s the thing: when was the last time you were upfront about your emotions?

We rarely ever share the full extent of our emotions; in most cases, you want to keep your most personal feelings close to the heart, with only a very select few having access to them.

But when you’re dealing with an introvert, your feelings might as well be highlighted on a billboard. Introverts have an innate understanding of emotions, almost like a natural talent.

They have focused observational skills and a keen eye for detail, meaning while the extrovert might be hitting you up for a conversation, the introvert will be hanging back, noticing the little things — every micro facial expression, every glance and sigh.

It won’t take long for an introvert to understand what you’re really feeling.

7) They’re Good At Blocking Distractions

An introvert spends his or her life blocking the rest of the world out.

They like existing in their own bubble, not worrying about anything other than whatever they’re thinking about at the moment.

They understand the importance of giving their full attention, using their entire focus to truly understand what they’re thinking about.

And this is exactly what makes introverts so much better than extroverts when it comes to understanding other people.

Understanding another person isn’t an easy task: it demands really empathizing with them, seeing things from their shoes, and trying to feel exactly what they’re feeling.

The last thing you want when telling someone your feelings is having them assume what you’re feeling, based on existing models in their mind that may have nothing at all to do with you.

An introvert takes the time to block out the rest of the world and hear you out, in a way an extrovert never could.

They don’t want to skip to the end or make any shortcuts; when dealing with an introvert, they’re fully yours.

8) They’re Inspired To Cultivate Deeper Relationships

An extrovert is the life of the party.

They know everyone’s name and everyone knows theirs; they have the ability to charm the pants off everyone they meet.

They’ll have hundreds (if not thousands) of friends around the world, people they can party with and hang out with at a moment’s notice.

An introvert is completely the opposite.

They don’t see the value in having a hundred superficial, shallow relationships with no foundation; relationships where you barely know the person.

Introverts are drained by these kinds of relationships, which is why they prefer having just a handful of deep and meaningful relationships that last a lifetime with people they really know and love.

This makes introverts superior to extroverts in the art of understanding people, because they’re always analyzing and assessing those around them, trying to see what makes that person tick.

9) Introverts Don’t Rush To Conclusions

One of the worst things a person can do to you is jumping to conclusions regarding your feelings, and then mislabeling what you feel.

It takes a lot of courage to open up to another person, especially if you haven’t done it in a long time.

When you finally let your emotions out and show your true pain to another person, it’s because you trust that they’ll give you the time to process what you’ve told them, and do their best to understand it.

And this is something introverts are likelier to do than extroverts, taking the time to understand everything about you.

An introvert won’t rush to conclusions simply because they think they already know the answer.

They understand that every person is unique and has their own unique viewpoint and situation, and requires the time and careful thought to figure out.

An extrovert might feel the opposite, thinking that the sooner they can help a person with their problems, the better it will be for them.

10) They’ll Keep Remembering You

As we said earlier, introverts don’t enjoy the shallow, superficial relationships that extroverts thrive in.

This means there’s one huge difference between sharing your feelings with an extrovert and sharing your feelings with an introvert: the introvert won’t forget.

In fact, the introvert will keep thinking about your interaction, over and over again, because it’s not something that happens to them every day.

They’ll pick it over in their head a dozen times, thinking about all the little things; to an extrovert, this is just one out of a thousand interactions they have every day.

This means at the end of the day, the introvert will understand you much more in just a five-minute exchange than an extrovert ever will.

Putting yourself first

Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.

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All the best,

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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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