10 behaviors that immediately make people dislike you when you first meet them

First impressions really do matter. When meeting someone for the first time, the smallest behaviors can instantly make them dislike you.

It’s not about being fake or putting on a show, but there are certain things you might be doing unconsciously that can leave a bad taste in someone’s mouth.

In this piece, we’ll dive into these behaviors and help you to avoid them. Remember, it’s not about manipulation, it’s about creating genuine and positive connections with people.

Let’s get started. 

1) Acting overly confident

Confidence is attractive, there’s no denying that. When we meet someone who’s confident, we’re instinctively drawn towards them. But there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

Arrogance can be a major turn-off. It can make people feel like you’re not interested in anything but yourself. And let’s be honest, no one likes being around a know-it-all.

When you meet someone for the first time, it’s crucial to show genuine interest in them. Ask them about their interests and experiences, and listen to what they have to say.

Overconfidence can make you come across as self-absorbed and dismissive of others’ ideas. So, remember to stay grounded and show humility.

It’s not about downplaying your accomplishments or abilities. It’s about showing respect for others and valuing their input as much as your own.

2) Not maintaining eye contact

I remember a time when I first met someone at a networking event. They barely made eye contact with me while we were talking, their gaze constantly drifting to other people or their phone.

This behavior immediately gave me a feeling of being unimportant and uninteresting. It felt as if they were looking for a more engaging conversation elsewhere, and that was disheartening.

Eye contact is one of the most fundamental aspects of human communication. When maintained appropriately, it can help to establish trust and rapport. But when it’s lacking, it can make the other person feel undervalued or ignored.

When you meet someone for the first time, make sure to maintain a good level of eye contact. It shows that you’re present, engaged, and genuinely interested in what they have to say.

3) Interrupting the conversation

There’s a lot of talking that goes on in the world, but not so much listening. Research conducted by Faye Doell, a psychologist from York University, revealed that there are two types of listening – ‘listening to respond’ and ‘listening to understand’. The latter is what we should strive for, but often fail to practice.

Interrupting someone while they’re speaking is a clear indication of ‘listening to respond’. It conveys that you can’t wait for your turn to speak and aren’t truly interested in understanding the other person’s perspective. This can immediately make you appear insensitive and self-focused.

When you’re engaging in a conversation, especially with someone you’ve just met, aim to listen more than you speak. Show genuine interest in their thoughts and allow them to express themselves fully before responding. This will make them feel valued and respected.

4) Being too negative

We all have bad days where things don’t go as planned. But constantly complaining or focusing on the negatives can be a huge turn-off when meeting someone for the first time.

Negativity has a way of draining energy and creating an uncomfortable atmosphere. It can make the other person feel burdened and anxious, which isn’t the best way to start a relationship.

Strive to keep the conversation light and positive, especially during a first meeting. Share your passions, exciting experiences, or funny anecdotes. This doesn’t mean you have to fake positivity or hide your struggles, but rather focus on creating a pleasant and inviting conversation.

People are more likely to gravitate towards positivity and optimism. So, try to leave the complaints and cynicism behind when you’re making a first impression.

5) Checking your phone constantly

Picture this: You’re in the middle of a conversation with someone you’ve just met, and they’re constantly glancing at their phone, responding to messages, or scrolling through social media. It’s distracting and disrespectful, isn’t it?

In today’s digital age, our phones have become an extension of ourselves. But when meeting someone for the first time, it’s essential to give them your undivided attention. This shows respect for their time and interest in getting to know them.

If you’re constantly checking your phone, it sends a message that you’d rather be somewhere else or doing something else, which can make the other person feel unimportant.

When you meet someone new, try to keep your phone out of sight and out of mind. The notifications can wait, but a good first impression can’t.

6) Not being authentic

When we meet new people, there’s often this pressure to impress, to fit in, or to portray ourselves in a certain way. But there’s something incredibly special and heartwarming about meeting someone who is genuinely themselves.

Authenticity is the key to building meaningful and long-lasting relationships. It’s being open about who you are, embracing your strengths and weaknesses, and not being afraid to show your true colors.

When you’re authentic, people can feel it. They’re more likely to trust you and feel comfortable around you. But if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not, people can usually sense that too. And it can make them feel uneasy or even suspicious.

When you meet someone for the first time, don’t be afraid to be yourself. Remember, everyone has unique qualities and experiences that make them who they are. Embrace your uniqueness and let it shine through.

7) Being dismissive of others’ opinions

Once, during a book club meeting, we were discussing a novel that I absolutely adored. However, another member explicitly expressed their dislike for the book. Initially, I felt defensive and dismissed their opinion outright. But then, I realized how my reaction must have made them feel.

Dismissing someone’s opinion, especially in a first meeting, can create a negative impression. It can come off as close-minded and disrespectful. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and perspectives, and acknowledging this is key to a healthy conversation.

It’s completely okay to have differing views. What’s important is how you handle these differences. Instead of dismissing another’s opinion, try to understand their viewpoint. Ask questions, show curiosity, and discuss it respectfully.

A conversation isn’t about winning an argument; it’s about understanding and learning from each other.

8) Overdoing the compliments

Compliments can be a great ice-breaker. They can make someone feel good and help establish a positive connection. But there’s a catch – when overdone, they can have the exact opposite effect.

Showering someone with compliments, especially during a first meeting, can come across as insincere or even manipulative. It might make people question your intentions or the genuineness of your praise.

Instead of using compliments excessively, focus on having a genuine conversation. If you feel the need to compliment, make sure it’s sincere and relevant. Remember, it’s not about impressing someone with flattering words; it’s about creating an authentic connection through meaningful dialogue.

9) Dominating the conversation

Ever been in a conversation where it feels more like a monologue? One person is doing all the talking, and you’re just there nodding and trying to get a word in.

When meeting someone for the first time, dominating the conversation can immediately make you less likable. It sends a message that you’re more interested in hearing your own voice than getting to know the other person.

Having a balanced conversation is crucial. It’s not just about sharing your thoughts, experiences, or stories, but also about listening to the other person’s views and experiences.

When you’re in a conversation, especially with someone new, try to observe if you’re dominating the talk. If so, take a step back and give the other person a chance to speak.

10) Not showing empathy

At the heart of all human connections lies empathy. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. And it’s arguably the most crucial factor in making a good first impression.

When you meet someone for the first time and show genuine empathy towards them, they feel seen, heard, and valued. It creates a bond of trust and understanding, which is the foundation of any strong relationship.

On the contrary, lack of empathy can make people feel dismissed or unimportant. It can make them dislike you instantly and create a barrier between you both.

Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or reconnecting with an old friend, always remember to show empathy. It’s not just about understanding their feelings but also about acknowledging them and responding in a caring way.

Final thought: It’s about respect

At the core of all interactions, especially first encounters, is a universal principle – respect. This principle transcends cultural, social, and personal boundaries.

Respect is not just about being polite or courteous. It’s an attitude of esteeming others, acknowledging their worth, and treating them with dignity.

Every behavior that makes people dislike you when you first meet them, in essence, stems from a lack of respect. Whether it’s interrupting someone while they’re speaking, not maintaining eye contact, or being dismissive of their opinions.

So the next time you meet someone new, remember that your behavior is a reflection of your respect for them. Be conscious of your actions and strive to show genuine regard for their feelings and experiences.

After all, as Laurence Sterne rightly said, “Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners”. It’s this fundamental respect that helps us make positive first impressions and build meaningful relationships.