Have you ever been in a relationship where you find yourself being manipulated?
At first, it may be hard to detect if your partner is trying to get his/her way with you because manipulation is usually masked as love. It’s when your partner tries to control you by sugarcoating his/her manipulative intention with sweet words.
If you allow your partner or any other person control your life, you are subjecting yourself to a form of abuse. So, how do you combat an obnoxious partner? You take control and learn to shut down these common manipulative phrases:
Manipulative Phrase No. 1: You made me do this!
Your Response: I am only responsible for my own actions, and so are you. If you have acted the way you did, you have to understand that it was you who decided to do it in the first place. I am never capable of making you or anyone do anything.
Manipulative Phrase No. 2: Why are you still mad at me? I already bought you a gift.
Your Response: It’s so kind of you to buy me that, but my forgiveness doesn’t come with a price tag. If you are trying to bribe me, then you can have your gift back.
Manipulative Phrase No. 3: I want to check your phone to see who you’ve been texting. It’s not you I don’t trust, but the other people.
Your Response: I am the one you are in a relationship with, so you don’t need to place your trust in other people. If you truly trust me, you don’t have to question my honesty and faithfulness. Otherwise, you are reducing me to a pathological and cheating liar, which I am not and will never be.
Manipulative Phrase No. 4: Just stay at home and let me take care of you. This is what’s best for the kids.
Your Response: This is not you taking care of me. This is you putting control over my life. If you want what’s best for our kids, you’ll let them have a mother who is contented and whole. The only way to make me whole is to let me do what makes me happy. I am afraid that I own that choice. My kids need to realize that they shape their own lives by making their own choices.
Manipulative Phrase No. 5: You need to do it my way. I understand that you have strong feelings about this, but this is for the best.
Your Response: It might be the best for you, but not for me. You need to hear me out and take into consideration whatever I need to say. The best thing for us is to make decisions as a couple.
Manipulative Phrase No. 6: Don’t leave me. I might hurt myself.
Your Response: You might want to call the suicide hotline if you are having these tendencies. I already explained the reasons why I left. I hope that’s clear with you.
Manipulative Phrase No. 7: You might not want to have kids right now, but let’s try. I just want to start a family.
Your Response: We can start a family without kids. What matters is we nurture mutual respect. That means that you’ll also respect my decision how many children we will raise and when we will have them. I will let you know when I am ready.