Lachlan Brown
Hey everyone, Lachlan here. I’ve spent years diving into psychology, self-improvement, and mindfulness—mainly through building Hack Spirit and Small Business Bonfire.
In that time, I’ve seen (and used) certain phrases that can trap us in negativity without us even realizing it.
So let’s take a look at these 10 phrases and unpack how they affect our minds, drawing on some well-known ideas from psychological research and quotes from iconic figures in the field.
1. “I can’t do anything right.”
This phrase often reflects the concept of learned helplessness, introduced by psychologist Martin Seligman.
When someone faces repeated setbacks, they might start believing they have zero control, creating a cycle that keeps them from trying new things. I’ve been there myself—getting stuck in that mindset where you feel like every attempt is doomed before it even begins.
A simple shift in language, like saying “I’m going to figure this out,” can create a huge difference in how you approach challenges.
It won’t turn you into a superhero overnight, but it nudges your brain toward possibility instead of defeat.
2. “Nothing ever works out for me.”
According to Aaron Beck, who pioneered cognitive therapy, overgeneralization is a big red flag for unhappiness.
Failing one test doesn’t mean you’ll fail every test, but this phrase turns a single setback into a life pattern. I remember early on in my entrepreneurial journey, I had days where I was sure everything was destined to fail, but focusing on small daily wins helped me see that not everything was broken.
Just changing your words to something like “This didn’t work out, but next time might be different” opens the door to hope and new strategies.
3. “That’s just my luck.”
This one might sound harmless if you say it half-jokingly, but it often hints at an external locus of control—a concept from social psychologist Julian Rotter, suggesting you believe everything that happens is outside your influence.
When you’re convinced the universe is just messing with you, you tend to lose motivation.
Personally, I prefer to think of it as making my own luck. Sure, random events occur, but there’s always something you can do to tilt the odds in your favor, even if it’s just the smallest action.
4. “I’m just not good enough.”
Negative self-talk can tear you down faster than any outside critic.
Carl Rogers famously said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
When I was first putting myself out there with Hack Spirit, I had a lot of “I’m not good enough” thoughts swirling around.
Turns out, embracing my imperfections gave me the space to actually improve.
So instead of calling yourself inadequate, try saying, “I’m a work in progress,” which reminds your brain that you can always grow.
5. “It’s always been this way.”
This phrase locks you into a belief that your situation is permanent. I call it a “stuck mindset,” where you assume you have no power to alter the future because the past never changed.
Truth is, life evolves, and so do we. When I started my very first blog, I had no idea it could turn into a thriving platform—and it only did because I believed it could.
Telling yourself that you can create a new path, no matter the history, keeps your mind curious and open to new possibilities.
6. “I have no choice.”
Albert Bandura’s idea of self-efficacy underlines how important it is to believe you can handle what life throws at you.
When you say you have no choice, you’re essentially stripping away your own agency.
I’ve seen people endure terrible work situations or unhealthy relationships just because they convinced themselves there was no other way out.
The reality is, you might have hard choices, but you still have them—and owning that fact is the first step toward better decisions.
7. “I’ll never be as good as [someone else].”
We all compare ourselves to others, which Leon Festinger’s Social Comparison Theory explains quite well.
But constantly measuring yourself against someone else’s highlight reel will leave you feeling inadequate.
I’ve struggled with this, especially when I see wildly successful entrepreneurs or mindful gurus who seem to have everything figured out.
The best antidote I’ve found is focusing on my own improvements and celebrating small wins that show me I’m moving forward in my own lane, at my own pace.
8. “Nobody cares about me.”
This phrase can be a sign of a depressive thinking pattern—one that might make you push people away right when you need them most.
Carl Jung once said, “Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”
If you catch yourself thinking nobody cares, try reaching out to a trusted friend or a professional.
Sometimes, simply sharing your thoughts can remind you that more people care than you might realize.
9. “I always end up failing in the end.”
This is a classic case of catastrophizing—seeing a negative outcome as inevitable.
When I launched Small Business Bonfire, I was haunted by the fear that all my efforts would crash and burn in some spectacular fashion.
But by zeroing in on what I could improve day by day, I noticed that each mini-failure taught me something vital.
If you replace “I always fail” with “I’ve had setbacks, but I learn something each time,” you’ll likely feel more motivated to keep trying instead of surrendering to defeat.
10. “Why bother?”
This phrase is the ultimate expression of hopelessness. Viktor Frankl, in his famous work Man’s Search for Meaning, highlighted the power of having even a small purpose to hold onto during dark times.
Whenever I’ve felt myself slipping into “Why bother?” territory, I’ve forced myself to pick one tiny goal—could be writing a single paragraph of an article or making one connection email.
Having even a little spark of purpose can pull you out of that bleak mindset and remind you that there’s something worth striving for.
Conclusion
If you’ve spotted any of these phrases in your own thoughts, consider it a nudge to pause and reevaluate.
From my personal journey and research, I’ve learned that the language we use shapes how we see ourselves and the world around us.
By tweaking these phrases into something more hopeful, you change the game, inviting a more positive outlook and allowing for genuine growth.
It might seem small, but these little linguistic shifts can make a big difference in how you experience life.
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